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THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS 


%fWz?&!&/  dttmsjQSi/vT/u&i 


Ctmetatte  Cncomtum 


OR 


The  Praise  of  Drunkenness 


REPRINTED  FROM  THE  SCARCE 
LONDON    EDITION   OF    1723 


4? 


PRIVATELY  PRINTED 
NEW     YORK      1910 


FIVE  HUNDRED  COPIES  OF  THIS 
EDITION  HAVE  BEEN  PRINTED 
AND   THE   TYPE    DISTRIBUTED 


THE    TORCH     PRESS 

CEDAR    RAPIDS 

IOWA 


(Original  Title-Page  in  Fac-Simile) 

e&wtatts  encomium : 

OR,   THE 

PRAISE 

OP 

BM  UMKEMJWESS 


& 


WHEREIN 

If  Authentically,  and  most  evidently  proved,  the  necessity  of 
frequently  getting  Drunk;  and,  that  the  Practice  of  get- 
ting Drunk  is  most  Antient,  Primitive,  and  Catholic. 

CONFIRMED 

By  the  Example  of  Heathens,  Turkt,  Infidels,  Primitive  Chris*- 
Hans,  Saints,  Popes,  Bishops,  Doctors,  Philosophers,  Poets, 
Free  Masons,  and  other  Men  of  Learning  in  all  Ages. 


BONIFACE  OINOPHILUS, 

de  Monte  Fiascone,  a.  b.  c. 

Vinum  Itetificans  Cor  hominis. 

Narratur  ©V  Prisci  Catonis, 

Scepe  Mero  caluisse  virtus.  Hobat, 


3tonDon : 


Pautrt©  for  E.  CURL,  against  Catherine  3tkem\ 

IN  THE  STRAND.      1723. 

[Price  Five  Shillings.] 


kP37 


EDITOR'S  PREFACE 

Homer  wrote  of  no  more  weighty  subject 
than  of  a  war  between  the  Frogs  and  Mice ; 
Virgil  of  a  Gnat  and  a  Pudding ;  Ovid  of  a 
Nut;  and  Lucian  and  Apuleius  told  the 
story  of  an  Ass.  May  this  trifle  drown  the 
cares  and  anxieties  of  the  reader  like  a  flask 
of  old  Falernian  and  thus  serve  to  verify 
the  claim  of  Erasmus  that  this  is  the  chief 
property  of  Bacchus. 

This  reprint  of  a  most  rare  and  curious 
panegyric  by  some  unknown  Oxford  or 
Cambridge  four-bottle  don  owes  its  appear- 
ance to  the  desire  of  a  booklover  to  double 
his  joy  by  sharing  a  treasure  with  others 

of  like  mind. 

Lewis  M.  Thompson 

New  York 

October  1,  1910 


AUTHOR'S  PREFACE 

IF  ever  Preface  might  serve  for  an  Apology, 
certainly  this  ought  to  do  so.  The  bare  title  of 
the  Book  is  enough  to  have  it  universally  cried 
down,  and  to  give  the  world  an  ill  opinion  of  its 
Author ;  for  people  will  not  be  backward  to  say, 
that  he  who  writes  the  Praise  of  Drunkenness 
must  be  a  Drunkard  by  Profession;  and  who,  by 
discoursing  on  such  a  subject,  did  nothing  but 
what  was  in  his  own  Trade,  and  resolve  not  to 
move  out  of  his  own  sphere,  not  unlike  Baldwin, 
a  Shoemaker's  Son  (and  a  Shoemaker)  in  the 
Days  of  Yore,  who  published  a  Treatise  on  the 
Shoes  of  the  Antients,  having  a  firm  resolution 
strictly  to  observe  this  precept,  Ne  sutor  ultra 
Crepidam. 

To  this  I  answer,  I  am  very  well  contented 
that  the  World  should  believe  me  a  Drunkard 
as  Erasmus,  who  wrote  The  Praise  op  Folly, 
was  a  Fool,  and  weigh  me  in  the  same  Balance. 

But  some  will  say,  what  good  can  a  Man  pro- 
pose to  himself  in  being  a  Panegyrist  for  Drun- 
kenness? To  solve  this  difficulty  I  shall  make 
use  of  a  comparison. 

M.  Pelisson,  in  his  History  of  the  French 
Academy,  says,  that  Menage  did  not  compose 
that  famous  Requete  des  Dictionnaires,  in  which 


he  ridicules  all  the  Academicks,  on  account  of 
any  aversion  he  had  to  them,  but  purely  to  divert 
himself,  and  not  to  lose  the  witty  turns  that 
came  into  his  head  upon  that  subject.  In  the 
same  manner,  I  declare  that  I  did  not  undertake 
this  Work  on  account  of  any  zeal  I  have  for 
Wine,  you  must  think,  but  only  to  divert  my- 
self, and  not  to  lose  a  great  many  curious  re- 
marks I  have  made  on  this  most  Catholic  Liquid. 
It  may  farther  be  objected  that  this  Work  is 
so  stuffed  with  Quotations,  that  they  hinder  the 
Book  itself  from  being  seen;  like  what  I  heard 
say  of  a  Country  Fellow,  who  complained  when 
he  left  London,  that  he  could  not  see  it  for  the 
Houses.  As  an  excuse  for  all  the  others,  I  shall 
make  use  of  one  Quotation  more,  and  this  I 
shall  borrow  from  M.  Bayle.  *  ' '  There  is  no 
' '  room  to  doubt, ' '  says  he, ' '  but  some  readers  will 
"judge,  that  there  are  a  little  too  many  Quota- 
' '  tions  in  this  work,  which  is  no  less  a  disorder, 
"  they  will  say,  than  what  happens  in  some 
"  Cities,  where  the  Strangers  are  more  numer- 
"  ous  than  the  Citizens.  But  of  what  impor- 
"  tance  is  it  to  travellers,  that  such  disorder  ap- 
"  pears  in  any  Country,  provided  they  find  in 
' '  it  honest  Folks.  There  is  no  reason  why  read- 
"  ing  may  not  be  compared  to  traveling.  We 
"  should  therefore  be  very  little  concerned, 
"  whether,  according  to  the  ancient  Country 
"  frugality,  we  are  entertained  with  what  is  of 


Pref.  dea  Rep.  aux  Quest,  d'uu  Pr.  T.  1. 


'  its  proper  growth;  or,  if  instead  of  the  Flesh 
1  of  domestic  Animals,  and  the  Fruits  of  our 
'  own  Vineyards  and  Gardens,  we  are  served 
'  with  what  comes  from  the  Market.  That 
'  which  really  is  of  consequence,  is,  that  the 
'  Meat  be  wholesome  and  well  dressed,  and  the 
'  Wine  good,  &c.  Unde  habeat  qucerat  nemo 
'  sufficit  habere." 

As  to  the  rest,  I  am  very  far  from  the  senti- 
ments of  a  certain  writer,  who  having  found  in 
his  Book  one  fault  only  consulted  one  of  his 
friends,  whether  he  should  put  down  Errata  or 
Erratum.  For  my  part,  I  subscribe  with  all 
my  heart  to  the  Errata  of  Benserade,  and  in  his 
words  frankly  own,  that  altho' 

Pour  moi  parmi  des  fautes  innombrables 
Je  n'en  connois  que  deux  considerables 
Et  dont  je  fais  ma  declaration 
C'est  I'entreprise  &  V execution 
A  mon  avis  fautes  irreparables. 

En  ce  Volume. 

Tho  num  'rous  Faults  I  see  in  this  small  Book, 
(And  so  may  any  one  that  will  but  look.) 
I  know  but  two  of  much  consideration, 
Of  which  I  here  make  public  declaration, 
The  Undertaking  and  the  Execution, 
Faults  too  extravagant  for  Absolution. 


CONTENTS 


CHAP.  I. 

THAT  one  must  be  Merry,  Page  1 

CHAP.  IT. 

That  Wine  drives  away  Sorrow  and  excites  Mirth, 

14 

CHAP.  III. 

That  it  is  good  for  one's  health  to  get  drunk  some- 
times, 26 

CHAP.  IV 

That  old  People  ought  to  get  Drunk  sometimes,  31 

CHAP.  V. 
That  Wine  creates  Wit,  34 

CHAP.  VI. 
That  Wine  makes  one  Eloquent,  42 


CONTENTS 

CHAP.  VII. 

That  Wine  acquires  Friends  and  reconciles  Ene- 
mies, 45 
CHAP.  VIII. 

That  the  custom  of  getting  Drunk  is  most  antient, 

48 

CHAP.  IX. 

That  the  Primitive  Christians  got  Drunk,        52 

CHAP.  X. 
Of  Church  Men,  56 

CHAP.  XI. 

Of  Popes,  Saints,  and  Bishops,  that  used  to  get 
Drunk,  62 

CHAP.  XII. 

A  Catalogue  of  some  Illustrious  Topers,  67 

CHAP.  XIII. 
Of  Philosophers  that  used  to  get  Drunk,  72 

CHAP.  XIV 
Of  Poets  that  used  to  get  Drunk,  78 

CHAP.  XV. 

Of  Free  Masons,  and  other  learned  Men  that  used 
to  get  Drunk,  81 


CONTENTS 
CHAP.  XVI 

Of  Nations  that  used  to  get  Drunk,  95 

CHAP.  XVII. 
Of  the  Drunkenness  of  the  Germans,  101 

CHAP.  XVIII 

Of  Nations  that  get  Drunk  with  certain  Liquors, 

109 

CHAP.  XIX. 

Other  Considerations  in  favour  of  Drunkenness, 

114 

CHAP.  XX. 

An  Answer  to  the  Objection,  That  Drunkenness 
causes  Infinite  Evils,  118 

CHAP.  XXI. 

An  Answer  to  the  Objection,  that  the  Mirth  which 
Wine  inspires  is  Chimerical,  121 

CHAP.  XXII. 

An  Answer  to  the  Objection,  That  one  loses  one's 
Reason  in  getting  Drunk,  129 

CHAP.  XXIII. 

An  Answer  to  the  Objection,  That  one  cannot 
trust  a  Man  that  gets  Drunk,  137 


CONTENTS 

CHAP.  XXIV. 

An  Answer  to  the  objection,  That  Drunkenness 
makes  one  uncapable  of  performing  the  Duties 
of  Civil  Life,  139 

CHAP.  XXV. 

Burlesque,    ridiculous,    and   out-of-the-way- 
thoughts  against  Drunkenness,  143 

CHAP.  XXVI. 

A  ridiculous  aversion  of  some  people  to  Wine,  145 

CHAP.  XXVI 1. 
Rigorous  Laws  against  Drunkenness,  149 

CHAP.  XXVIII. 

Rules  to  be  observed  in  getting  Drunk.  I.  Not 
too  often.     II.  In  good  Company,  153 

CHAP.  XXIX. 

Third  Rule,  With  good  Wine,  155 

CHAP.  XXX. 
Fourth  Rule,  At  convenient  Times,  160 

CHAP.  XXXI. 
Fifth  Rule,  To  force  no  one  to  drink,  163 

CHAP.  XXXII. 

Sixth  Rule,  Not  to  push  Drunkenness  too  far,  166 
Postscript,  174 


THE 

PRAISE 

OF 

DRUNKENNESS 


CHAP.  I. 

That  One  must  be  Merry. 

IF  on  one  hand  I  have  reason  to  fear,  that 
the  title  of  this  Book  will  offend  the  deli- 
cate ears  of  a  great  many,  and  make  them  say, 
that  no  vice  ever  wanted  its  advocate,  Nulla 
vitio  unquam  defuit  advocatus.  I  am  not  per- 
haps, less  exposed  on  the  other,  to  the  criti- 
cisms of  as  many  folks,  who  will  probably  apply 
to  me,  that  which  was  said  heretofore  to  one  in 
Lacedemonia,  who  had  a  mind  to  make  an  en- 
comium on  Hercules,  viz.  Who  ever  blamed 
Hercules? 

Quis  Herculem  vitupcravit? 

However,  though  I  should  have  no  Readers 
at  all,  yet  am  I  resolved  to  continue  my  dis- 


2       THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS 

course  at  the  Hazard,  in  a  manner,  of  imitat- 
ing Pyrrho  the  Philosopher,  who  one  day  as 
he  was  haranguing  the  people,  seeing  himself 
abandoned  by  all  his  auditors,  pursued  very 
magnanimously  his  declamation  to  the  end. 
To  enter,  therefore,  upon  the  present  subject, 
I  lay  down  this  as  my  first  position,  viz.  That 
it  is  lawful  to  get  drunk  sometimes.  Which  T 
prove  thus. 

Sadness  is  in  the  highest  degree,  prejudicial 
to  health,  and  causes  abundance  of  distempers. 
There  is  no  one  ignorant  of  this  truth.  Joy 
(or  mirth)  on  the  contrary,  prevents  and  forces 
them  away.  *  It  is,  as  the  Arabians  say,  the 
Flower  and  Spirit  of  a  brisk  and  lively  Health. 
Let  us  run  over,  and  examine  all  the  different 
states  of  life,  and  we  shall  be  forced  to  own, 
that  there  is  not  one  of  them  all,  but  what  is 
subject  to  Chagrin  and  sadness;  and,  conse- 
quently, that  joy,  or  mirth,  is  most  necessary 
to  Men.  Which  very  probably  the  Philoso- 
pher had  in  his  head,  when  he  defined  man  a 
Risible  Animal.  But  be  that  as  it  will,  one 
must  certainly  look  upon  that  maxim  which  re- 
commends mingling  of  pleasures  with  the  affairs 
of  life,  as  a  very  wise  one. 


*  EUe  est,  comme  disent  les  Arabes,  la  Fleur  &  1  'Esprit 
de  la  Sante  vive  &  remuante. 


THE  PRAISE  OP  DRUNKENNESS        3 

*  Sometimes  with  Mirth  and  Pleasure  lard  your 
Cares. 

We  shall  confirm  this  precept  by  a  beautiful 
passage  out  of  Seneca,  whose  writings  most  cer- 
tainly contain  no  loose  morality,  and  which  is 
as    follows.      "  The   soul   must   not   be   always 
1 '  bent :  one  must  sometimes  allow  it  a  little  plea- 
"  sure.     Socrates  was  not  ashamed  to  pass  the 
"  time  with  children.     Cato  enjoyed  himself  in 
"  drinking  plentifully,  when  his  mind  had  been 
"  too  much  wearied  out  in  publick  affairs.  Scipio 
"  knew  very  well  how  to  move  that  body,  so 
"  much  inured  to  wars  and  triumphs,  without 
"  breaking    it,    as    some    now-a-days    do,    with 
"  more  than  womanly  pleasures;  but  as  people 
"  did  in  past  times,  who  would  make  themselves 
"  merry  on  their  festivals,  by  leading  a  dance, 
"  really    worthy    men    of    those    days,    whence 
';  could    ensue   no   reproach,    when    even   their 
"  very    enemies    had    seen    them    dance.      One 
"  must  allow   the   mind,  some   Recreation:      It 
"  makes  it  more  gay  and  peaceful.     And  as  it 
"  is   not   good   too   much   to   cultivate   soil   the 
"  most  fertile;  least,  by  yielding  too  large  crops, 
"  it  may  soon  run  to  decay  and  ruin:     So  in 
"  the  same  manner  is  the  mind  broken  by  a 
"  continued   labour    and     application.       Those 

*  Tnterpone  tuis  interdum  gaiulia   curis. 


4       THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS 

"  who  respite  a  little,  regain  their  strength.— 
"  Assiduity  of  labour  begets  a  languor  and 
"  bluntness  of  the  mind:  for  sleep  is  very  ne- 
"  cessary  to  refresh  us,  and  yet  he  that  would 
' '  do  nothing  else  but  sleep  night  and  day,  would 
"be  a  dead  man  and  no  more.  There  is  a 
"  great  deal  of  difference  between  loosening  a 
"  thing,  and  quite  unravelling  it.  Those  who 
"  made  laws  have  instituted  holy-days,  to  oblige 
"  people  to  appear  at  publick  rejoicing,  in  or- 
"  der  to  mingle  with  their  cares,  a  necessary 
"  temperament.  There  have  been  several  very 
"  great  men  (as  I  have  mentioned)  who  would 
"  set  apart  certain  days  of  the  month  for  that 
"  end,  and  some  others,  who  had  every  day  set 
"  hours  for  work,  and  other  set  hours  for  re- 

"  creation. One    must    therefore    allow    the 

"  Mind  some  Recreation.  One  must  allow  it 
"  some  repose  and  leisure,  which  may  serve  for 
"  new  strength  and  nourishment.  You  must 
' '  sometimes  walk  in  the  open  air,  that  the  mind 
"  may  exalt  itself  by  viewing  the  heavens,  and 
"  breathing  the  air  at  your  ease;  sometimes 
"  take  the  air  in  your  Chariot,  the  roads  and 
"  the  change  of  the  country,  will  re-establish 
' '  you  in  your  vigour ;  or  you  may  eat  and  drink 
"  a  little  more  plentifully  than  usual.  Some- 
1 '  times  one  must  go  even  as  far  as  to  get  drunk ; 
"  not,  indeed,  with  an  intention  to  drown  our- 
"  selves  in  wine,  but  to  drown  our  cares.     For 


THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS       5 

"  wine  drives  away  sorrow  and  care,  and  goes 
"  and  fetches  them  up  from  the  bottom  of  the 
"  soul.  And  as  drunkenness  cures  some  dis- 
"  tempers,  so,  in  like  manner,  it  is  a  sovereign 
"  remedy  for  our  sorrows.* 

It  must  be  confessed  indeed,  that  properly 
speaking,  this  passage  of  Seneca  is  levelled 
only  against  too  great  assiduity  in  labour  and 
business;  the  application,  however,  is  very  just 
in  relation  to  Chagrin,  which  causes  in  mens 
minds,  a  far  greater  alteration  than  can  be  ex- 
cited by  the  most  rude  labour  either  of  mind  or 
body. 

The  Ancients  had  besides  this,  another  motive 
which  induced  them  to  make  merry,  and  pass 
their  time  agreeably.  They  considered  the  short 
duration  of  their  life,  and  for  that  reason  endea- 
voured to  make  the  best  use  of  it  they  could.— 
It  will  be  no  difficult  matter  for  me  to  prove 
what  I  here  advance. 

Every  one  knows  that  the  Egyptians  made 
use  of  a  very  extraordinary  custom  in  their  fes- 
tivals. They  shewed  to  every  guest  a  skeleton: 
This,  according  to  some,  was  to  make  them 
think  of  death.  Others  again  assure  us,  "That 
"  this  strange  figure  was  made  use  of  to  a  quite 
"  contrary  end:  that  this  image  of  death  was 
' '  shewn  for  no  other  intent,  but  to  excite  them 


*  Seneca  de  Tranquilitate. 


6       THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS 

'  to  pass  away  their  life  merrily,  and  to  employ 
'  the  few  days  of  its  small  duration  to  the  best 
'advantage;  as  having  no  other  condition  to 
'expect  .after  death,  but  that  of  this  frightful 
'  skeleton.* 

This  last  sentiment  is  without  doubt,  most 
probable ;  for  what  likelyhood  is  there  that  peo- 
ple would  make  reflections  the  most  sad  and 
serious,  at  a  time  when  they  proposed  only  to  di- 
vert, and  make  themselves  merry.  This  influence 
had  the  sight  of  a  skull  upon  the  mind  of  Trimal- 
chion,  who,  (Petroniusf  tells  us,)  thus  expressed 
himself  on  that  object.  ' '  Alas !  Alas !  wretch- 
ed that  we  are !  what  a  nothing  is  poor  man ! 
we  shall  be  all  like  this,  when  fate  shall  have 
snatched  us  hence.  Let  us  therefore  rejoyce, 
and  be  merry  while  we  are  here.  The  Latin 
is  much  stronger. 

Heu!  Heu!  nos  miseros!  quan  totus  homuncio 

nil  est, 
Sic  erimus  cuncti,  postguam  nos  auferet  Orcus. 
Ergo  vivamus,  dum  licit  esse,  oene. 

A  little  before,  he  said  almost  the  same  thing. 
"  Alas!  Wine  therefore  lives  longer  than  man, 
"  let  us  then  sit  down  and  drink  bumpers;  life 
"  and   wine  are  the  same  thing.     Heu!    Heu! 


*  Histoire  de  Sept  Sages,  &c.  p.  137. 
jChap.  34. 


THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS        7 

ergo  diutius  vivit  vinum,  quam  homuncio.  Quare 
Tangomenas  faciamus,  vita  vinum  est.  This  puts 
me  in  mind  of  what  Ailienceus*  reports  of  an 
Egyptian,  caled  Mycemius.  This  man  having 
been  told  by  an  oracle,  that  he  had  but  a  very 
short  time  to  live,  resolved  to  make  the  most  of 
that  short  space,  and  to  that  end  did  nothing 
but  drink,  night  and  day. 

This  thought  of  an  approaching  death,  is  not 

so  importunate  as  is  believed,  since  it  is,  says 

anf    anonymous    French    author,    a    principal 

beauty  of  an  ancient  hymn  of  the  Poet  Cecilius. 

'  Let  me  be  assured,  says  he,  that  I  shall  live  six 

'  months,  and  I  shall  employ  them  so  well,  as  to 

'  dye   the  seventh   without   any   regret   in   the 

'  World." 

The  same  author  goes  on  thus,  "  The  mo- 
'  derns  have  not  failed  imitating  the  elegant 
'  flights  of  the  fine  wits  of  the  ancient  Greeks 
'  and  Romans.  I  find,  especially,  that  the 
'Italians  come  nearer  to  them;  perhaps  be- 
'  cause  they  are  more  proper  than  others,  to 
'  refine  on  pleasure,  This  is  the  character  of 
1  the  nation,  of  the  truth  of  which  I  shall  give 
'  no  other  proof  than  the  last  lines  of  an  elegy, 
'  written  by  Sannazarius,  a  Neapolitan  Gentle- 


*Lib.  10,  cap.   10. 

f  Keflex,  sur  les  Morts  plais.  p.  22. 


8       THE  PRAISE  OP  DRUNKENNESS 

"  man."     The  sense  of  which  in  English,  runs 
thus:— 

Since  vig'rous  youth,    all    blooming,    brisk, 

and  gay, 
Excites  our  tender  souls  to  sport  and  play, 
Let's  taste  ambrosial  pleasures  whilst  we 

may. 

Those  joys  to  which  our  souls  are  most  inclin'd, 
And  suit  the  throbbing  passions  of  the  mind. 
Let's  love  while  soft  ecstatick  fires  engage, 
And  shew  us  lovers  on  the  World's  great 

Stage, 

Dull  reason  only  suits  with  frightful  Age. 
And  see,  she  comes,  for  ever  to  destroy, 
For  ever  all  our  bliss,  and  all  our  joy. 
Unwelcome  age  comes  on  with  swiftest  pace; 
Let's  then  prevent  this  wretched  sad  disgrace. 
0  may  the  terrors  of  approaching  fate, 
Excite  new  fires,  inspire  fresh  vig'rous  heat; 
That  love  may  sov  'reign  reign  in  ev'ry  part, 
And  drive  unworthy  weakness  from  our  heart. 
Thrice  happy,  if  surpriz'd  by  death  one  day, 
Absorpt  in  sweetest  bliss  we  die  away. 

But  to  return  to  my  subject.  We  are  told  for 
certain,  that  the  Scythians  used  to  drink  out  of 
a  skull ;  and  probably  they  had  the  same  design 
in  doing  so,  as  the  Egyptians  had  in  looking  on 
their  skeletons.  But  leaving  these  objects,  which 
cannot  be  very  diverting,  in  what  view  soever 


THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS       9 

one  may  consider  them,  let  us  come  to  the  Ro- 
mans. Gruter  tells  us  in  his  inscriptions,*  that 
they  used  to  cry  out  at  their  feasts, 

Amici,  Dum  vivimus,  Vivamus. 

That  is,  Friends,  while  we  live,  let  us  be  merry. 
For  Raderus  has  evidently  made  it  appear,  by 
several  examples  out  of  Catullus,  Cecilius,  Varro, 
Anacreon,  and  other  antient  authors,  that  vivcre, 
or  to  live,  signifies  to  make  merry,  to  give  one's 
self  up  to  all  kinds  of  pleasures,  making  good 
chear,  &c. 

I  know  not  whether  the  Gascogns,  who  pro- 
nouncing the  V  consonant  like  b,  instead  of 
Vivis  &  regnas  in  secula  seculorum,  say  (as  I 
have  been  informed,  how  true  it  is  I  know  not) 
Bibis  &  regnas  in  secula  seculorum,  are  of  the 
same  sentiment  with  Raderus  in  this  point:  but 
very  probably  that  good  honest  German  was, 
who  in  a  kind  of  ecstacy  over  a  bottle,  cry'd 
out. 

0  felices  populi,  quorum  vivere  est  bibere ! 

However,  to  prove  this,  as  also  at  the  same 
time  to  confirm  what  has  been  said  above,  in 
relation  to  the  motives  that  induced  people  of 
old  times  to  make  merry,  I  shall  instance  some 
passages  of  the  ancient.     But  first  let  us  not 

*P.   609. 


10      THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS 

omit  this  inscription  in  Gruter*  which  is  not 
much  unlike  the  former. 

Vive,  Hospes,  Dum  Licet,  atque  vale. 

"  Be  merry,  landlord,  and  enjoy  yourself 
"  while  'tis  in  your  power,  as  for  the  rest, 
"  adieu." 

Martial  says  somewhere,  be  merry  to-day, 
depend  not  on  to-morrow. 

Sera  nimis  vita  est  crastina,  vive  hodie. 

Catullus  expresses  much  the  same  sentiments, 
in  these  beautiful  verses: 

"  Vivamus 


"  Bumoresq;  senum  severiorum, 
"  Omnes  uninus  estimem  s  assis. 
"  Soles  occidere  &  redire  possunt; 
"  Nobis  cum  semel  occidit  brevis  lux, 
"  Nox  est  per pet ua  una  dormienda. 

"  Let  us  be  merry 


"  And  all  the  rigid  cant  of  peevish  age, 
' '  Count  as  poor  straws  that  on  the  surface 

float. 
1 '  The  Sun  may  roll  his  swift  diurnal  course, 
"  And  from  the  ocean  raise  again  his  head, 
"  But  when  our  glimmering  lamp  of  life's 

expir'd, 

*  P.  699. 


THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS      1 1 

"  One  long  perpetual  Night  we  then  must 
sleep. 

Horace,  in  several  places,  says  how  we  ought 
(according  to  him)  to  employ  to  the  best  advan- 
tage, the  little  time  we  have  to  live;  but  especi- 
ally in  one  of  his  odes,  which  in  English  would 
inn  thus. 


All   things   hereto    invite.      Come,    come,   away, 

Let's  seize  the  present  hours,  nor  vainly  care 

For  future  time,  but  wisely,  only  fear 

To  lose  of  life,  one  short  uncertain  day, 

Or  moment,  which  in  death  must  soon  decay, 

No  human  force  can  her  strict  laws  withstand : 

Her  cruel  rigour  no  one  spares, 

The  blooming  cheek,  and  hoary  hairs, 

Alike  submit  to  her  victorious  hand. 

O'er  all  she  bears  unbounded  sway, 

All,  her  impartial  scythe  relentless  mows : 

Th'  ill-manner 'd  tyranness,  no  difference  shows, 

Betwixt  Imperial  and  Plebeian  clay. 

II. 

When  we  the  dark  and  dismal  beach 
Of  dreaded  floods  below  shall  reach, 
And  vain,  cold  phantoms  quiv'ring  stand, 
In  those  sad  gloomy  shades  of  night, 
No  Cynthia's  charms  will  then  command, 


12     THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS 

Nor  Iris  with  her  angels  voice  delight; 
Nor  Doris  with  soft  dying  languors  move. 
These  dreary  realms  exclude,  alas !  for  ever 
love. 

III. 

Nor  are  there  any  boon  companions  there, 
To  laugh,  and  sing,  and  make  good  chear; 
There  shall  we  taste  no  more,  that  wond'rous 

juice, 
That  nectar  which  the  blessed  vines  produce, 
The  height  of  all  our  joy,  and  wishes  here. 
Nor  those  sweet  entertainments  gay, 
When  by  the  glass  inspir'd  so  many  kings 
We  tope,  and  speak,  and  do  heroic  things. 
And  count  ourselves  more  happy  far  than  they 
These  days  of  ours,  the  fatal  sisters  spin, 
To  consecrate  to  love  and  wine, 
Let's  now,  e'er  'tis  too  late  begin. 
Alas!  without  these  pow'rs  divine 
What  should  one  do,  with  a  vain  useless  thread  ? 
What  does  it  aught  avail  to  breath  and  move? 
One  had  as  good  be  dead, 
Much  better  be  no  more,  than  not  to  drink  and 

love. 

I  shall  close  this  chapter  with  one  of  the  Ana- 
creontick  odes  of  the  famous  Monsieur  La 
Motte,  author  of  the   Fables  Nouvelles,  lately 


THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS      13 

translated  into  English  under  the  title  of  Court 
Fables. 

"  Buvrons,   Amis,  le   terns  s'enfuit, 
"  Menagcons  Men  ce  court  espace. 
"  Peut-etre  une  eternelle  nuit 
11  Eteindra  le  jour  qui  se  passe. 

"  Peut-etre  que  Caron  demain 

"  Nous  recevra  tons  dans  sa  Barque, 

"  Saisissons  un  moment  certain. 

"  C'est  autant  de  pris  sur  la  parque. 

"  A  I'envi  laissons-nous  saisir, 

(t  Aux  transports  d'une  douce  Yvresse: 

"  Qu'importe  si  c'est  un  plaisir, 

"  Que  ce  soit  folie  ou  sagesse. 

"  Let's  drink,  my  friends,  time  flies  away, 
"  Let's  husband  well  this  little  space; 
' '  For  what  we  know,  this  very  day 
"  May  to  eternal  night  give  place. 

"  Let's  snatch  from  fate  one  certain  minute, 
"  Perhaps  to  morrow  Charon's  wherry, 
"  May  every  Mother's  son  take  in  it, 
"  And  waft  us  o'er  the  Stygian  Ferry. 

"  In  giddy  transports  without  measure 
"  With  wine  let's  drown  all  melancholy. 
' '  No  matter,  if  it  be  a  pleasure. 
"  Whether  'tis  wisdom  call'd,  or  Folly. 


CHAP.  II. 

That    Wine   drives   away   Sorrow,   and   excites 
Mirth. 

OF  all  the  means  proper  to  drive  away  sor- 
row, and  excite  mirth  in  the  minds  of 
men,  wine  is  certainly  the  most  agreeable  and 
efficacious. 

For  in  the  first  place,  it  banishes  all  manner 
of  cares,  and  makes  us  entirely  forget  them,  pro- 
ducing the  same  effect  as  the  waters  of  the  river 
Lethe  on  those  souls  which  were  destined  to  en- 
ter into  other  bodies. 

Animce  quibns  altera  fato 


Corpora  debentitr,  Lcthei  ad  fluminis  undam 
Securos  latices,  &  longa  oblivio  potant* 

Those  souls  which  fate  decrees 


Shall  other  bodies  take,  upon  the  strand 
Of  Lethe  sit,  and  drink  secure  the  flood, 
And  long  oblivion. 

For  the  same  reason,  undoubtedly,  Isidore 
defined  drunkenness  a  certain  forgetfulness 
caused  in  the  mind,  through  indulgence  of  im- 
moderate drinking.     His  words  are  these,  Ebri- 


*  Virgil.  .^Eneid.  lib.  6,  v.  713. 


THE  PRAISE  OP  DRUNKENNESS      15 

etas  est  per  quam  menti  qucedam  oblivio  gener- 
ator ex  superfluorum  potuum  indulgentia* 

A  certain  French  Poetf  sings  thus  much  in 
the  same  tune. 

"  Out  Thirsis  c'est  le  vin  qui  nous  fait  rejeunir, 
"  Et  qui  bannit  de  nos  pensees; 
"  Le  regret  de  choses  passees, 
"  Et  le  crainte  de  Vavenir. 

Yes,  Thirsis,  'tis  the  vine's  prolific  juice 
Can  youth  and  beauty  re-produce, 

Banish  the  sad  regret  of  former  years, 
And  of  futurity,  the  fears. 

In  the  next  place,  wine  is  a  sovereign  remedy 
against  a  particular  species  of  sorrow  or  Cha- 
grin, I  mean  a  sort  of  inward  wearisomeness, 
which  the  French  call  Ennui.  I  shall  explain 
myself  a  little  farther,  and  for  my  expositor  I 
cannot  make  choice  of  a  fitter  person  than  Mr. 
de  St.  Evremond\\  who,  after  having  discoursed 
a  little  on  this  subject,  adds,  "  That  good  cheer 
"  with  ones  friends,  is  a  sovereign  remedy 
"  against  this  kind  of  chagrin;  for  besides  that, 
"  conversation  at  such  times  becomes  more  free 
' '  and  gay,  it  insensibly  sweetens  it.    It  is  certain 


*  Lib.  3.  Etymol. 
f  Kec.   Poes. 
HMiscel.  Vol.   1. 


16      THE  PRAISE  OP  DRUNKENNESS 

'  that  wine  rouses  up  the  forces  of  nature,  and 
'  gives  our  soul  a  vigour  capable  to  drive  away 
'  all  sorts  of  uneasiness.  I  know  very  well  that 
'  certain  morose  people,  at  least  externally  so, 
'  and  in .  appearance,  will  show  great  deal  of 
1  aversion  for  a  remedy,  the  delights  of  which 
'  they  do  not  however,  too  much  despise.  But 
'  all  Grimace  aside.  I  don't  trouble  myself 
'  with  their  ill  understood  severities,  since  the 
'  most  severe  Philosoper  in  the  world  has  ad- 
'  vised  us  to  make  use  of  this  remedy ;  and  the 
'  most  morose  of  our  illustrious  men  have  sub- 
'  mittcd,  if  we  may  say  so,  their  most  austere 
'  virtues,  to  the  charms  of  this  sweet  pleasure ; 
'  and  the  most  well-bred  people  have  not  dis- 
'  dained  its  usage." 

In  a  word  (I  must  speak  a  little  French  now 
and  then.) 

*  Le  Yin  fait  que  les  annees, 

Nous  durent  moins  que  les  journees. 

Wine  makes  whole  years  to  pass  away, 
And  seem  much  shorter  than  one  day. 

But  it  does  more  than  all  this,  it  even  as- 
suages Choler;  'tis  an  admirable  cataplasm  for 
rage.  To  cite  a  vast  number  of  examples  to 
prove  this  important  truth,  would  be  superflu- 
ous.   Amongst  the  many  illustrious  ones  I  could 


*  Eec.  de  Poes. 


THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS      17 

instance,  I  shall  content  myself  to  mention  that 
of  the  Emperor  Maximin*  who,  having  been 
declared  an  enemy  of  the  people  of  Rome,  by 
the  Senate,  fell  into  such  a  rage  and  fury,  that 
no  other  way  could  be  thought  on  to  bring  him 
back  to  his  natural  temper,  than  by  making  him 
drunk. 

But  let  us  return  to  the  two  principal  qualities 
of  wine,  which  consist  in  driving  away  care  and 
sorrow,  and  exciting  mirth  and  joy. 

A  certain  French  author  f  has  a  few  verses  on 
this  subject,  which,  as  not  mal  a,  propos  I  shall 
here  insert,  Talking  of  the  good  qualities  of 
wine,  he  says, 

"  Tu  sais,  mou  cher  Tirsis,  qu'il  a  le  privilege 
"  D'etouffer   les   ennuis  dont   I'aigreur  nous 
assiege. 

"  Et  que  cette  liqueur  chasse  de  nos  esprit s, 
"  Tous  les  facheux  pe users  dont  nous  sommes 

surpris, 
"  C'est  ce  qui  nous  oblige  a  cherir  la  bouteille. 

You  know  dear  Thyrsis,  and  full  well  you  know, 

To  wine  this  privilege  we  owe, 
It  stifles  all  those  sad  invading  cares 

Which  irksome  chagrin  ever  wears. 


*  Jul.  Capit.  Hist.  Aug.  Script.  Fol.  p.  359. 
f  Nicol  Rec.  de  Vers.  p.  44. 


18      THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS 

This  sprightful  liquid  makes  us  brisk  and  gay, 

And  drives  effectually  away 
Those  thoughts  vexatious,  that  surprize  our  soul, 

And  makes  us  cherish  the  full  bowl. 


Seneca,  whom  I  have  mentioned  in  the  fore- 
going Chapter,  confirms  what  has  been  said. 
Sometimes  (says  he)  one  must  go  even  so  far 
as  Drunkenness;  not,  indeed,  that  it  may 
drown  us,  but  drown  our  cares.  For  drunken- 
ness washes  away  care,  and  moves  the  very 
bottom  of  the  soul.  And  as  it  is  a  sovereign 
remedy  against  some  distempers,  so  is  it  a 
perfect  cure  for  heaviness  and  sorrow."  Non- 
nunquam  usque  ad  ebrietatem  venienduni,  non 
ut  mergat  nos,  sed  ut  deprimat  euros.  Eluit 
enim  euros,  &  ab  into  animce  movet,  &  ut  morbis 
quibusdam,  it  a  tristitice  medetur*  On  this  ac- 
count certainly  it  was,  Pliny  maintained  that 
Nepenthe,  whose  virtues  Homer  so  much  exag- 
gerates, was  nothing  in  the  world  but  generous 
wine. 

Horace,  in  like  manner,  insists,  that  wine  is 
the  only  proper  expeller  of  the  most  racking 
cares. 

Neque 


Mordaces   aliter   diffugiunt    sollicitu dines. f 


*  Seneca  de  Tranquil. 
fLib.    I.    Ode    18. 


THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS      19 

Nor  otherwise  are  cank'ring  cares  remov'd 

And  thus  advises  the  sage  Plancus  to  have  re- 
course to  this  remedy : 

"  Sic  tu  sapiens  fin  ire  memento 
"  Tristitiam,  viterque  labores 
"  Molli,  Plance,  mero. 

So,  thou,  sage  Plancus,  this  Memento  keep, 
To  lull  the  cares  and  toils  of  life  asleep 
With  Cordial  juleps  of  old  mellow  wine; 
The  grand  and  universal  anodyne. 

In  another  place,  he  thus  beautifully  sounds 
the  Praises  of  Drunkenness. 

"  Ebrietas  quid  non  designatf  operta  recludit 
"  Spes  jubet  esse  ratas:  in  prcelia  trudit  iner- 

tem, 
"  Sollicitis  animis  onus  cximit:  addocet  dries. 
"  Facundi  calices,  quern  non  fecere  disertumt 
"  Contractu    quern    non    in    paupertate   solu- 
tion." 

In  drunkenness  what  pow'rful  magick  lies, 
What's  most  envelop 'd  from  researching  eyes, 
(Transparent  thing)  it  evidently  shows, 
The  innocent  no  dark  disguises  knows. 
By  her  commands  our  hopes  maturely  rise, 
Push'd  on  to  war  the  coward  dauntless  dies, 
And  sinking  minds  beneath  unwieldy  care, 


20     THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS 

Cast  off  their  load,  and  move  with  sp rightful  air. 

To  her,  all  arts  their  origin  must  owe: 

What  wretch  so  dull  but  eloquent  must  grow, 

When  the  full  goblets  with  persuasive  wine, 

Inebriate  with  bright  elegance  divine, 

The  drunken  beggars  plume  like  proudest  kings, 

And  the  poor  tipsy  slave  in  fetters  sings. 

After  all  this,  will  any  one  accuse  me  for  a 
plagiary,  and  that  I  steal  from  the  most  com- 
mon places?  No  matter.  I  have  company 
enough.  Do  not  all  modern  authors  do  so? 
However,  I  shall  not  for  all  that,  pass  over  in 
silence  what  Ovid  has  said  of  this  same  drunk- 
enness.   The  passage  is  this : 

"  Vina  parant  Animos,  faciuntq;  coloribus  aptos. 

"  Cura  fugit,  multo  diluiturq;  mero. 
"  Tunc  veniunt  risus,  tunc  pauper  cornua  sumit, 

"  Tunc  dolor  &  curce,  rugaq;  frontis  abit. 
"  Tunc  aperit  mentes,  avo  rarissima  nostro 

"  Simplicitas,  artes  excutiente  Deo." 

As  I  am  nothing  less  than  a  Poet,  I  shall  not 
presume  to  dance  with  the  Nine  Sisters,  to  make 
use  of  the  thought  of  the  ingenious  Sarasin.— 
However,  here  follows  an  ode  of  Anacreon,  which 
may  supply  the  place  of  a  translation  of  those 
verses  of  Ovid. 


THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS     21 
I. 

"When  I  hold  a  full  glass  in  my  hand, 
I  laugh  and  I  merrily  sing; 
I  think  I  have  sov  'reign  command 
And  the  treasures  possess  of  a  king. 

II. 

Let  who  will  try  their  fate  in  the  field, 
In  war  all  their  days  let  them  pass : 
No  arms  but  the  bottle  I'll  wield, 
Fill,  Boy,  then,  a  thundering  glass. 

III. 

If  Bacchus  the  victory  gain, 
On  the  ground  tho'  I'm  motionless  laid; 
All  agree  it,  a  truth  very  plain, 
"lis  better  be  drunk  than  be  dead. 

And  very  probably  the  Greek  Philosopher 
had  wine  in  view,  when  he  caused  an  inscription 
to  be  made  over  his  door  in  these  words,  in 
capitals,  Here  are  remedies  for  all  sorts  of  afflic- 
tions; Here  are  cures  for  all  distempers  of  the 
sotd. 

The  philosopher  so  often  quoted  by  Seneca, 
desired  no  more  than  bread  and  cheese,  to  rival 
Jupiter  in  happiness:  for  my  part,  though  I 
am  no  less  a  philosopher,  yet  I  desire  nothing 
to  effect  this  but  good  wine.     For  when  I  take 


22      THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS 

a  hearty  g'lass,  I  find  myself  so  much  transported 
with  joy  that  I  could  almost  cry  out  with  that 
little  fool  in  the  Latin  comedy*,  Now  could  I 
pardon  any  one  that  would  kill  me,  so  much 
afraid  am  I  lest  some  accident  may  trouble  the 
purity  of  my  happiness,  and  mingle  some  un- 
grateful bitter  with  the  exquisite  sweets  I  now 
enjoy.  And  indeed,  it  is  amongst  bottles  and 
glasses  that  one  may  truly  say, 

"  Mediis  videat  discumbere  in  astris, 


"  Cum  Jove,  &  Illiacd  porrectum  sumere  dextrd 
"  Immortale  merumf. 

Far  from  the  earth  remov'd  in  realms  above, 
I  seem  amongst  the  stars  to  sit  with  Jove: 
Lolling  in  ease  celestial,  lie  supine, 
And  taste  from  Ganymede  immortal  wine. 

And,  without  doubt,  Asclepiades  had  all  this 
in  his  head  when  he  maintained  that  the  gods 
produced  nothing  that  equalled  wine  in  good- 
ness. Philostratus  is  much  of  the  same  senti- 
ment, who  after  having  taken  notice  of  the 
edict  of  the  emperor  Domitian,  who  forbad  men 
to  be  castrated,  and  vines  to  be  planted,  he  adds 
that  this  admirable  emperor  did  not  reflect  that 


*  Nunc  est  profeeto  cum  me  patior  interfici,  ne  hoc 
gaudium  aliqua  contaminetur  aegritudine.     Eunuch. 
f  Statii  Sil.  2.  Lib.  4. 


THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS      2a 

he  made  the  earth  in  some  sort  an  Eunuch,  at 
the  same  time  that  he  spared  men. 

Varro  sounded  the  Praise  of  Drunkenness  in 
terms  no  less  pathetiek. 

"  Vino  nil  quicquam  jucundius  duct, 
"  Hoc  continet  coagulum  convivii; 
"  Hoc  hilaritatis  dulce  seminarium 
"  Hoc  mgritudinem  ad  medendam  invener- 
unt. 

Than  wine  no  orient  jewels  finer  play, 

And  dart  more  pleasantly  their  glittering  ray. 

This  vital  juice,  the  cream  of  all  the  feast, 

Strong  cement,  close  uniting  every  breast, 

The  sweet  prolific  seed  of  gay  desires, 

Bright  mirth  and  gen'rous  amity  inspires. 

This  was  found  out  a  certain  remedy 

To  set  mankind  from  all  distempers  free. 

Monsieur  La  Motte,  whom  I  must  ever  admire 
for  his  inimitable  Court  Fables,  before  men- 
tioned, will  furnish  us  with  a  beautiful  Ode  to 
close  this  Chapter*. 

"  Bacchus  contre  moi  tout  conspire, 
"  Viens  me  consoler  de  mes  maux: 
"  Je  vois  au  mepris  de  la  Lire 
"  Couronner  d'indignes  Eivaux. 


*  Ode  9.   Anaer. 


24     THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS 


'  Tout  me  rend  la  vie  importune 
'  line  Volage  me  trahit, 
'  J'eus  pen  de  bien  de  la  fortune, 
'  L'ln justice  me  le  ravit. 

'  Mon  plus  cher  ami  m'abandonne, 
'  En  vain  J 'implore  son  secours, 
1  Et  la  Calomnie  empoisonne 
'  Les  reste  de  mes  tristes  jours. 

'  Bacchus  viens  me  verser  a  boire 

'  Encore bon Je   suis   soulage, 

1  Ckaque  coup  m'ote  la  memorie 
'  Des  maux  qui  m'avoient  afflige. 

'  Verse   encore Je   vois  I'allegresse 

'  Nager  sur  le  jus  precieux. 

1  Donne,   redouble 0    douce   Yvresse! 

'  Je  suis  plus  heureux  que  les  Dieux." 

Help,  Bacchus,  or  I'm  quite  undone, 
All  things  against  my  peace  conspire ; 
Unworthy  rivals  many  a  one 
I  find  despising  Song  and  Lyre. 

My  life's  intirely  irksome  grown, 
By  an  inconstant  I'm  betray 'd, 
On  that  small  fortune,  once  my  own, 
Injustice  has  severely  prey'd. 

Forsaken  by  my  dearest  Friend, 
In  vain  his  succour  I  implore; 


THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS      25 

And  Calumnies  rank  poisons  send. 
And  what  is  left  of  life  devour. 

Bacchus,  some  wine;  fill  higher  yet 

Again so 1  some  comfort  find; 

Each  smiling  glass  makes  me  forget 
Those  Evils  that  have  rack'd  my  mind. 

Some  more 1  see  gay  images 

On  the  rich  surface  sprightly  move, 

Fill  double 0  sweet  Drunkenness! 

I'm  happier  than  the  Gods  above. 


CHAP.    III. 

That  it  is  good  for  one's  health  to  get  drunk 
sometimes. 

ALTHO'  Mirth  and  Joy  be  absolutely  ne- 
cessary to  Health,  yet  it  must  be  allowed, 
that  there  are  a  great  many  pleasures  very  inju- 
rious and  prejudicial  to  it;  and  we  should  act 
with  precaution  in  using  those  we  make  choice 
of*.  But  this  precaution  is  not  necessary  in 
those  we  seek  in  the  sweet  juice  of  the  Grape. 
So  far  is  drunkenness  from  prejudicing  our 
health,  that,  on  the  contrary,  it  highly  preserves 
it.  This  is  the  sentiment  of  the  most  able  phy- 
sicians. These  worthy  gentlemen  are  arbiters 
of  life  and  death.  They  have  over  us,  Jus  vital 
et  necis.  We  must  therefore  believe  them.— 
Ergo,  let  us  heartily  carouse.  Every  one  knows 
that  Hippocrates,  the  prince  of  physicians,  pre- 
scribes getting  drunk  once  a  Month,  as  a  thing 
very  necessary  to  the  conservation  of  health; 
for,  according  to  him,  in  the  words  of  a  certain 
French  Lady^ : 


*  Voluptates    ut    mel   summo    digito    degustandae   non 
plena  manu  sumendae.     Dionys.  Sophron.  apud  Philostr. 
fMad.  Deshoul.     T.  2.  Ep.  p.   104. 


THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS      27 

"  Une  utile  &  douce  Chaleur 

"  Fait  qu'on  pense  au  sortir  de  Table 

"  Avoir  pris  de  cet  Or  potable, 

"  Qvi  triomphe  des  ans,  qui  cliasse  la 

douleur, 
"  Qui  fait  tout,  &  qui  par  malheur 
"  N'a  jamais  ete  qu'une  Fable." 

When  from  the  bottle,  flush  'd  with  wine,  we  rise, 

The  brisk  Effluvia  brighten  in  our  eyes ; 

This  sweet  and  useful  warmth  still  makes   us 

think 
That  cups  of  potable  rich  gold  we  drink, 
Which  baffles  time,  and  triumphs  over  years, 
Drives  away  grief  and  sad  perplexing  cares; 
Does  all,  and  yet  in  fable's  sweet  disguise, 
0  dire  mishap !  its  only  essence  lies. 

"  Avicenna  and  Rasis,  most  excellent  physi- 
"  cians  of  Arabia,  say*,  that  it  is  a  thing  very 
"  salutary  and  wholesome  to  get  drunk  some- 
"  times." 

Monsieur  IJofman  confirms  what  has  been 
just  now  said  in  relation  to  Avicenna,  and  adds 
thereto  the  testimony  of  another  physician.— 
"  Avicenna,"  says  hef,  "  absolutely  approves 
"  getting  drunk  once  or  twice  every  month, 
"  and  alledges  for  it  physical  reasons."  Dios- 
cordies  says,  "  That  drunkenness  is  not  always 


*  Div.  Lee.  de  P.  Messie,  Part  2,  Ch.  15. 
f  Hofman,  T.  2.  9  Dissert,  ch.  6. 


28     THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS 

' '  hurtful,  but  that  very  often  it  is  necessary  for 
"  the  conservation  of  health."  Homer  says, 
"  That  Nestor,  who  lived  so  long,  toss'd  off  huge 
' '  Bocals  of  wine*. ' ' 

Monsieur  Hofman  believes  also,  that  wine 
is  an  excellent  preservative  against  Distem- 
pers, and  of  an  admirable  use  in  their  cure. 
In  like  manner,  several  Divines  believe,  that 
there  is  no  manner  of  harm  in  getting  drunk, 
when  it  is  done  for  health  sake  and  not  for 
pleasure.  In  this  class  one  may  reckon  Pere 
Taverne,  a  Jesuitf.  These  are  his  words. — 
Drunkenness,"  says  he,  "  is  a  mortal  sin,  if 
one  falls  into  it  for  pleasure  only ;  but  if  one 
gets  drunk  for  any  honest  end;  as,  for  exam- 
ple, by  direction  of  one's  physician,  in  order 
to  recover  health,  there  is  no  manner  of  harm 
in  it  at  all. ' ' 
But  however,  not  to  digress  too  much  from 
our  subject,  to  preserve  their  health  the  Africans 
drink  a  great  deal  of  wine ;  and  this  they  do  to 
help  the  digestion  of  the  vast  quantity  of  Fruits 
they  eat. 

^Montaigne  tells  us  that  he  heard  Silvius,  an 
excellent  physician  of  Paris,  say,  that  to  keep  up 
the  powers  of  the  stomach,  that  they  faint  not, 


*  Bocal,  an  Italian  word,  and  signifies  a  Pot  or  Jug 
holding  about  three  pints. 
f  Synopses  Theolog.  pract. 
X  Essays,  lib.  2.  cap.  2. 


THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS      29 

it  would  be  very  proper  to  rouze  them  up  once 
a  month  by  this  wholesome  excess.  And  if  we 
believe  Regnier,  a  young  physician  does  not  see 
so  far  as  an  old  drunkard*. 

We  also  say  with  the  French  Poet§ : 

"  Si  Bourdaloue§  un  pen  severe 
il  Nous  dit:  craignez  la  volupte 
"  Escobar||,  lui  dit  on  mon  Fere 
"  Nous  la  permet  pour  la  8 ante! 

If  Bourdaloue,  somewhat  severe, 
Warns  us  to  dread  voluptuous  sweets, 
Good  honest  Father  Escobar 
To  fuddle  for  one's  health  permits. 

And,  by  the  by,  if  the  number  of  physicians 
who  used  to  get  drunk,  proves  any  thing-,  I  could 
insert  a  good  round  Catalogue,  among  whom  I 
do  not  find  any  English  Doctors,  for  they  are 
the  most  abstemious  persons  in  the  world ;  how- 
ever, being  unwilling  to  trouble  my  gentle  reader 
with  so  long  a  bead-roll,  I  shall  instance  only 
two  very  illustrious  topers  of  the  Faculty.  The 
first  is  no  less  a  man  than  the  great  Paracelsus, 
who  used  to  get  drank  veiy  often ;  and  the  other 
is  the  famous  Master  Dr.  Francis  Rabelais,  who 
took  a  singular  pleasure  to  moisten  his  clay ;  or, 

*  Satir. 
§  Boileau. 

||  The  Names  of  two  Jesuits,  the  former  a  famous 
Preacher,  and  the  latter  as  famous  a  Casuist. 


30     THE  PRAISE  OP  DRUNKENNESS 

to  make  use  of  one  of  his  own  expressions,  Hu- 
nter le  piot. 

I  could,  after  these,  mention  Patiu*,  who  tells 
us,  that  when  he  gave  his  public  entertainment 
for  his  Decanat,  or  Deanship,  at  which  thirty-six 
of  his  colleagues  assisted,  he  never  saw  in  all  his 
life  so  much  toping.  From  all  which,  however, 
one  may  very  reasonably  infer,  that  so  many 
able  persons  would  never  have  drunk  so  much, 
had  they  not  thought  it  was  no  ways  prejudicial 
to  their  health. 

To  conclude,  let  any  one  all  edge  this  verse  as 
a  maxim,  that 

Pocula  non  Icedunt  paucula,  multa  nocent. 
It  does  no  harm  to  take  a  glass  or  two, 
But  in  great  numbers  mighty  ills  accrue. 

And  I  shall  do  myself  the  honour  to  answer 
him  with  another  verse,  that  sometimes 

Una  solus  sanis  multam  potare  salutemf. 

The  only  health  to  people  hail  and  sound, 
Is  to  have  many  a  tipling  health  go  round. 

And  that  this  is  true,  witness  the  great  Hip- 
pocrates, who  says, 

That  what  to  health  conduceth  best. 
Is  fuddling  once  a  month  at  least$. 

*  Esprit  de  Pat.  p.  51. 
f  Owen,    Ep. 

X  Qui  '1  faut  a  chaque  niois. 
Du  raoin  s'enyvrer  une   fois.     Furcteriana. 


CHAP.  IV. 

That  old  People  ought  to  get  drunk  sometimes. 


w 


INE  taken  with  some  excess  is  excellent 
for  old  people. 


JJbi  jam  validis  quassatum  est  viribus  cevi 

Corpus  &  obtusis  ceciderunt  viribus  Artus*. 

When  shaken  by  the  powerful  force  of  age 
The  Body  languid  grows,  and  ev'ry  joynt 
Its  proper  juice  exhal'd,  all  feeble  droops. 

And  is  not  the  reason  plain?  Because  it  moist- 
ens their  dry  temperament,  and  nourishes  their 
radical  moisture.  Hence  came  the  proverb, 
which  says,  that  Wine  is  the  Milk  of  old  Men§. 
Tirellus,  in  his  history,  declares  the  same  thing, 
when  he  says  that  wine  is  the  Nutriment  of  na- 
tural heat||.  Conformably  to  this  truth  that 
old  man  acted,  of  whom  Seneca  makes  mention, 
who  being  pressed  to  drink  wine  cooled  in  snoAv, 
said,  that  his  age  made  him  cold  enough,  and 
that  he  did  not  desire  to  be  more  cold  than  he 


*  Lucret    Lib.  3. 

§  Vinum  lac  Senum. 

||  Vina  ealidi  innati  pabula. 


32     THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS 

was*.     Than  which,  certainly  no  answer  could 
be  more  just  and  true. 

Besides,  the  infirmities  of  an  advanced  age  re- 
quire some  consolation  and  diversion.  Let  us  see 
what  Montaigne  says,  who  was  not  much  given 
to  tippling;  for  he  plainly  says,  that  his  Gout 
and  complexion  were  greater  enemies  to  drun- 
kenness than  his  discourse.  His  words  are 
these:  "  The  inconveniencies  attending  old  age, 
which  stand  in  need  of  some  support  and  re- 
freshment, might  with  reason  produce  in  me 
a  desire  of  this  faculty,  since  it  is,  as  it  were, 
the  last  pleasure  that  the  course  of  years  steals 
from  us.  The  natural  heat,  say  the  boon  com- 
panions, begins  first  at  the  feet,  this  is  the 
case  of  infancy;  thence  it  ascends  to  the  mid- 
dle region,  where  it  continues  a  long  while, 
and  there  produces,  in  my  mind,  the  only  true 
pleasures  of  the  corporal  life ;  at  last  exhaling 
itself  like  a  vapour,  it  moves  upwards,  till  it 
comes  to  the  throat,  and  there  it  makes  its 
last  little  stayf. ' ' 
Athenoeus,  after  Theophrastes,  says,  that  wine 
drives  away  those  irksome  inquietudes  to  which 
old  people  are  unhappily  subject§.  And  to 
conclude,  the  divine  Plato  assures  us,  that ' '  AVine 
"is  a   medicine   as   well   for  the  body   as   the 

*  j*Etas  meo  frigore  contenta  est. 
f  Essays,  lib.  2,  cap.  2. 
§  Lib.  11,  cap.  7. 


THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS      33 

mind,  the  dryness  of  old  people  having  great 
occasion  for  this  kind  of  moistening,  and  their 
severe  genius  of  the  brisk  gaiety  inspired  by 
Wine,  without  which  they  would  not  be  able 
to  perform  their  part  in  the  concert,  and  con- 
sequently would  be  no  longer  useful  members 
in  the  commonwealth,  which  is  no  other  ways 
supported  and  preserved  than  by  harmony." 


CHAP.  V. 
That  Wine  creates  Wit. 

AS  wine  increases  the  quantity  of  animal  spi- 
rits, by  the  fumes  which  it  sends  to  the 
brain,  it  is  easy  to  comprehend  that  it  cannot 
but  be  of  great  advantage  to  dull  and  heavy 
wits;  so  that  one  may  particularly  apply  to 
them  the  common  proverb,  Wine  sets  an  edge  to 
Wit*.  And  the  emblem  of  Adr.  Junius,  in 
which  he  represents  Bacchus  as  a  youth  with 
wings  on,  and  Math  this  inscription,  Wine  kindles 
Wit\,  agrees  admirably  well  with  these  people: 
but  the  application  of  both  proverb  and  emblem 
is  no  less  just  in  relation  to  all  the  world;  for 
it  is  most  certain,  that  the  God  Bacchus,  by 
warming  the  thoughts,  renders  them  more  acute, 
and  inspires  a  greater  plenty  of  witty  sallies. 
For,  "Bacchus  had  not  the  name  of  Lysian,  or 
' '  Opener  if  I  may  use  the  term,  bestowed  upon 
"  him  for  nothing  but  purely  because  he  opens 
41  the  mind  by  putting  it  into  an  agreeable  hu- 
44  mour,  and  renders  it  more  subtile  and  judi- 
"  cious$."     For  this  reason  it  is  grown  into  a 


*  Vinum  acuit  Ingenium. 
f  Vinum  ingenii  fomes. 
$  Hist.  des.  7.  sag.  p,  123. 


THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS      35 

proverb,   that   water-drinkers   are   not   near   so 
knowing  as  those  who  drink  wine*. 

Plutarch  assures  us,  that  wine  collects  and 
increases  the  powers  of  the  mind.  He  observes 
also,  that  it  produces  excellent  effects  on  the 
minds  of  persons  who,  though  naturally  timid, 
want  no  penetration.  Plato  maintains,  as  I 
have  observed  in  the  foregoing  Chapter,  that 
wine  warms  as  well  the  mind  as  the  body. — 
Monsieur  Hofman  says  a  great  deal  more,  viz. 
"  That  experience  proves  that  those  climates 
"  which  produce  good  wine,  produce  also  peo- 
"  pie  that  have  infinitely  more  wit  than  those 
"  of  the  north,  who  drink  nothing  but  beer. 
"  Gryllus  believes  that  the  Greeks  were  called 
"  Fathers  of  wisdom,  on  account  of  the  excel- 
"  lency  of  their  wine;  and  that  they  lost  their 
"  ancient  lustre  by  reason  of  the  Turks  rooting 
"  out  their  Vines.  The  Heathens  placed  Pal- 
"  las  and  Bacchus  in  the  same  temple,  to  shew 
"  that  wine  increased  their  wisdom,  and  that 
"  the  Gods  were  represented  wiser  than  Men 
"  only  because  they  drank  nectar  and  ambrosia." 

In  respect  of  Poets  the  world  was  always  so 
sensible  of  the  necessity  they  lay  under,  of 
having  their  imagination  rouzed  by  wine,  that 
nobody  had  ever  any  good  opinion  of  the  pro- 


*  Non   idem   sapere   possunt   qui   aquam   &  qui  vinum 
bibunt. 


36      THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS 

ductions  of  a  Poet  that  drank  water,  that  Non 
est  Dythyrambus  si  aquam  bib  at ;  and  wine  was 
called  the  Poet's  great  Horse.  "There  never 
"  were  any  excellent  Poets,"  says  Mr.  Bayle, 
"  that  could  versify,  till  after  drinking  pretty 
"  plentifully*." 

And  if  we  believe  Plato,  "He  could  never 
"  open  the  gates  of  poesy  till  he  was  a  little 
"  beyond  himself.  The  soul  can  speak  nothing 
"  grand,  or  above  the  common,  if  it  be  not 
"  somewhat   agitatedf." 

HoraceX,  who  knew  by  experience  this  truth, 
goes  yet  farther. 

Nulla  placere  diu,  nee  vivere  carmina  possint, 
Quce  scribuntur  aquae  potoribus. 

Poor  water-drinkers  sing  an  irksome  tune, 
Short  liv'd  their  numbers,  and  their  airs  jejune. 

Ovid  bewailed  himself  very  bitterly  for  want 
of  wine  in  his  exile. 

"  Impetus  ille  sacer,  qui  vatum  pectora  nutrit 
"  Qui  prius  in  nobis  esse  solebat,  abest. 


*  Eesp.  aiix  Quest,  d'un  Prov.  T.  1,  ch.  12. 

f  Sive  Platoni  credimus,  frustra  Poetices  fores  compos 
sui  pepulit.  Non  potest  grande  aliquid  &  supra  ceteros 
loqui  nisi  mota  mens. 

t  1  Ep.  19.  3. 


THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS     37 

That  sacred  rage  that  feeds  a  Poet's  breast, 
Common  to  me,  is  now  no  more  possess 'd. 

La  Motte*,  my  beloved  French  Man,  has 
something  not  unlike  it. 

"  Loin  une  raison  trop  timide 
"  Les  f voids  Poetes  qu'elle  guide 

"  Languissent  &  tombent  souvent. 
"Venez  yvresse  temerarie, 
"  Transports  ignores  du  vulgarie 

"  Tels  que  vous  m'agitiez  vivant." 

Away  too  fearful  reason,  haste,  begone, 
Those  frozen  Poets  whom  thy  phantoms  guide, 

Languish,  and  often  feebly  slide, 
Down  to  the  lowest  ebb  of  wretehless  song, 
Insipid  notes  and  lifeless  numbers  sing. 
0  come,  sweet  Drunkenness,  thou  heady  thing, 
With  transports  to  the  vulgar  herd  unknown, 
Which  agitates  my  soul,  and  gives  it  wing. 
With  kind  enthusiasms  then  ecstatic  grown, 
It  takes  its  usual  nights,  sublimely  soars, 
Spurns  the  dull  globe  below,  and  endless  worlds 

explores. 

One  may  very  well  apply  to  Bacchus,  what 
the  same  gentleman  says  of  the  Graces  in  this 
odef. 

*  La  Motte,  Ode  Pind.  1. 
f  Ode  2,  Pindar. 


38      THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS 

"  Tout  fleurit  par  vous  au  Parnasse, 
"Apollon  languit,  &  nous  glace, 

"  Sitot  que  vous  I'avez  quitte, 
"  Mieux  que  les  traits  les  phis  sublimes 
.  "  Vous  allez  verser  sur  mes  Rimes 

"  Le  Don  de  I'immortalite." 

The  sprightly  influence  you  shed, 
Bright   Constellation !   makes   Parnassus  gay. 

Apollo  droops  and  hangs  his  head, 
His  frozen  fingers  know  not  how  to  play; 
And  we  his  sons  the  sad  distemper  find, 
Which  chills  the  fancy  and  benumbs  the  mind 
When  cruel  you  withdraw  your  magick  ray 

You  finely  paint  on  ev'ry  rhyme 

Features  most  noble  and  sublime. 

Resplendent  all  the  images, 

In  rich  immortal  draperies. 
You  give  me  colours  that  can  never  die, 
But  baffle  time,  and  live  through  all  eternity. 

It  is  to  wine  we  owe  the  productions  of  Es- 
chylus  and  Anacreon,  whose  Muses  were  very 
chilly  till  Bacchus  warmed  them.  Aurelius,  the 
Sophist,  composed  his  best  declamations  in  his 
cups.  Herodes,  called  Saginatus  Orator,  the 
fattened  orator,  never  talked  better  than  after 
drinking  pretty  plentifully.  And,  according  to 
Horace,  this  was  the  case  with  Ennius. 


THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS     39 

"  Ennius  ipse  pater  nunquam   nisi    pot  us    ad 

Arma 
"  Prosiluit  dicenda *. 

Ennius  himself  ne'er  sung  of  arms, 
Martial  exploits  and  War's  Alarms, 
Till  the  good  father's  face  did  shine, 
Enrich 'd  with  ruby  beams  of  Wine. 

Alccbus,  the  famous  Poet,  never  sat  down  to 
compose  tragedy  till  he  was  tipsy.  The  disci- 
ples of  the  great  Paracelsus  took  the  opportu- 
nity, when  he  was  fuddled,  to  make  him  dictate. 
The  venerable  Messire  Francis  Rabelais,  com- 
posed over  the  bottle  the  Acts  and  Gests  of  Gar- 
gantua,  and  his  Son  Pantagruel,  a  work  which 
gained  him  such  great  reputation.  "  Pontius 
"  de  Thiard,  Bishop  of  Chalons  sur  Saone,  had 
"  greater  obligations  to  Bacchus  than  Apollo  for 
"  his  good  verses;  who,  not  reckoning  what 
"  wine  he  drank  all  day  long,  never  slept  with- 
"  out  drinking  a  pretty  large  bottlef. "  So  true 
is  it,  that 

"  A  la  Fontaine  ou  s'enyvre  Boileau 
"  Le  grand  Corneille  &  le  sacre  troupeau 
"  De  ces  Auteurs  que  Von  ne  trouve  guere 
"  Un  bon  Eimeur  doit  boir  a  pleine  eguyere, 


*  1  Ep.  19.  7. 

f  Menagiana,  T,  1,  p.  384. 


40     THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS 

"  S'il  vent   donner  un   bon   tour  an  ron- 
deau*." 

At  that  rich  fountain  where  the  great  Boileau, 
Comeille,  Racine,  to  whom  so  much  we  owe, 
Th'  immortal  Dry  den,  and  the  sacred  band 
Of  those  bright  Authors,  whom  we  cannot  find, 
Whose   names    (so  does  oblivion's  power  com- 
mand) 
Alas,  we  no  where  know, 
Supp'd  largely  to  inebriate  their  Mind. 
Here  a  good  versifier,  fond  of  rhime, 
Should  swill,  to  make  his  jingling  couplets  chime. 

From     hence,     good-natur'd    B d,     arose 

your   flame, 
Hence  your  inimitable  numbers  came, 
When  you  so  prais'd  his  house  and  Bucking- 
ham. 

And  certainly  Cicero  was  much  in  the  wrong, 
when  he  said,  that  "what  people  do  when  they 
"  are  drunk,  is  not  done  with  the  same  appro- 
"  bation  as  if  they  were  sober;  they  hesitate, 
"  and  oftentimes  recall  themselves,  and  frame  a 
"  weaker  judgment  of  what  they  seef."     But 


*  Menagiana,  T,  1,  p.  189. 

f  Ne  vinolenti  quidem  quae  faciunt  qua'  sobrii,  hesitant, 
revotiant  se  interdum,  usque  quae  videntur,  imbecillius  as- 
sentiuntur,  Acad.  Quest,  lib.  4. 


THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS     41 

had  he  consulted  experience,  he  would  have 
found  that  drunkenness,  far  from  making  peo- 
ple fearful,  inspires  them  with  boldness  and  te- 
merity. 


CHAP.   VI. 

That  Wine  makes  one  Eloquent. 

WHAT  wretch  so  dull,  but  eloquent  must 
grow, 
When  the  full  Goblets  with  persuasive  wine, 
Inebriate  with  bright  eloquence  divine  ? 

Fcecundi  calices  quern  non  fecere  disertumf 

Let  us  make  a  few  commentaries  on  this 
verse  of  Horace. 

We  read,  that  "the  Sages  of  Portugal  hav- 
"  ing  undertaken  to  convert  those  of  Melinda, 
' '  gained  as  much  upon  them  by  wine  as  by  rea- 
"  son,  which,  in  the  end,  facilitated  the  con- 
"  quest  of  the  whole  country.* 

To  draw  a  consequence  from  this,  we  say, 
that  one  must  reasonably  believe,  that  wine  gave 
those  Sages  an  eloquence  necessary  to  convert 
the  people  of  Melinda,  and  them  a  necessary 
penetration  to  discover  the  truth  through  the 
thick  veils  of  their  ignorance. 

Books  of  Travels  further  inform  us,  that 
"  the  Priests  of  the  kingdom  of  Tibet,  whom 
"  they  call   Lamas,  drink  a  good  quantity  of 


*  Rem.  sur  Eabel,  T,  1  lib.  1.  cap.  5. 


THE  PRAISE  OP  DRUNKENNESS     43 

"  wine  on  their  days  of  fasting  and  devotion, 
"  that  they  may  have,  to  use  their  own  words, 
"  the  tongue  prompt,  and  ready  to  say  their 
"  Orisons.* 

According  to  this  doctrine,  Palingenius  was 
much  in  the  wrong  to  say,  that  wine  makes  all 
Chureh-men  uncapable  to  perform  the  duties  of 
their  function. 

Nee  bene  tractabit  vinosus  sacra  saeerdos.f 

No  Priest,  who  tipples  wine  that's  good, 
Will  do  his  duty  as  he  shou'd. 

Surely  our  author  never  conversed  much  with 
Religious.  The  Friers  would  have  told  him, 
they  never  perform  their  Office  without  taking  a 
Choice  Cup.  Expert o  crede  Roberto,  as  the  say- 
ing is.  There's  no  false  Latin  in  this,  says  a  good 
Monk  to  me  once  upon  a  time,  drawing  from 
under  his  Cassock  a  double  Flask.  You  are 
much  in  the  right  on't  Brother  Peter,  said  I, 
I  believe  as  the  Church  believes,  and  so— my 
service  to  you,  and  here's  to  the  pious  memory 
of  St.  Boniface.  And,  indeed,  the  vehicle 
proved  capaciously  orthodox. 

In  relation  to  what  hath  been  said,  I  shall 
add  a  remark  of  the  famous  M.  Bayle.     "  It 


*  Divers,   cur. 
fLib.  3.  p.  m.  43. 


44     THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS 

"  cannot  be  denied,  says  he,  that  the  Chris- 
' '  tians  of  Europe  are  subject  to  two  great  vices, 
"  Drunkenness  and  Lewdness.  The  first  of 
'  these  reigns  in  cold  Countries,  the  other  in 
"  hot.  Bacchus  and  Venus  share  these  two 
"  Climates  between  them.  We  find  that  the 
"  Reformation  having  divided  this  portion  of 
"  Christianity,  that  part  which  was  subject  to 
"  Venus,  continues  as  it  was,  but  the  greatest 
"  part  of  what  was  subject  to  Bacchus  has  re- 
"  nounced  Popery.* 

But  you  will  say,  what  coherence  has  this 
remark  with  the  matter  in  question?  Have  a 
little  patience  and  you  shall  presently  see  the 
application.  I  say  then,  that  a  thorough  true 
blue  hearty  Protestant,  would  conclude  from 
this  question,  that  wine  bestowed  so  much 
eloquence  and  penetration  to  these  northern 
people,  as  to  put  them  into  that  happy  state, 
to  discover  the  truth,  and  conquer  all  prejudi- 
ces against  it  whatsoever.    But  of  this  enough. 

Von,  pon;  pat  a  pon:  tara  vara,  pon  pon.\ 


*  Bayle  Diet.  T.  2.  p.  1163. 
f  Racine. 


CHAP.  VII. 

That    Wine    acquires    Friends,    and    reconciles 
Enemies. 

FRIENDSHIP  is  a  good  so  precious  and 
valuable,  and  at  the  same  time  so  very 
rare,  that  one  cannot  take  too  much  care  in 
order  to  procure  it.  The  most  efficacious  means 
to  do  this  is  feasting.  It  is  by  eating  and  drink- 
ing together  that  conversation  becomes  more 
easy  and  familiar ;  to  use  the  words  of  Monsieur 
de  la  Mothe  le  vayer,  "  We  hold,  that  Table 
"  Communion  unites  peoples  very  souls,  and 
"  causes  the  strictest  friendships."  JJnde  Phi- 
lotetius  Crater*  And,  in  reality,  can  any 
thing  be  more  agreeable  and  engaging,  than 
to  take  a  friendly  bottle  in  pleasant  and  delight- 
ful company? 

And  therefore,  Cleomedes  had  great  reason 
to  say,  "  take  away  the  pleasures  of  the  table, 
"  where  we  open  ourselves  so  agreeably  to  each 
"  other,  and  you  rob  us  of  the  sweetest  cordial 
"  of  human  life,  "f  This  was  also  the  Senti- 
ment of  Cicero,  in  his  book  of  old  age;  of 
Aristotle,  in   his  Ethics;   and  Plutarch,  in  his 


*Dial.   2.   d'Or,   Tuber,   p.   m.   118. 
fHist.   7  Sap. 


46      THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS 

Questions.  Let  who  will,  then,  look  on  tren- 
cher friends  to  be  false,  and  say  with  those  of 
whom  Ovid  makes  mention, 

Dum  fueris  felix  multos  numerabis  amicos 
Tempora  si  fuerint  nubila,  solus  ens. 

In  happy  times,  while  riches  round  you  flow, 
A  thousand  friends  their  obligations  own, 
But  when  loud  adverse  winds  begin  to  blow, 
And  darksome  clouds  appear,  you're  left  alone. 

Daily  experience  teaches  us,  That  one  of  the 
best  means  to  push  one's  fortune  is,  often  to  re- 
gale with  those  who  are  in  credit;  for,  to  one 
that  may  have  ruined  himself  by  so  doing,  ten 
have  made  their  fortunes.  We  may  therefore 
say  of  entertainments,  that, 

Hcec  res  &  jungit,  cf?  junctos  servat  amicos. 

These  unite  friends  and  strictly  keep  them  so. 

But  what  is  more,  wine  does  the  office  of  a 
mediator  between  Enemies.  Of  which  truth  I 
shall  instance  two  Illustrious  examples,  M.  Cras- 
sus  reconciled  himself  to  Cicero  at  a  feast;  As- 
drubal  and  Scipio  did  the  same  on  the  like  occa- 
sion. And  one  may  see,  in  a  description  which 
a  very  learned  person*  has  given  of  Switzerland, 


Dan.   Eremit.   Descript.  p.   416. 


THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS     47 

that  when  the  inhabitants  of  that  country  quar- 
rel with  one  another,  and  come  to  blows,  they 
are  immediately  reconciled  by  returning  to  their 
cups,  and  no  harm  ensues  but  sitting  up  all  night 
and  amicably  getting  drunk  together.  The 
Latin  has  more  force  in  it,  which  I  shall  there- 
fore here  transcribe.  Quin  &  si  quando  vehe- 
mentius  in  se  insurgunt,  depositis  in  medium 
Armis,  pugnis  rem  manibusque  decernunt,  sed 
codem  momento  conveniunt,  iisdemque  epulis, 
iisdemque  poculis  a  quibus  surrexere  concili- 
antibus,  c&  nullo  alio  ex  contentionibus  damno, 
nisi  quod  innovata  pocula  in  noctem  ducantur. 

Tacitus  had  said  the  same  thing  long  before 
of  the  Germans. 

But  to  come  nearer.  The  Bishop  of  Bitonto, 
one  of  the  Fathers  of  the  Council  of  Trent, 
and  a  famous  Preacher,  frequently  in  his 
Sermons  exhorting  the  Germans  to  Unity,  and 
to  return  to  the  Church,  made  use  of  this 
Topic,  of  friendly  drinking,  conjuring  them 
thereto,  as  undoubtedly,  by  the  strongest,  and 
most  efficacious  Argument  he  could  make  use 
of,  by  remembering  how  merry  and  sociable 
heretofore  they  had  been  in  their  Cups. 


CHAP.  VIII. 

That    the    Custom    of  getting   Drunk   ism  most 
Ant  lent. 

AFTER  having  displayed  the  good  Quali- 
ties of  Wine  and  Drunkenness,  I  come 
now  to  shew,  that  it  is  generally  received  by 
all  the  World.  To  do  this  effectually,  I  shall 
enter  into  some  particular  detail,  and  after 
having  remarked,  en  passant,  how  the  custom 
of  Fuddling  is  very  antient,  I  shall  then  shew, 
that  the  Primitive  Christians  used  to  get  Drunk ; 
I  shall  speak  something  of  the  Tippling  of 
Church  Men  in  general,  afterwards  I  shall  take 
a  cursory  Review  of  Popes,  Saints  and  Bishops, 
then  I  shall  come  to  Kings  and  Emperors,  and 
give  a  small  Catalogue  of  these  illustrious 
Topers;  I  shall  not  forget  the  Philosophers, 
and  much  less  the  Poets,  who  loved  Drinking. 
Free  Masons,  and  other  learned  Men,  Avho 
after  having  wearied  themselves  with  important 
Studies,  have  taken  this  Diversion,  shall  also 
appear  upon  the  Stage.  After  this  I  shall 
enumerate  the  several  Nations  that  have  been, 
and  those  which  yet  are  subject  to  get  fuddled ; 
whether  they  make  use  of  Wine  for  that  pur- 
pose,   or    such    Liquors    as   produce    the    same 


THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS     49 

effect  with  Wine.  And  from  this  Enumera- 
tion I  shall  draw  some  consequences  in  favour 
of  Drunkenness. 

But  before  I  enter  into  this  detail,  I  hope 
I  shall  be  permitted  a  general  remark,  which 
is,  that  my  Readers  must  not  expect  I  should 
set  down  a  complete  List  of  all  the  several 
sorts  of  Topers  I  just  now  mention:  such 
an  exactitude  would  take  up  too  much  time. 
Much  sooner  may  one  reckon  up  what  num- 
bers die  every  Spring  by  the  Doctor;  and 
how  many  dispose  of  their  Maiden-heads  before 
Marriage. 

In  every  different  Class  you  will  find  no 
other  jolly  Drinkers,  but  such  as  I  have  met 
with  in  my  great  reading,  and  as  shall  occur  to 
my  remembrance.  Neither  shall  I  be  very 
scrupulous  in  placing  them  according  to  the 
strict  rules  of  Chronology,  but  put  them  down 
as  they  present  themselves  to  my  imagination. 

If  the  Antiquity  of  a  Custom  makes  it  always 
good  and  laudable,  certainly  Drunkenness 
can  never  deserve  sufficient  recommendation. 
Every  one  knows,  that  Noah  got  Drunk  after 
he  had  planted  the  Vine.  There  are  some 
who  pretend  to  excuse  him,  that  he  was  not 
acquainted  with  the  strength  of  Wine.  But 
to  this  it  may  very  well  be  answered,  that  it  is 
not  very  probable  so  wise  a  Man  as  Noah  should 


50      THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS 

plant  a  Vine  without  knowing  its  Nature  and 
Property.  Besides,  it  is  one  thing  to  know, 
whether  he  got  drunk  at  all;  and  another, 
whether  he  had  an  intention  to  do  so. 

But  if  we  give  any  credit  to  several  learned 
Persons,  Noah  was  not  the  first  Man  that 
got  fuddled.  Father  Frassen  maintains,  "  that 
"  People  fed  on  Flesh  before  the  Flood,  and 
"  drank  Wine.  There  is  no  likelihood,  ac- 
"  cording  to  him,  that  Men  contented  them- 
"  selves  with  drinking  Water  for  fifteen  or 
"  sixteen  hundred  years  together.  It  is  much 
"  more  credible,  that  they  prepared  a  drink 
"  more  nourishing  and  palatable.  These  first 
"  Men  of  the  World  were  indued  with  no  less 
"  share  of  Wit,  than  their  Posterity,  and, 
"  consequently,  wanted  no  industry  to  invent 
"  every  thing  that  might  contribute  to  make 
"  them  pass  their  lives  agreeably.  Jesus  Christ 
"  says,  that  in  the  Days  of  Noah,  before  the 
"  Flood,  Men  married,  and  gave  their  Chil- 
"  dren  in  Marriage.  These  people,  Father 
"  Frassen  observes,  regaled  each  other,  and 
"  made  solemn  entertainments.  Now,  who 
"  can  imagine,  that  they  drank  at  those  Fes- 
"  tivals,  nothing  but  Water,  and  fed  only  on 
"  Fruits  and  Herbs!  Noah,  therefore,  was 
"  not  the  inventor  of  that  use  which  we  make 


THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS      51 

"  of  the  Grape;  the  most  that  he  did,  was 
"  only  to  plant  new  Vines*". 

This  good  Father  was  not  singular  in  his 
opinion,  another  very  learned  person  also  be- 
lieved, that  from  the  passage  of  Scripture 
above  cited,  one  might  draw  a  very  probable 
argument,  that  Men  before  the  Flood,  drank 
Wine,  and  that  too  even  to  be  drunk  f. 

As  for  Procopius  of  Gaza%,  one  of  the  most 
antient  Interpreters  of  Scripture,  he  thinks  it 
no  less  true,  that  the  Arine  was  known  in  the 
World  before  Noah's  time,  but  he  does  not 
allow,  that  the  use  of  Wine  was  known  before 
that  Patriarch,  whom  he  believes  to  be  the  In- 
ventor of  it. 


*  Disq.  Biblic.  Journ.  des  Scjavans. 
f  Jo.  Chr.  Becman.  Annal.  Hist. 
%  Tomer  de  Ebriet,  Lib.  1.  c.  3. 


CHAP.  IX. 

That  the  Primitive  Christians  got  Drunk. 

THERE   is  no  one  that  has  ever  so   little 
dipped    into    Ecclesiastical    History,    but 
knows  very  well,  that  in  the  Primitive  Church 
it  was  a  custom  to  appoint  solemn  Feasts  on 
the  Festivals  of  Martyrs.     This  appears  by  the 
Harangue  of  Constantine,  and  from  the  Works 
of  St.  Gregory  Nazianzen,  and  St.  Chrysostom. 
People  generally  got  drunk  at    these    Feasts; 
and  this  excess  was  looked  upon  as  a  thing  that 
might    be    permitted.     This    evidently    appears 
by  the  pathetic  complaints  of  St.  Augustin  and 
St.  Cyprian:  the  former  of  these  Holy  Fathers, 
expresses  himself  after  this  manner.— "Drunken 
'  Debauches  pass  as  permitted  amongst  us,  so 
"  that  People   turn   them   into  solemn  Feasts, 
'  to  honour  the  Memory  of  the  Martyrs;  and 
'  that,  not  only  on  those  Days  which  are  par- 
"  ticularly  consecrated  to   them    (which  would 
"be  a  deplorable  abuse  to  those  who  look  at 
"  these  things  with  other  Eyes  than  those  of 
"  the  Flesh),  but  on  every  day  of  the  year*. 

St.  Cyprian,  in  a  treatise  attributed  to  him, 
says   much   the   same    Thing.      "  Drunkenness, 

*Ep.  22. 


THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS     53 

"  says  he,  is  so  common  with  us  in  Africa, 
"  that  it  scarce  passes  for  a  Crime.  And  do 
"  we  not  see  Christians  forcing  one  another  to 
"  get  Drunk,  to  celebrate  the  Memory  of  the 
"  Martyrs*. 

But  it  was  not  only  at  these  Repasts  that  the 
Christians  got  Drunk,  they  did  the  same  on 
several  other  occasions;  and  'twas  on  this  ac- 
count that  St.  Augustin,  wrote  to  his  dear 
Alipius  in  these  terms.  "  However  the  cor- 
"  ruption  of  manners,  and  the  unhappiness  of 
"  the  times,  have  induced  us  to  wish,  I  do 
"  not  say  that  people  should  not  get  drunk  in 
"  particular  houses,  but  that  they  should  not 
"  get  drunk  any  where  elsef. 

Cardinal  du  Perron  tells  us,  "that  the 
"  Manichceans  said,  that  the  Catholicks  were 
"  people  much  given  to  Wine,  but  that  they 
"  never  drank  any4 

Against  this  charge,  St.  Augustin  no  other- 
wise defends  them,  than  by  recrimination.  He 
answers,  "  That  it  was  true,  but  that  they  (the 
"  Manichceans)  drank  the  juice  of  apples,  which 
"  was  more  delicious  than  all  the  wines  and 
"  liquors  in  the  world.  And  so  does  Teriullian, 
"  which  liquor  pressed  from  apples,    he    says, 


*  Pamel,  p.  416. 

fEp.  29. 

|  Perron,  p.  64. 


54     THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS 

' '  was  most  strong  and  vinous. ' '  His  words  are, 
Succum  ex  pomis  vino  sis  simum* . 

Here  one  may  observe  also,  that  the  use  of 
cyder  was  very  primitive  and  ancient,  but  as 
strong  and  delicious  as  it  was,  the  Catholicks 
stuck  close  to  the  juice  of  the  grape,  as  what 
was  intirely  orthodox  and  no  wise  conversant 
with  the  Hercticks  of  those  days. 

But  to  return  to  these  feasts  just  now  men- 
tioned, it  is  certain,  that  it  was  not  only  custo- 
mary for  the  Christians  of  Africa  to  get  drunk. 
They  had  this  custom  in  common  with  the  chris- 
tians of  Italy,  where  these  kinds  of  repasts  were 
forbidden  by  the  Council  of  Laodicea,  which 
was  held  in  the  4th  Century.  Paulinus,  how- 
ever (and  I  do  not  wonder  at  it,  being  a  Poet) 
has  endeavoured  to  excuse  the  Christians,  on 
pretence  that  they  only  got  drunk  out  of  a  good 
intention,  which,  say  the  casuists,  judges  all  hu- 
man actionsf .     His  words  are, 

"  Ignoscenda    tamen    puto    talia    parvis 

"  Gaudia  qua  ducunt  epulis,  quia  mentions 

Error 
"  Irrepit  rudibus,  nee  tantce  conscia  culpa 
"  Simplicitas  pietate  cadit,  male  credula  sanc- 

tos 
"  Perfusis  halanto  mero  gaudere  sepulcliris." 


*  Ibid. 

f  Quicquid  agunt  homines  intentio  judieat  omne. 


THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS      55 

But  yet  that  Mirth  in  little  Feasts  enjoy 'd, 

I  think  should  ready  absolution  find; 
Slight  Peccadillo  of  an  erring  Mind, 

Artless  and  rude,  of  all  disguises  void, 
Their  simple  hearts  too  easy  to  believe 

(Conscious    of    nothing    ill)    that    Saints    in 
Tombs 
Enshrine 'd,  shou'd  any  happiness  perceive 
From    quaffing    cups,     and    wine    ascending 
Fumes, 
Must  be  excus'd,   since    what    they    did    they 
meant, 
With  Piety  ill  placed,  yet  good  Intent. 


CHAP.  X. 

Of  Church  Men. 

IF  one  formed  a  judgment  of  the  manner  of 
Church  Mens  lives,  by  their  discourses, 
certainly  one  would  take  them  for  models  of 
sobriety.  But  there  is  a  great  deal  of  difference 
between  preaching  and  practising.  This  dis- 
tinction is  very  solid,  and  daily  experience  con- 
firms it.  And  if  those  Gentlemen  would  do 
themselves  justice,  how  many  amongst  them 
might  say  in  particular; 

Alas !  how  can  I  ever  dare  pretend, 

From  man  this  antient  error  to  remove, 
Which  they,  ev'n  to  distraction,  fondly  love: 

If  I,  who  blame  it,  with  such  pain  defend 
Myself  from  this   contagious  malady, 

This  epidemic  poison  of  the  mind. 
Weak  reason,   feeble  thing,  of  which  mankind 

So  boasts,  this  only  we  can  build  on  thee, 
Unjust  continuing  still,  and  false  and  vain, 
In  our  discourses  loudly  we  complain 
Against  the  passions,  weakness,  vice,  and  yet 
Those  things  we  still  cry  down,  we  still  commit 

One   cannot,    therefore,    without   indignation, 
hear  Church  Men  declaim  against  Drunkenness, 


THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS      57 

while  they  themselves  are  such  ruddy  examples 
of  it, 

Quis  tulerit  Gracchos  de  seditione  qucerentes* 

With    patience    who    can    hear    West-Country 

Cudden 
Rail    against    roasted    beef    and    good    plumb 

pudden  ? 

If  the  law  of  prescription  take  place,  one 
cannot  dispute  with  them,  that  of  fuddling  with 
any  colour  of  reason,  for  in  St.  Jerom's  time, 
the  Priests  were  very  much  given  to  wine.  This 
we  learn  from  an  Epistle  of  that  Father,  in 
which  he  very  severely  reprehends  them.  They 
have  been  no  changelings  since.  We  read  in 
the  Adages  of  Erasmus,  that  it  was  a  proverb 
amongst  the  Germans,  that  the  Lives  of  the 
Monks  consisted  in  nothing  but  eating,  drink- 
ing, and  Monachorum  nunc  nihil  aliud 

est  quam  facere,  esse,  bibere.  Besides,  a  vast 
number  of  Councils,  who  made  most  severe 
Canons  against  Priests  that  should  get  drunk, 
evidently  shew,  that  they  used  frequently  to  do 
so.  Such  were  the  Councils  of  Carthage, 
Agathon,  the  first  of  Tours,  that  of  Worms, 
Treves,  &c.  To  make  this  more  clear,  we  shall 
copy  a  little  of  what  H.  Stephens  says  on  this 

*  Juvenal. 


58      THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS 

subject,  in  his  Apology  for  Herodotus.  "  But 
"  to  return,  says  he,  to  these  Proverbs,  Theolo- 
"  gal  Wine,  and  the  Abbots,  or  Prelates  Table, 
"  I  say,  that  without  these,  one  could  never 
"  rightly  understand  this  beautiful  passage  of 
"  Horace,  viz. 

"  Nunc  est  bibendum,  nunc  pede  libero 
"  Pulsanda  tellus:  Nunc  saliaribus 
11  Ornare  pulvinar  Deorum 
"  Tempus  erit  dapibus  sodales. 

"  Come  boys,  let's  put  the  flowing  goblet  round, 
"  Drink  hard,  and  with  brisk  measures  beat  the 

"  ground. 
"  The  tables  of  the  gods  now  bright  shall  shine 
"  With    cheer    luxurious,    fit    for    mouths    of 

"  Priests, 
"  When  holy  Epicures  become  your  guests, 
"  And  venerably  quaff  large  cups  of  wine. 

Nor  this  other, 

"  Absumet  hares  ccecuba  dignior 
"  Servata  centum  clavibus:  &  mero 
"  Tinget  pavimentum  superbo 
"  Pontificum  potiore  ccenis. 

"  A  worthier  heir  shall  then  with  joy  unbind 
"  Cascubian,  by  an  hundred  locks  confin'd 
"  And  tinge  with  better  wines  the  ground, 
"  Than  e'er  at  feasts  Pontifical  are  found. 


THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS      59 

"  You  see  how  necessary  these  proverbs  are, 
' '  to  let  us  into  the  true  understanding:  of  these 
11  two  passages  of  this  Poet.  Here  follows, 
"  word  for  word,  what  a  certain  Gloss  says  of 
"  the  last  of  them,  mero  dicit  potiore  (meliore) 
"  ccenis  Pontificum,  quam  quo  Pontifices  in  ccenis 
"  suis,  quce  semper  sumtuosissimce  fuerunt,  wide 
"  nunc  theologicum  dicunt  vinum,  usi  sunt.  That 
' '  is,  with  better  wine  than  that  which  the  chief 
"  Priests  used  at  their  suppers,  which  were  al- 
"  ways  most  sumptuous  and  expensive,  and 
"  which  sort  of  wine  we  call  now  Theological. 

"  By  this  you  plainly  see,  how  much  attached 
"  to  Divines  and  Prelates  those  Gentlemen  are, 
"  who  make  profession  of  being  expositors  of 
"  the  poets.  But  in  relation  to  this  same  The- 
"  ologal,  or  Theological,  I  know  very  well  that 
"  it  is  a  great  question,  if  it  should  be  cal- 
"  led  Vinum  Theologale,  or  Vinum  Theologa- 
"  lis  per  appositionem;  for  the  wicked  Laity, 
"  some  of  them  will  have  it,  that  when  these 
"  good  men  get  Tipsey,  they  agree  no  other- 
"  wise,  than  Dogs  and  Cats.  But  I  shall  leave 
"  this  dispute  to  be  decided  by  the  readers. 
"  And  as  to  these  two  proverbs,  they  put  me 
"  in  mind  of  another,  and  that  is,  an  Abbot's 
11  Pace,  which  proverb  being  very  ancient, 
"  makes  me  believe,  that  formerly  the  Abbot's 

' '  had  their  faces  illuminated But  without 

"  going  any  farther  for  witnesses,  I  shall  con- 


60     THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS 

"  tent  myself  with  presenting  my  readers  with 
"  the  following  piece  of  antiquity,  viz. 

"  Sanctus  Dominicus  sit  nobis  semper  amicus, 
"  Cui  canimus  rostro  jugiter  precoma  nostro 
"  De  cordis  venis  siccatis  ante  lagenis. 
"Ergo  Has  laudes  si  tu  nos  pang  ere  gaudes 
"  Tempore  paschali,  fac  ne  potu  puteali 
"  Conveniat  uti  quod  si  fit  undique  muti 
"  Semper  erunt  Fratres  qui  non  curant  nisi 
ventres. 

"  0  good  Saint  Dominic,  be  ay  propitious, 

' '  "Whose  praise  we  daily  chirp  in  notes  delicious 

"  From  all  the  veins  of  all  our  hearts, 

"  Having  toss'd  up  some  double  quarts. 

"  Therefore,  if't  be  thy  true  desire, 

"  We  chaunt  thy  Lauds  at  Easter  Quire. 

"  Let  not  thy  Saintship  think  it  meet 

"  We  drink  from  well  tho'  ne'er  so  sweet, 

"  Liquor  unworthy  Priest  or  Parson, 

"  If  so,  your  Friars  will  hang  an  Arse  on, 

"  Who  nothing  mind,  I  need  not  tell  ye, 

"  Most  holy  Patron,  but  their  belly. 

"  So  used,  they'll  ev'ry  soul  be  dumb, 

' '  No  dixit  Dominus,  but Mum. 

Not  unlike  this  is  what  follows. 

"  0  Monachi,  vestri  Stomachi  sunt  amphora  Bac- 

"  chi, 
"  Vos    estis,   Beus   est    testis   teterrima  pestis! 


THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS      61 

"  0  Monks,  ye  reverend  drones,  your  Guts, 
"  Of  wine  are  but  so  many  Butts; 
"  You  are,  God  knows  (who  can  abide  ye?) 
"  Of  Plagues  the  rankest,  bona  fide! 


CHAP.  XI. 

Of  Popes,  Saints,  and  Bishops,  that  used  to  get 
Drunk. 

AFTER  having  spoken  of  the  drunkenness 
of  Church-men  in  general,  it  will  not, 
perhaps,  be  a  thing  altogether  needless,  to  put 
the  whole  in  the  clearest  light,  to  confirm  what 
has  been  said,  by  the  example  of  Popes,  Saints, 
and  Bishops,  who  have  practised  that  laudable 
custom  of  getting  drunk. 

A  little  Song,  mentioned  by  H.  Stephens,  in 
his  apology  for  Herodotus,  affords  matter  of  spe- 
culation in  relation  to  the  sobriety  of  sovereign 
Pontiffs. 

"  Le  Pope  qui  est  a  Rome 

"  Boit  du  Vin  comme  un  autre  Homme 

"  Et  de  VHypocras  aussi. 

The  Pope  at  Rome,  his  Holiness, 
Of  wine  drinks  many  a  hearty  glass, 
And  pleasant  Hypocras  also, 
As  any  other  man  I  trow. 

If  one  reads  over  the  Popes  lives,  we  shall  be 
fully  convinced,  that  these  Holy  Fathers  were 
no  enemies  to  Wine.     Alexander  the  fifth  was 


THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS      63 

a  great  drinker,  and  that  too,  of  strong:  wines, 
says  his  own  historian,  Theoderic  de  Neim.  If 
one  may  give  any  credit  to  the  letters  of  the 
king  of  Spain's  Ambassador  to  his  Master, 
Sixtus  Quintus  was  a  terrible  Drunkard.* 

And  Pope  Boniface  instituted  Indulgences 
for  those  who  should  drink  a  Cup  after  grace 
(called  since  St.  Boniface's  Cup,)  a  plain  argu- 
ment, that  his  sanctity  did  not  hate  Wine. 

This  puts  me  in  mind  of  what  I  have  former- 
ly read,  tho'  the  Author's  name  is  now  slipped 
out  of  my  memory,  that  when  Cardinal  Pigna- 
telli,  afterwards  Innocent  the  12th,  was  advanced 
to  the  Papacy,  his  name  signifying  little  Pots 
or  Mugs,  three  of  which  he  bore  for  his  Arms; 
and  whose  mother  was  of  the  house  of  Caraffa, 
which  signifies  a  Jug,  a  French  man  made  these 
lines. 

"  Nous  devons  tons  boire  en  repos. 
"  Sous  le  regne  de  ce  saint  pere 
"  Son  noms  ses  amies  sont  des  pots 
"  Une  Caraffe  etoit  sa  mere. 
"  Celebrons  done  avec  eclat 
"  Cet  august e  Pontificat. 

Under  this  Holy  Father's  reign 
Hang  sorrow,  let  us  ne'er  complain; 
I  think  all  of  us  should  turn  Sots, 

*  Thuan.  p.  447. 


64     THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS 

And  fuddle  with  one  another, 

His  name,  and  so  his  Anns,  are  Pots, 

And  a.  Gallon  Pot  was  his  Mother; 
Then  let  us  brightly  celebrate 
This  most  august  Pontificate. 

In  the  main,  this  is  nothing  but  a  little  pun- 
ning or  playing  with  words,  but  it  is  one  of  those 
agreeable  trifles  that  may  now  and  then  be 
worth  our  thinking  on. 

One  may  add  to  the  number  of  such  Popes  as 
loved  Fuddling,  all  those  who  sat  at  Avignon; 
for  if  we  believe  Petrarch*  the  long  residence 
that  the  Court  of  Rome  made  at  Avignon,  was 
only  to  taste  the  good  French  Wines;  and  that 
it  was  merely  on  that  account  they  stayed  so 
long  in  Provence,  and  removed  with  so  much  re- 
luctance. 

Let  us  now  pass  on  to  Saints  and  Bishops. 
I  shall  only  instance  one  of  each,  because  I  hate 
Prolixity.  The  first  Saint  that  presents  him- 
self to  me  is  the  renowned  St.  Augustin,  who 
himself  owns,  that  he  used  to  get  drunk  some- 
times. Crapula  autem  nonnunquam  surrepit 
servo  iuo  misereberis  ut  longe  fiat  a  me.  Thy 
Servant  has  been  sometimes  crop-sick  thro'  ex- 
cess of  wine,  have  mercy  on  me,  that  it  may  be 
ever  far  from  me.      fit  is    true,    M.     Cousin, 


*  Perron,  p.  387. 

f  Petit  Nepasnth,  p.   137. 


THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS      65 

maintains  against  my  Author,  M.  Petit,  the 
Journal  des  Sgavans,  of  the  Year  1689,  27  June, 
that  St.  Augustin,  however,  never  got  drunk. 
The  arguments  on  both  sides  you  may  find  in 
Bayle's  Dictionary,  under  the  Article  Augustin. 
But  yet  there  are  somewhere  in  St.  Augustin 
these  words,  viz.  My  soul  certainly  being  a  spi- 
rit cannot  dwell  in  a  dry  place.  Anima  mea 
certe  quia  Spiritus  est,  in  sicco  habitai-e  non 
potest. 

I  shall  make  no  comment  upon  these  words, 
only  insert  one  already  made,  which  I  take  from 
M.  Duchat  in  his    remarks    on    Rabelais*.     On 
these  words  of  Saint  Augustin,  says  he,  men- 
tioned in  the  second  part  of  the  Decretals,  cans. 
32.   q.   2.   c.  9.  the   Commentator  says,   "  And 
'  this  is  an  Argument  for  the  Normans,  English, 
'  and  Poles,  that  they  may  drink  largely,  that 
'  the  soul  may  not  live  in  the  dry.    Et  est  Ar- 
'  gumentum  pro  Normannis,  Anglicis,  &  Polo- 
'  nis  ut  possint  fortiter  bibere,  ne  anima  habitet 
1  in  sieco."  To  which  Peter  Chatelain,  a  Flemish 
Physician,  made  this  pleasant  addition,  "It  is 
'  very  probable  that  the  Commentator  was  an 
'  entire  stranger  to  the  nature  of  the  Flemings, 
1  Verisimile  est  glossatoren  ignorasse  Naturam 
1  Belgarum." 
And,  perhaps,  this  Argument  from  St.  Augus- 

*Liv.   1,  eh.  5. 


66     THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS 

tin's  words,  is  as  just  as  one  of  a  merry  Fellow 
I  knew,  who  would  prove,  from  St.  Paul's  go- 
ing to  the  Three  Taverns*,  that  he  loved  a 
hearty  Bottle. 

Amongst  the  Bishops,  I  cannot  Instance  a 
more  illustrious  example  of  a  great  drinker,  than 
that  of  Pontus  de  Thiard.  We  are  toldf,  ' '  That 
this  Gentleman,  after  having  repented  of  the 
sins  of  his  youth,  came  to  be  Bishop  of  Cha- 
lons sur  Soane;  but,  however,  he  did  not  re- 
nounce the  power  of  drinking  heartily,  which 
seemed  then  inseparable  from  the  quality  of 
a  good  poet.  He  had  a  Stomach  big  enough 
to  empty  the  largest  Cellar;  and  the  best 
wines  of  Burgundy  were  too  gross  for  the  sub- 
tility  of  the  fire  which  devoured  him.  Every 
night  at  going  to  bed,  besides  the  ordinary 
doses  of  the  day,  in  which  he  would  not  suffer 
the  least  drop  of  water,  he  used  to  drink  a 
pottle  before  he  slept.  He  enjoyed  a  strong, 
robust,  and  vigorous  health,  to  the  age  of 
fourscore." 


*  Acts  cap.  28.  v.  15. 

f  Eep.  des  Lett.  Febr.  1687.  Art.  7- 


CHAP.  XII. 
A  Catalogue  of  some  illustrious  Topers. 

SINCE  according   to    Horace's   observation, 
every  one  conforms  himself  to  the  Example 
of  the  Prince. 

"  Regis  ad  exemplum  totus  componitur  Orbis. 

And  that,  according  to  Seneca's  Maxim,  one 
must  regulate  ones  Conduct  by  illustrious  Mo- 
dels. 

"  Vita  est  instituenda  illustrious  exemplis. 

It  must  not  be  wondered  at,  that  People  so 
generally  get  drunk,  since  in  this  they  follow 
the  Examples  of  great  Kings,  amongst  whom 
are  very  few  that  this  verse  of  Ovid,  which  Guy 
Patin  applied  to  Naudceus  and  Gassendi,  agrees 
with.* 

"  Vina  fugit  gaudetque  meris  abstemius  undis. 

Flies  Wine  abstemious,  but  the  limpid  Stream 
Pure  and  unmixed  his  thirsty  Heat  subdues. 

And,   perhaps,   this    is    the    reason,   why  in 


Esprit  de  Pat.  p.  22. 


68      THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS 

Comedies  they  bestow  crowns  to  those  that  are 
drunk. 

Quid  ego  video 

P.  S.  Cum  corona  ebrium  Pseudolum  meum*. 

And  in  Amphytrion,  Mercury  says, 

Ho  inter  &  capiam  ornatum  qui  potius  decet. 

"  I'll  go  in  and  take  the  Ornament  which 
"better  becomes  me."  For  he  had  said  a  little 
before, 

Capiam  coronam  in  caput,  assimulabo  me  esse 
ebrium. 

I'll   put   a   Crown   upon   my   Head   and    feign 
myself  Drunk. 

Lipsiusf  furnished  me  with  these  Examples. 

But  I  should  never  have  done,  if  I  endea- 
voured to  give  a  List  of  all  the  Kings  that  got 
drunk. 

■'  Quorum  si  nomina  quceras 

"  Promptius    expediam    quot   amaverat  Hippia 

"  mceclws, 
"  Quot  Themison  ce.gr os  autumno  occiderat  uno.% 


*  Plautus. 

f  Ant.  Leet.  Lib.  3. 

%  Juvenal,  Satire  10,  v.  220. 


THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS     69 
Whose  Names,  if  you  require, 


With  greater  Expedition  could  I  tell, 

To  Hippia's  Lust,  how  many  prostrate  fell; 

How  many  only  in  one  Autumn  died, 

By  Doctors,  and  their  Slip-slops  ill  applied. 

I  shall  content  myself,  therefore,  to  instance 
some  of  the  most  illustrious,  as  they  come  into 
my  mind,  without  observing  any  certain  order. 

Alexander  the  Great  first  offers  himself  to  my 
imagination.  It  will  be  sufficient  to  mention  his 
name,  without  saying  any  more.  Nomen  non 
amplius  addam. 

Ccesar,  to  make  use  of  Balzac's  Words,  was 
not  always  the  sober  destroyer  of  the  Common- 
wealth, and  he  did  not  at  all  times  hate  the  plea- 
sure of  drinking. 

Cambyses  was  also  very  much  given  to  Wine, 
as  may  be  judged  by  what  I  am  going  to  say. 
This  Prince  having  been  told  by  one  of  his 
courtiers,  that  the  people  took  notice  he  got 
drunk  too  often,  taking,  some  time  after,  his 
Bow  and  Arrow,  shot  the  son  of  that  courtier 
through  the  heart,  saying  no  more  than  this  to 
the  Father.     7s  this  the  act  of  a  drunkard? 

Darius,  the  first  King  of  Persia,  had  these 
words  put  upon  his  tomb. 

Vinum  multum  bibere  potui  idque  perferre. 

I  could  drink  much  wine  and  bear  it  well. 


70     THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS 

King  Antigonus  may  come  in  here.  JElian 
reports  of  this  Prince,  that  one  day  when  he 
was  much  in  drink,  meeting  Zeno  the  Philoso- 
pher, whom  he  had  a  great  Kindness  for,  he 
kissed  him,  and  promised  to  give  him  whatever 
he  would  desire,  Zeno  only  answered  mildly, 
Go  and  ease  your  Stomach,  by  vomiting,  that's 
all  I  ask  of  you  at  present. 

Philip,  King  of  Macedon,  got  drunk  some- 
times; witness  what  a  Woman,  whom  he  had 
not  done  Justice  to,  said  to  him,  viz.  I  appeal 
from  Philip  drunk,  to  Philip  when  sober. 

*  Dionysius  the  younger,  Tyrant  of  Sicily, 
was  sometimes  drunk  for  nine  days  successively ; 
he  drank  himself  almost  blind,  and  the  Lords 
of  his  Court,  to  flatter  him,  pretended  they  them- 
selves could  scarce  see,  so  that  they  neither  eat 
nor  drank  but  what  he  reached  to  them. 

Tiberius  was  called  Biberius,  because  of  his 
excessive  attachment  to  drinking;  in  derision, 
they  changed  his  Surname  of  Nero,  into  Mero. 

Bonosus  was  a  terrible  Drinker,  if  one  may 
give  any  Credit  to  his  own  Historian,  Flavius 
Vopiscus.  He  used  to  make  Ambassadors,  that 
came  to  him  from  Foreign  Powers,  drunk,  in 
order,  by  that  means,  to  discover  their  secret 
Instructions. 


*i£lian,  Chap.  6. 


THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS      71 

*  Maximin  the  Father,  drank  very  often  a 
Pot  containing  two  Gallons.  One  might  very 
well,  therefore,  have  given  him  this  Epitaph. 

Hie  jacet  amphora  vini. 

Trajan  and  Nerva,  those  excellent  Princes, 
took  sometimes  a  pleasure  in  getting  drunk. 

Galerius  Maxim  inus,  who,  according  to 
Aurdius  Victor,  was  a  Prince  of  sweet  Temper, 
and  loved  Men  of  Probity  and  Letters,  had  a 
very  great  Passion  for  Wine,  and  frequently 
got  drunk.  Having  once  given  Orders  when 
he  was  in  this  Condition,  which  he  repented  of 
when  sober,  he  solemnly  forbad  any  one  to 
obey  such  Orders,  that  he  should  give,  when 
he  should  get  drunk  for  the  futnre. 

*  J.  Capitolin. 


CHAP.    XIII. 

Of  Philosophers  that  used  to  get  Drunk. 

THO'  the  Example  and  Authority  of  Philo- 
sophers prove  nothing,  yet  one  must  not 
imagine  with  Boileau, 


" Que  sans  Aristote, 

"  La  Raison  ne  voit  goute,  &  le  bon  sens  redote. 

That  Reason,  void  of  Aristotle's  Rule. 
Insipid  grows,  good  Sense  a  doating  Fool. 

It  is,  however,  very  true,  that  we  shall  find 
ourselves  wonderfully  disposed  to  get  fuddled, 
when  we  consider  that  those  of  Antiquity,  for 
whom  we  have  most  respect  and  veneration, 
have  made  no  manner  of  difficulty  to  get  drunk 
sometimes,  and  have  praised  Drunkenness,  not 
only  by  their  Actions,  but  Discourse.  This  I 
am  going  plainly  to  make  appear.  I  begin  with 
the  Seven  Sages  of  Greece,  who  were  acknow- 
ledged as  such  by  all  Antiquity.  These  Philo- 
sophers did  not  look  upon  Drunkenness  as  a 
Thing  incompatible  with  Virtue,  of  which  they 
made  strict  Profession.  History  tells  us,  that 
they  drank  largely  at  the  Entertainment  Peri- 
ander  the  Tyrant,  or  King  of  Corinth,  gave 
them. 


THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS     73 

Solon,  that  famous,  yet  so  rigid  Legislator 
of  the  Athenians,  composed  a  Song  in  the 
Praise  of  Wine,  in  which  he  introduced  Venus 
and  the  Muses.  Seneca  is  of  Opinion,  that  he 
was  suspected  to  be  as  much  given  to  Wine  as 
Arcesilaus.  *  And  M.  Ckevreau  observes  very 
well,  that  "  the  Wisdom  of  Solon  was  not  of 
"  such  an  Austerity,  as  to  frighten  People, 
"  when  he  said,  That  the  Ladies,  Wine,  and  the 
"  Muses,  were  the  Pleasures  of  Human  Life." 

Zeno,  whose  Philosophy  was  so  severe,  got, 
notwithstanding,  drunk  sometimes.  Being,  one 
Day  at  an  Entertainment,  he  was  asked  how  he 
came  to  be  so  joyful,  he  answered,  that  he  was 
like  Lupines,  which  were  bitter  naturally,  but 
grew  sweet  after  they  were  moistened. 

Socrates,  whom  the  Oracle  declared  the 
wisest  Man  of  Greece,  was,  in  like  manner,  a 
very  great  Drinker.  M.  Charpentier,  in  his 
life,  tells  us,  That  tho'  he  did  not  love  to 
drink,  yet  when  he  was  forced  to  it,  no  one 
could  come  up  to  him;  and,  that  he  had  this 
wonderful  Happiness,  as  not  afterwards  to  find 
himself  incommoded  by  it. 

Cato,  that  Hero  of  Stoicism,  got  drunk  some- 
times, in  order  to  relax  his  Mind,  fatigued  with 
the  Cares  of  publick  Employment.  These  are 
the  very  Words  of  Seneca,  Cato  vino  laxabat 


*  Solonem  &  Arcesilaum  credunt  idulcisse  vino. 


74     THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS 

animum  curis  publicis  fatigatum.  And  the  same 
Author  says  elsewhere,  that  "  People  reproach- 
"  ed  Cato  with  Drunkenness,  but  that  Re- 
"  proach  was  rather  an  Honour  to  him  than 
"  otherwise."  Catoni  ebrietas  objecta  est,  &  faci- 
lius  efficiet  quisquis  objecerit  honestum  quam 
turpem  Catonem.  Horace  gives  us  the  same 
Idea  of  the  great  Cato,  in  these  Words. 

"  Narratur  &  prisci  Catonis 
"  Scepe  mero  caluisse  virtus. 

Tradition  tells,  that  oftentimes  with  Wine, 
Ev'n  Cato's  Virtue  moisten 'd,  shone  Divine. 

If  one  knew  the  Scythian  Philosopher  Ana- 
charsis,  no  otherwise  than  by  his  Apothegms 
against  Wine  and  Drunkenness,  one  would 
take  him  for  the  soberest  Man  in  the  World, 
but  we  know  very  well  that  his  Theory  varied 
very  much  upon  this  Point,  and  no  way  agreed 
with  his  Practice.  One  Day  above  the  rest, 
having  got  drunk  at  an  Entertainment  given  by 
Lybis,  Brother  to  Pittacus,  he  demanded  the 
Prize  that  was  to  be  given  to  the  greatest 
Drinker.  With  which  Action,  when  he  was 
afterwards  reproached,  he  reply 'd,  "  Can  a 
"  Man  better  signalize  himself  in  Battle  than 
"  by  glorious  Wounds?  And  at  Table,  than 
"  with  that  Gaiety  you  call  Drunkenness?  Did 
"  not  Homer,  the  wisest  of  your  Poets,  make 


THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS     75 

"  not  ouly  Agamemnon  drunk,  but  Jupiter  too, 
"  and  made  Nectar  now  in  full  Goblets  at  the 
"  Table  of  the  Gods?"*  JEliarf  also  tells  us, 
that  this  Philosopher  drank  largely  at  Perian- 
der's  Feasts,  and  alledged  for  an  Excuse,  that  to 
drink  a  great  deal  was  essential  to  the  Scythians. 

Plato,  Another  Hero  of  antiquity,  not  only 
permitted,  but  commanded  that  people  should 
get  drunk  at  certain  times.  To  prove  what  I 
say,  one  has  no  more  to  do  than  to  read  his 
Laws. 

Seneca,  who  was  so  severe  a  Philosopher,  at 
least  his  religious  precepts  would  make  one  think 
him  so,  thought  it  no  harm,  now  and  then  to 
get  drunk,  and  ranges  Drunkenness  amongst 
the  means  he  prescribes  to  maintain  the  strength 
and  vigor  of  the  Mind.  I  have  quoted  what  he 
says  in  this  respect,  in  the  first  and  second  chap- 
ter of  this  work. 

The  Philosopher  Arcesilaus,  who  lived  about 
the  120th  Olympiad,  might  be  reckoned  amongst 
those  who  loved  Wine,  since  he  died  by  drinking 
too  much  of  it  unmixed.  A  greater,  and  more 
convincing  proof  of  his  sincere  love  of  the  Crea- 
ture could  not  be  given. 

For  he  that  hangs,  or  beats  out  Brains, 
The  Devil's  in  him  if  he  feigns$. 

*  Hist.  Sep.  Sap. 
-j-Lib.  2.  2. 
J  Hudibras. 


76      THE  PRAISE  OP  DRUNKENNESS 

*Xenocrates,  one  of  the  most  illustrious  Phi- 
losophers of  ancient  Greece,  and  of  a  virtue  very- 
rigid  and  severe,  got  drunk  sometimes.  JElian 
has  put  his  name  into  the  Catalogue  of  those 
who  loved  drinking,  and  could  bear  a  great  deal 
of  liquor.  Athenceus,  says  this  Philosopher, 
gained  the  Crown  of  Gold  which  the  tyrant  of 
Syracuse  had  promised  him  that  should  empty  a 
certain  measure  of  Wine.  Diogenes  Laertius 
confirms  this  last  particular.  "  He  had  more- 
"  over  acquired  such  an  empire  over  his  passi- 
' '  ons,  that  a  very  beautiful  Courtesan  (Phryne) 
"  who  had  laid  a  wager  she  could  subdue  his 
"  virtue,  lost  it,  tho'  she  had  the  liberty  to  lie 
"  with  him,  and  use  all  her  little  toyings  to  in- 
"  cite  him  to  enjoy  her."  You  see  here  (adds 
Mr.  Bayle)  a  triumph  as  remarkable  as  that  of 
St.  Aldhelme,  and  some  other  canonised  Saints, 
who  came  off  victorious  on  such  Attacks. 

■\Cicero  assures  us,  That  Stilpo  of  Megera, 
the  Philosopher,  a  man  of  much  wit  and  ability 
for  the  times  he  lived  in,  loved  Wine  as  well  as 
Women;  and,  that  his  friends  wrote  this  of 
him  in  his  praise  and  not  dishonour. 

Athenams  says,  that  the  Philosophers  Lacides 
and  Timon,  once  upon  a  time,  past  two  whole 
days  successively  in  drinking.  Mlian  puts  their 
names  into  his  Catalogue  of  hard  drinkers;  to 


*  Bayle  Diet.  Art.  Xenoc. 
f  Lib.  de  Fab. 


THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS      77 

which   he   adds   Amasis,   the   Lawgiver   of   the 
Egyptians. 

Chrysippus  the  Philosopher,  native  of  Solos, 
a  town  of  Cilicia,  or  of  Tharsus,  according  to 
others,  got  drunk  pretty  often.  It  is  said,  that 
some  of  his  disciples,  having  prevailed  upon 
him  to  come  to  a  Sacrifice,  he  drank  so  much 
pure  Wine,  that  he  died  five  days  afterwards. 
There  are  other  Authors,  however,  will  have  it, 
that  he  died  of  immoderate  Laughter,  seeing  an 
Ass  eat  figs  out  of  a  dish,  and  upon  which  he 
commanded  thev  should  ijive  him  drink. 


CHAP.    XIV. 
Of  Poets  that  used  to  get  Drnnk. 

AS  "Wine  is  the  Poets  great  horse,  so  it  must 
not  be  wondered  at,  that  the  major  part 
of  them  fuddle  their  noses;  for,  in  reality,  they 
cannot  properly  be  said  to  be  mounted  on  their 
great  horses,  till  they  have  drank  pretty  hearti- 
ly. These  gentlemen  speak  then  on  horseback, 
for  the  discourse  of  Poets  is  quite  opposite  to 
that  of  Orators,  which  Horace  says,  is  a  dis- 
course on  foot,*  but  when  they  drink  nothing, 
we  can  only  say,  that  they  are  mounted  upon. 

The  attachment  that  Homer  had  to  Wine,  ap- 
pears in  the  frequent  Eulogiums  he  gives  that  li- 
quor. And  if  we  examine  Anacreon  ever  so 
little,  we  shall  find  his  inclinations,  as  well  as 
his  verses,  were  divided  between  AVine  and 
Love.  As  much  delicacy  and  fine  turns  as  one 
finds  m  his  works,  an  honest  man  cannot  see 
without  indignation,  but  that  they  tend  absolute- 
ly to  debauch.  One  must  drink,  one  must  love. 
The  moments  that  are  not  employed  in  the  Plea- 
sures of  the  Senses  are  lost.  Pausanias  tells  us, 
that  he  saw  at  Athens  the  Statue  of  Anacreon, 
which  represented  him  drunk  and  singing. 


Sermo  pedestris. 


THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS      79 

The  Poet  Philoxenus  wished  that  he  had  a 
neck  as  long  as  a  Crane,  that  he  might  the 
longer  have  the  pleasure  of  swallowing  wine,  and 
enjoy  its  delicious  taste. 

Ion  the  Poet  of  Chios,  was  not  much  more 
sober  in  respect  of  wine,  according  to  Milan 
and  Euripides. 

Horace  must  by  no  means  be  forgotten,  whose 
satires  derive  from  the  Grape  their  sprightful- 
ness  and  gaity. 

Timocreon  of  Rhodes  a  comic  Poet  in  the 
75th  Olympiad,  was  a  great  drinker.  Athenceus 
has  given  of  him  this  epitaph. 

Multa  bibens  &  multa  vorans,  mala  plurima  di- 

cens 
Multis  hie  jaceo  Timocreon  Rhodius. 

To  these  we  may  add  Alceus  and  Ennius,  of 
whom  we  have  already  made  mention ;  but  what 
signifies  this  enumeration,  since  it  is  most  cer- 
tain, that  almost  all  the  Poets  in  the  world,  of 
all  ages,  got  drunk,  which  puts  them  under  the 
protection  of  Bacchus.  This  made  them  hereto- 
fore in  Rome,  celebrate  once  a  year,  in  the 
month  of  March,  a  festival  in  honour  to  this 
God,  with  solemn  sacrifices.  What  Ovid*  has 
said  on  this  point,  puts  the  matter  out  of  all 
doubt. 

*  Trist.  5.  3. 


80     THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS 

"  Ilia  dies  hcec  est,  qua  te  celebrare  poetce 

"  Si  modo  non  fallunt  tempora,  Bacche,  solent, 

"  Festaque  odoratis  innectunt  tempora  sertis 
"  Et  dicunt  laudes  ad  tua  vina  tuas. 

"  Inter  quos  memini,  dum  me  mea  fata  sinebant, 
"  Non  invisa  tibi  pars  ego  sepce  fui. 

This  is  the  day,  unless  the  times  are  chang'd, 

That  Poets  us'd  to  sing  in  merry  lays, 
And  with  sweet  garlands  crown 'd,  promiscuous 
rang'd 
To  thy  rich  wines,  great  Bacchus,  chaunt  thy 
praise. 
With  these  gay  chorists,  when  my  fates  were 
kind, 
Free,  unreserv'd,  to  thee,  immortal  power 
(The  pleasing  object  fresh  salutes  my  mind) 
Without  disguise,  a  part  I  often  bore. 


CHAP.    XV. 

Of  Free  Masons  and  other  learned  Men,  that 
used  to  get  Drunk. 

IF  what  Brother  Eugenius  Philalethes  Author 
of  Long  Livers,  a  book  lately  printed,  and 
dedicated  to  the  Free  Masons,  says  in  his  pre- 
face* to  that  treatise,  be  time,  those  mystical 
Gentlemen  very  well  deserve  a  place  amongst 
the  learned.  But  without  entering  into  their 
peculiar  jargon,  or  whether  a  man  be  sacri- 
legiously perjured  for  revealing  Secrets,  when 
he  has  none,  I  do  assure  my  readers,  they  are 
very  great  friends  to  the  Vintners.  An  Eye- 
witness of  this  was  I  myself,  at  their  late  general 
meeting  at  Stationer's  Hall,  who  having  learned 
some  of  their  Catechism,  passed  my  examina- 
tion, paid  my  five  shillings,  and  took  my  place 
accordingly. 

We  had  a  good  dinner,  and  to  their  eternal 
honour,  the  brotherhood  laid  about  them  very 

*  Vide  Preface,  p.  17.  1.  6.  where  are  these  words, 
viz. — Thus  shall  Princes  love  and  cherish  you  as  their 
most  faithful  Children  and  Servants,  and  take  delight  to 
commune  with  you,  in  as  much  as  amongst  you  are  found 
Men  excellent  in  all  kinds  of  Sciences,  and  who,  thereby, 
may  make  their  names,  who  love  and  cherish  you,  Im- 
mortal. 


82     THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS 

valiantly.  They  saw  then  their  high  dignity; 
they  saw  what  they  were,  acted  accordingly,  and 
shewed  themselves  (what  they  were)  Men.*  The 
Westphalia  Hams  and  Chickens,  with  good 
Plumb  Pudding,  not  forgetting  the  delicious 
Salmon,  were  plentifully  sacrificed,  with  copious 
libations  of  wine  for  the  consolation  of  the  Bro- 
therhood. But  whether,  after  a  very  disedifying 
manner  their  demolishing  huge  walls  of  Venison 
Pasty,  be  building  up  a  spiritual  house,  I  leave 
the  brother  Eugenius  Philalethes  to  determine. 
However,  I  do  them  justice,  I  must  own,  there 
was  no  mention  made  of  politics  or  religion,  so 
well  do  they  seem  to  follow  the  advice  of  that 
Author,  f  And  when  the  music  began  to  play, 
Let  the  King  enjoy  his  own  again,  they  were  im- 
mediately reprimanded  by  a  person  of  great 
gravity  and  science. 

The  Bottle,  in  the  mean  while,  went  merrily 
about,  and  the  following  healths  were  begun  by 
a  great  man,  the  King,  Prince  and  Princess, 
and  the  Royal  Family;  the  Church  as  by  law 
established;  Prosperity  to  old  England  under 
the  present  Administration;  and  Love,  Liberty, 
and  Science,  which  were  unanimously  pledged 
in  full  Bumpers,  attended  with  loud  huzzas! 

The  Faces  then  of  the  most  antient  and  most 


*  Page  6.  1.  9. 
fPage   16.  1.   19. 


THE  PRAISE  OP  DRUNKENNESS      83 

honourable  Fraternity  of  the  Free  Masons, 
brightened  with  ruddy  Fires;  their  Eyes  illu- 
minated, resplendent  blazed. 

Well  fare  ye,  merry  Hearts,  thought  I,  hail 
ye  illustrious  Topers,  if  Liberty  and  Freedom, 
ye  free  Mortals,  is  your  essential  Difference, 
richly  distinguishes  you  from  all  others,  and  is, 
indeed,  the  very  Soul  and  Spirit  of  the  Brother- 
hood, according  to  the  Brother  Eugenius  Phila- 
lethes*  I  know  not  who  may  be  your  Alma 
Mater,  but  undoubtedly  Bacchus  is  your  Liber 
Pater. 

'Tis  Wine,  ye  Masons,  makes  you  free. 
Bacchus  the  Father  is  of  Liberty. 

But  leaving  the  Free  Masons,  and  their  in- 
valuable Secrets,  for  I  know  not  what  they  are 
worth,  come  we  now  to  speak  of  other  Men  of 
Learning,  who  loved  to  indulge  their  Genius 
with  the  delicious  Juice  of  the  Grape.  And 
here  we  need  not  fly  to  Antiquity,  which  would 
swell  this  Work  into  a  large  Volume,  later  Times 
will  furnish  us  with  many  a  bright  Example. 
Non  semper  confugiamus  ad  vetera. 

A  Man  of  Learning,  after  ten  or  twelve 
Hours  daily  Study,  cannot  do  better,  than  to 
unbend  his  Mind  in  drinking  plentifully  of  the 


Page  5.  1.  12.     Page  42.  1.   13. 


84     THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS 

Creature;  and  may  not  such  a  one  say  to  him- 
self these  Verses  of  the  French  Poet. 

"  Dois-je  mal  a  propos  secher  a  faire  un  livre 
11  Et  n' avoir  pour  tout  fruit  des  peines  que  je 

jprends 
"  Que  la  haine  de  sots  &  les  mepris  des  grands* 

Why  should  I  pass  away  my  Time  in  vain, 
And  to  compose  a  Book,  dry  up  my  Brain, 
When  all  the  Recompence  I'm  like  to  find, 
For  all  the  Toil  and  Labour  of  my  Mind, 
Is  the  unthinking  silly  Ideot's  Hate, 
And  the  Contempt  and  Scorn  of  all  the  Great. 

I  must  own  I  would  have  the  indefatigable 
Labour  of  such  a  one  gain  an  immortal  Repu- 
tation after  his  Death;  but  after  all,  to  weary 
one's  self  all  one's  life  long,  with  those  Views, 
is  very  chimerical.  And  certainly,  he  that  makes 
but  little  Account  of  the  Honours  that  might 
accrue  to  him  after  his  Death,  acted  like  a  Man 
of  Sense.    Si  venit  post  fata  gloria  non  propero.\ 

Is  it  not  infinitely  better  to  divert  one's  self 
while  one  lives,  than  to  idle  all  one's  life  away 
in  poring  upon  Books?  Much  better  will  the 
following  song  become  the  mouth  of  a  man  of 
letters,  which  I  have  transcribed  out  of  the  Mer- 
cure  Galant,  of  the  year  1711,  p.  67. 


*  Oeuv.  div.  du  Sieur  D  'Espreaux,  p.  246. 
f  Martial. 


THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS     85 

"  De  ceux  qui  vivent  dans  I'Historie, 

"  Ma  fois  je  n'envierai  le  sort. 

"  N argues  du  Temple  de  Memorie 

"  Ou  Von  ne  vit  que  lorsque  Von  est  mort. 

"  J'aime  bien  mieux  vivre  pendant  ma  vie 

"Pour  boire  avec  Silvie; 

"  Car  je  sentirai 

"  Les  momens  que  je  vivrai 

"  Tant  que  je  boirai." 

Faith  I  shan't  envy  him,  whoe'er  he  be, 

That  Glorious  lives  in  History ; 

Nor  Memorie 's  rich  Fane  amuse  my  head, 

Where  no  one  lives  but  when  he's  dead. 

I  had  much  rather  while  I  life  enjoy, 

The  precious  moments  all  employ, 

With  my  lov'd  Silvia,  and  delicious  Wine, 

Both  wonderful  and  both  divine. 

For  that  I  truly  live,  and  healthy  prove, 

Is  that  I  drink,  and  that  I  love. 

This  is  exaetly  the  same  thing  that  Racan  said 
to  Maynard  in  this  Ode*. 

"  Je  sai,  Maynard,  que  les  merveilles 
"  Qui  naissent  de  tes  longues  veilles 
"  Vivront  autant  que  VUnivers; 
"  Mais  que  te  sert  il  que  ta  gloir 
11  Eclipse  au  Temple  de  Memoir e 


*  Parnass.  Franc,  p.  97. 


86      THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS 

"  Quand  tu  seras  mange  des  vers? 

"  Quitte  cette  inutile  peine, 

"  Biwons  plutot  a  long  lie  haleine 

il  Be  ce  doux  jus  delicieux, 

"  Qui  pour  V excellence  precede 

"  Le  Bruvage  que  Ganimede 

"  Verse  dans  la  coupe  des  Dieux, 

Maynard,     I   know   thy   thoughts   express 'd   in 

rhime, 
Those  wonders  of  thy  bright  immortal  pen, 
Shall  live  for  ever  in  the  minds  of  men, 
Till  vast  eternity  shall  swallow  time. 
Yet  should  thy  glories,  now  so  radiant  bright, 
In  Memory's  rare  Temple  lose  their  light; 
Suffer  eclipse,  when  to  the  worms  a  prey, 
Those  reptiles  eat  thy  poor  remains  away. 
Does  this  reflection  chagrin  thee,  my  Friend, 
Thus  to  the  useless  thought  decree  an  end? 
Drink,  and  drink  largely,  that  delicious  juice, 
The  Em 'raid  Vines  in  purple  gems  produce, 
Which  for  its  excellence  surpasses  far 

That  liquor,  which  to  bright  celestial  souls, 
Jove's  minion,  Ganimede,  with  steady  care, 

Richly  dispenses  in  immortal  bowls. 

So  much  for  Poetry,  let  us  cone  to  the  point, 
and  instance  some  learned  men  that  have  loved 
this  diversion.  And  first,  enter  Erasmus,  who 
certainly  was  no  enemy  to  wine,  since  he  chose 


THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS      87 

rather  to  continue  where  the  Plague  was,  than 
drink  "Water.  To  prove  this,  I  shall  instance 
part  of  a  Letter  written  to  this  great  Man,  by 
Ammonius  an  Italian  and  very  learned  person. 
* '  Immediately  after  my  arrival  in  England  I  en- 
"  deavoured  to  inform  myself  where  you  were, 
"  because  in  your  last  you  told  me,  the  Plague 
"  had  forced  you  to  quit  Cambridge.  At 
"  length  I  was  told  for  certain,  that  you  had 
"  indeed  left  the  town,  but  retiring  to  a  place 
"  where  there  was  no  wime,  which  to  you  being 
"  worse  than  the  Plague,  you  returned  thither, 
"  and  where  you  now  are.  0  intrepid  soldier 
' '  of  Bacchus,  whom  so  imminent  a  danger  could 
' '  not  compel  to  desert  his  general ! ' '  The  La- 
tin having  much  more  force,  for  the  sake  of 
those  who  understand  that  language,  I  shall  take 
the  liberty  to  insert  it,  as  follows:— Simul  atque 
Anglicum  solum  tetigi,  ubi  locorum  esses  rogare 
cepi,  siquidem  Cantabrigiensem  pestem  fugere  te 
scripsisi.  Unus  tandem  sixtinus  mihi  dixit  te 
quidem  Cantabrigiam.  Ob  pestem  reliquisse  & 
concessisse  nescio  quo,  ubi  cum  vini  penuria  labo- 
rares,  &  eo  carere  gravius  peste  duceres,  Canta- 
brigam  repeiiise  atque  ibi  nunc  esse.  0  fortem 
Bassarei  commilitonem,  qui  in  summo  periculo 
ducem  decerere  nolueris*. 

Daniel  Heinsius  loved  to  drink  a  little.     One 


Bayle  Diet.  Art.  Ammon. 


88      THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS 

Day,  when  he  was  not  in  a  condition  to  read 
his  Lectures,  having  got  drunk  the  day  before, 
some  arch-wags  fixed  these  words  on  the  School 
door:  Daniel  Heinsius,  non  leget  hodie,  propter 
hesternam  carpidam*. 

George  Sharpe,  a  Scotch  Man,  professor,  and 
Vice-Chancellor  of  Montpelier,  who  died  in  the 
year  1673,  on  his  Birth-day,  aged  59  Years  was 
a  great  drunkardf . 

Barthius  may  also  be  reckoned  amongst  those 
learned  topers,  if  what  Coloniez  says  be  true. 
"  I  knew,"  says  he,  "some  learned  men  in 
"  Holland,  who  spoke  of  Scriverius  as  of  a  man 
"  extremely  amorous.  M.  Vossius,  amongst 
"  others,  related  to  me  one  day,  that  Barthius 
"  being  come  from  Germany  to  Harlaem  to  see 
"  Scriverius,  had  in  his  company  a  Lady  per- 
"  fectly  beautiful,  whom  Scriverius  had  no  soon- 
"  er  seen,  but  he  found  means  to  make  Barthius 
"  drunk,  that  he  might  entertain  the  Lady  with 
"  greater  liberty,  which  he  accomplished.  It 
"  was  not,  however,  so  well  managed,  but  Bar- 
"  thius  coming  to  himself,  had  some  reason  to 
"  suspect  what  had  past,  which  grew  so  much 
"  upon  him,  that  he  took  the  Lady  along  with 
"  him  in  a  rage,  and  drowned  her  in  the 
"  Rhine$." 

*  Menagian,  T.  1.  p.  26. 

-j-  Patinian,  p.  106. 

$  Rec.  de  partie.  p.  318.  Ed.  4. 


THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS     89 

Scaliger  treats  as  a  drunkard  John  Kuklin,  a 
Calvinist  Minister,  Native  of  Hesse,  and  a  very 
learned  man*. 

"  Nicholas  de  Bourbon,  of  Bar  sur  VAube, 
"  was  Nephew's  Son  to  the  Poet  Nicolas  Bour- 
"  bon,  who  lived  in  the  time  of  Francis  the 
"first;  after  having  been  King's  Professor, 
"  then  Canon  of  Langres,  made  himself  a  Fa- 

"  ther  of  the  Oratory He  was  a  prodi- 

"  gious  dry  Soul,  and  loved  good  Wine,  which 
"  made  him  often  say,  That  tho'  he  was  of  the 
"  French  Academy,  yet  that  when  he  read 
"  French  Verses,  he  fancied  he  was  drinking 
"  Water. 

The  great  Buchanan,  so  famous  for  his  fine 
Writings,  was  a  terrible  Drinker,  if  we  may 
give  any  Credit  to  Father  Garasse.  What 
follows  is  taken  out  of  his  Doctrine  Curieuse, 
p.  748.  "  I  shall,  says  he,  recount  to  our 
"  new  Atheists,  the  miserable  End  of  a  Man 
"  of  their  Belief  and  Humour,  as  to  eating 
"  and  drinking.  The  Libertine  having  passed 
"  his  debauched  Youth  in  Paris,  and  Bour- 
"  deaux,  more  diligent  in  finding  out  Tavern 
"  Bushes,  than  the  Laurel  of  Parnassus;  and 
"  being  towards  the  latter  End  of  his  Life, 
"  recalled  into  Scotland,  to  instruct  the  young 
"  Prince,   James   Vlth,    continuing   his   Intem- 


Scaliger,  p.  409. 


90     THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS 

perance,  he  grew  at  last  so  dropsical  by 
drinking,  that  by  way  of  Jeer,  he  said  he 
was  in  Labour.  Vino  intercute,  not  aqua 
intercute.  As  ill  as  he  was,  he  would,  how- 
ever, not  abstain  from  drinking  bumpers,  and 
then  too  all  of  pure  wine,  as  he  used  to  do 
at  Bourdeaux.  The  physicians  who  had  care 
of  his  health,  by  order  of  the  King,  seeing  the 
extravagant  excesses  of  their  patient,  told  him 
roundly,  and  in  a  kind  of  heat,  that  he  did 
all  he  could  to  kill  himself,  and  that,  if  he  con- 
tinued this  course  of  life,  he  could  not  live 
above  a  Fortnight  or  three  Weeks  longer. 
He  desired  them  then  to  hold  a  consultation 
amongst  themselves,  and  let  him  know  how 
long  he  might  live  if  he  abstained  from  wine. 
They  did  so,  and  told  him,  he  might,  on 
that  condition  five  or  six  years  longer.  Upon 
which  he  gave  them  an  answer  worthy  his 
humour.  Go,  says  he,  with  your  Regimens 
and  Prescriptions,  and  know,  that  I  had  rather 
live  three  Weeks,  and  get  drunk  every  Day, 
than  six  Years  without  drinking  Wine.  And 
as  soon  as  he  had  thus  dismissed  the  Physi- 
cians, he  caused  a  Barrel  of  Wine  of  Grave 
to  be  placed  at  his  Bed's  Head,  resolving  to 
see  the  Bottom  of  it  before  he  died;  and 
carried  himself  so  valiantly  in  this  Encoun- 
ter, that  he  drank  it  up  to  the  Lees,  fulfil- 
ling  literally    the    Contents   of    this    quaint 


THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS     91 

"  Epigram  of  Epigonus  upon  a  Frog,  who  fall- 
"  ing  into  a  Pipe  of  Wine,  cried  out, 

<£su  rtWs  v8u>£ 
7Tivo<ri  jxa.vt.iqv  aoi<f><;t,va  fiaLvo/xevoi. 

"  Having  Death  and  the  Glass  between  his 
"  Teeth,  the  Ministers  visited  him  to  bring 
"  him  to  himself,  that  he  might  take  Resolu- 
"  tion  to  die  with  some  Thought  and  Reflec- 
"  tion,  one  of  them  especially  exhorted  him  to 
"  recite  the  Lord's  Prayer,  upon  which,  open- 
"  ing  his  Eyes,  he  looked  very  ghastly  upon 
"  the  Minister;  And  what  is  that,  says  he, 
"  that  you  call  the  Lord's  Prayer f  The  Stan- 
"  ders  by  answer 'd,  It  was  the  Our  Father; 
"  and  that,  if  he  could  not  pronounce  that 
"  Prayer,  they  desired  him,  that  at  least  he 
"  would  recite  some  Christian  Prayer,  that  he 
"  might  die  like  a  good  Man.  For  my  part, 
"  replied  he,  I  never  knew  any  other  Prayer 
"  than  this, 

"  Cynthia  prima  suis  miscrum  me  cepit  ocellis, 
'"  Cantractum    nullis   ante    cupidinibus. 

Cynthia's   fine  Eyes,   me   wretched,   first  could 

move, 
Before  that  Time  I  knew  not  what  was  Love. 

"  And  scarce  had  he  repeated  ten  or  twelve 
"  Verses   of  that  Elegy  of  Propertius,  but  he 


92      THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS 

"  expired,  surrounded  with  Cups  and  Glasses, 
"  and  of  him  one  may  really  say,  that  he  vo- 
"  mited  his  Purple  Soul  out,  Parpurceam  vomit 
"  Me  Animam* 

I  shall  not  vouch  for  the  Truth  of  this  Story, 
but  you  have  it  as  I  find  it;  nor  must  it  be  ex- 
pected that  Buchanan,  who  was  their  mortal 
Enemy,  should  find  any  Favour  from  the 
Priests  of  the  Church  of  Rome. 

Justus  Lipsius  got  sometimes  drunk,  he  tells 
us  so  himself,  in  his  Commentary  on  Seneca, 
for  in  that  Passage  where  the  Philosopher  says, 
That  Drunkenness  cures  some  certain  Distem- 
pers, he  makes  on  the  Word  Distempers  this 
remark  following.  Melancholy  (We  know  it 
by  experience)  or  Cold.  And  in  the  discourses 
which  he  says  were  carried  on  between  Carrio 
Demius,  and  Dusa,  upon  subjects  of  literature, 
and  which  he  inserts  in  his  antient  lessons,  they 
had  always  a  glass  in  their  hand. 

Every  one  knows  that  Bauddus,  Professor  of 
the  University  of  Leyden,  was  a  great  drinker, 
and  Culprit  himself  pleads  guilty  to  the  indict- 
ment. Habemus  rerum  confitentem.  Here  fol- 
low his  own  words,  which  I  own  I  cannot  trans- 
late without  losing  their  beauty  in  the  Latin,  but 
the  substance  is,  that  he  desires  envy  itself  to  say 
any  thing  against  him  but,  that  like  the  antient 


*  Bayle  Diet.  Art.  Buchan.  D. 


THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS     93 

Caio,  he  drank  pretty  liberally  of  the  juice  of 
the  Grape.  Concurrant  omnes,  says  he,  non  dicam 
ut  Me  satiricus,  Augurcs,  Haruspices,  sed  quic- 
quid  est  ubique  hominum  coriosorum,  qui  in 
aliena  acta  tarn  sedulo  iniquirunt  ut  ea  fingant 
qua  nunquam  fuerunt,  nihil  inveniet  quod  in 
nobis  carpere  possit  livor,  quam  quod  interdum 
ad  exemplum  prisci  Catonii  liberalitatis  invitare 
nos  patiamur,  nee  semper  constitimus  ultra 
sobri-etatcm*  veterum  Sabinorum*  And  in 
another  Letter  he  says,  that  the  most  virulent 
detractor  could  never  reproach  him  with  any 
thing,  but,  that  he  got  sometimes  drunk.  Malig- 
nitas  obtrectatorunb  nihil  aliud  in  nobis  sigillare 
potest  quam  quod  nimis  commodus  swm  con- 
vivator,  &  interdum  largius  adspargor  rore  liberi 
patris.\ 

Balzac  made  also  some  little  debauches  with 
some  of  his  friends  at  his  country  house ;  and 
what  he  wrote  to  an  officer  who  was  then  priso- 
ner in  Germany,  makes  it  evidently  appear, 
that  he  thought  it  lawful  so  to  do.  ' '  In  relation, 
"  says  he,  to  the  German  manner  of  drinking 
1 '  healths,  which  you  speak  of  with  such  trouble, 
"  as  if  they  were  so  many  Turkish  Bastinadoes. 
"  I  think  your  sobriety  in  that  respect  to  be  a 
"  little  too   delicate,   you   must   learn   to  howl 


*Ep.  33.  Centur.  3. 
f  Ep.  26.  Centur.  33. 


94     THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS 

when  you  are  in  the  company  of  Wolves,  as 
the  Proverb  has  it,  and  not  to  instance  great 
Generals;  don't  you  know,  that  wise  Ambas- 
sadors of  Kings  have  heretofore  got  drunk, 
for  the  good  of  their  Masters  affairs,  and  sa- 
crificed all  their  prudence  and  gravity  to  the 
necessity  of  great  men,  and  the  custom  of  the 
Country  where  they  were.  I  do  not  advise 
you  here  to  any  forbidden  acts  of  intempe- 
rance, but  I  think  it  no  manner  of  harm  now 
and  then  to  drown  your  Chagrin  in  Rhenish 
wine,  and  to  make  use  of  that  agreeable 
means  to  shorten  the  time,  the  long  continu- 
ance of  which  is  ever  extremely  tedious  to 
prisoners.* 

The  illustrious  Professor  of  Utrecht,  whose 
name  shall  live  as  long  as  the  Republic  of  letters 
shall  subsist,  was  a  great  drinker,  and  valued 
himself  for  drinking  a  great  deal.  It  is  reported 
of  this  learned  man,  that  at  the  Congress  of  the 
last  peace,  a  certain  German  Prince,  of  a  Sove- 
reign house;  came  on  purpose  to  have  a  Brush 
with  our  Professor,  who  accepted  the  challenge, 
and  came  off  victorious,  having  fairly  laid  his 
Enemy   speechless  on   the   Floor. 


Lett,  ehois.  lib.  2.  Let.  5. 


CHAP.  XVI. 

Of  Nations  that  used  to  get  Drunk. 

THE  Plot  now  begins  to  thicken  upon  ns, 
and  we  are  come  to  give  an  account  of  such 
Nations  with  whom  the  custom  of  getting  drunk 
was  heretofore  very  much  in  vogue ;  and  of 
those  with  whom  this  same  custom  reigns  at 
this  very  day. 

When  we  consult  antient  Histories  upon  this 
point,  we  learn  from  Plato*  that  the  Scythi- 
ans, Thracians,  Celtce,  and  Iberians,  were  the 
greatest  drinkers  that  ever  were.  Mlian^  says 
the  same,  in  relation  to  the  Thracians  and 
Illyrians.  It  is  also  reported  of  the  Parthians,% 
that  the  more  they  drink,  the  more  thirsty  they 
grow. 

Atheneus%  also  assures  us,  that  the  Thracians 
were  great  drinkers;  and  he  says  the  same 
thing  of  the  Milesians,  Illyrians,  Lydians,  Per- 
sians,  Carthaginians,   Gauls  and  Spaniards. 

The  Tapyrians  were  so  much  given  to  wine, 


•Lips.  Cent.  3.  Ep.  51. 
fLib.  2.  cap.  15. 
J  Erasm.  Adag. 
§Lib.  10.  cap.  10. 


96      THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS 

that  they  past  their  whole  lives  in  drinking, 
and  even  bathed  their  bodies  in  wine.* 

The  Tarentians  used  to  drink  from  morning 
till  night,  and  got  quite  drunk  in  public.f 

The  Leontins,  a  people  in  Sicily,  were  such 
great  drunkards,  that  they  occasioned  this  pro- 
verb, viz.  the  Leontins  are  always  near  a  cup  of 
wine.J 

The  Byzantins  must  not  be  refused  a  place 
in  this  Chapter.  JElian  report s,§  that  Leonides, 
their  General,  being  besieged,  and  unable  to 
make  his  men  keep  their  posts,  which  they 
quitted  every  moment  to  go  and  get  drunk  at 
the  taverns,  he  immediately  gave  orders  that 
the  vintners  should  repair  with  all  their  liquors 
to  the  ramparts,  by  which  stratagem  he  kept 
them  to  their  duty. 

But  as  it  may  be  said,  that  the  Nations  we 
have  already  mentioned  were  all  barbarous,  we 
shall,  for  that  reason,  verify  what  Montaigne 
says,  that  amongst  Nations  the  best  regulated, 
and  most  polite,  this  Essay  of  Drinking  deep 
was  very  much  in  use.\\ 

The  Greeks,  whom  one  may  look  upon  as 
the  only  Nation  in  the  world  for  politeness  and 


*  JElian,  lib.  3.  cap.  13. 

f  Lib.  12. 

X  Forner  de  Ebriet.  lib.  1.  cap.  12. 

§  Lib.  3.  cap.  14. 

||  Essays,  1.  2.  cap.  2. 


THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS      97 

good  sense,  are  a  proof  of  what  I  advance. 
They  celebrated  the  Feasts  of  Bacchus  with  a 
great  deal  of  solemnity ;  'tis  from  them  that  Per- 
graicari,  of  which  every  one  knows  the  significa- 
tion, is  derived.  TElkxn  assures  us,  they  were 
so  very  luxurious,  that  they  put  perfumed  oils 
into  their  wine,  which  they  called  wine  of 
Myrrh. 

The  Romans  had  also  a  very  strong  passion 
for  wine,  so  that  at  Borne  there  were  frequently 
very  great  seditions  for  want  of  it.  Seditiones 
sunt  concitatce  graves  oh  inopiam  vini*,  says 
Ammianus  Marcellinus,  in  the  life  of  Constan- 
tius  and  Gallus;  and  in  the  reign  of  Constantius 
only,  the  same  Historian  says,  there  was  a  sedi- 
tion also  upon  that  very  account. 

Titus  Livius  tells  us,  that  the  Clusians  passed 
the  Alps,  and  came  to  inhabit  the  country  that 
the  Etrurians  possessed  before,  to  have  the 
pleasure  of  drinking  winef. 

Let  us  now  descend  to  some  Nations,  with 
whom,  at  present,  this  custom  of  getting  drunk 
is  received. 

Sir  Paul  Ricaut%  assures  us,  that  the  Turks 
considering  that  wine  rejoices  the  heart,  and 
comforts  the  stomach,  have  begun  to  drink  it; 


*  Hist.  Aug.  Script.  Ed.  1609.  Fol.  p.  414.  &  p.  425. 

fP.  85. 

t  Hist,  of  the  Turks. 


98     THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS 

adding,  that  at  present  there  are  only  a  few 
(Ulamah)  ecclesiastical  hypocrites,  or  some  ig- 
norant bigots,  or  superannuated  people,  that 
abstain  from  that  liquor,  but  at  the  same  time 
drunkenness  is  grown  very  common  amongst 
them. 

M.  Du  Mont  confirms  this  truth,  "As  to 
"  wine,"  says  he,  "  tho'  it  be  as  expressly  for- 
"  bidden  as  swine's  flesh,  it  is  nevertheless  very 
"  certain,  that  a  great  many  Mahometans  trans- 
"  gress  that  precept,  and  the  justest  thing  that 
"  I  can  say  in  that  respect  is,  that  abstinence 
"  from  wine  is  observed  there  almost  after  the 
' '  same  manner  as  Lent  in  France. '  '* 

The  Persians  too  drink  wine  to  excess,  tho' 
their  Law  forbids  the  use  of  it ;  and  they  say  for 
an  excuse,  "  That  it  is  to  pass  away  the  time, 
"  and  sweeten  the  cares  that  surprize  them." 

The  Armenians  are  no  way  behind  the  Per- 
sians, if  we  may  believe  Tavemier,  who  says, 
that  with  them,  "  He  that  treats  thinks  he  has 
"  handsomely  acquitted  himself  of  his  enter- 
"  tainment,  if  his  guests  cannot  find  the  door 
"  when  they  have  a  mind  to  go  home,  which 
"  would  very  often  happen,  without  the  assis- 
"  tance  of  their  servants,  who  lead  them,  and 
"  yet  have  not  power  enough  sometimes  to  keep 
"  them  from  falling  down  in  the  Room,  or  in 


Voyage,  T.  3,  Let.  5. 


THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS      99 

"  the  Street,  which  is  a  great  satisfaction  to  the 
' '  host ;  for  if  he  finds  any  of  them  master  of  so 
"  much  judgment  as  to  guide  himself,  tho'  he 
"  reels  never  so  much,  he  laments  very  much, 
"  as  having  the  misfortune  of  spending  his 
"  money  to  no  purpose."* 

The  Siameze  drink  wine  very  heartily  when 
they  can  get  it,  tho'  every  thing  that  may  intox- 
icate them  is  forbidden  by  their  Law.f 

Father  le  Clerc,  author  of  a  relation  of  Gas- 
pesia,  assures  us,  that  drunkenness  is  the  favou- 
rite vice  of  the  inhabitants  of  that  country:]:. 

The  Inhabitants  of  the  Coast  of  Africa  are 
great  Drunkards;  they  would  give  all  they  had 
in  the  World  for  a  Glass  of  Brandy.  At 
Loanda,  Capital  of  the  Kingdom  of  Angola, 
a  Firkin  of  Wine  sells  for  above  30  Pounds 
Sterling.  They  love  it  extremely,  and  they 
tell  you  a  pleasant  Story  hereupon  of  the  great 
Duke  of  Bamba,  which  is  a  Province  of  the 
Kingdom  of  Congo,  viz.  that  he  once  refused 
the  Crown,  as  he  himself  owned  to  the  Fathers 
Missioners,  that  he  might  be  always  near  the 
Portuguese,  and  drink,  by  their  means,  some- 
times a  little  Wine  or  Brandy §. 

The   Muscovites   love   Wine   with    a   kind   of 


*  Travernier's  Trav.  torn.  1.  lib.  5.  cap.  17, 
f  Lonbere,  liv.  1.  eh.  9. 
%  Bibl.  Univ.  T.  23.  p.  44. 
§  Viaggio  del  Congo. 


100    THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS 

Fury,  and  it  has  been  known,  that  when  a  man 
who  has  drunk  to  excess,  and  can  swallow  no 
more,  they  wash  him  soundly  with  it.  And  in 
Germany,  you  are  not  looked  upon  to  have 
treated  your  Guest  like  a  Friend,  if  you  do 
not  reduce  him  to  that  Condition,  as  quite  to 
forget  himself,  and  know  not  what  he  does*. 
"  As  Georgia  produces  strong  Wines,  so 
its  Inhabitants  are  great  Drunkards,  the 
strongest  Liquors  is  what  they  love  most; 
and  at  their  Entertainments,  they  drink 
more  Brandy  than  Wine,  Women  as  well 
as  Menf . 

Sir  John  Chardin%  assures  us,  that  there  is 
no  Country  in  the  World  where  they  drink  so 
much  Wine,  and  more  excellent,  than  they 
do  at  Georgia;  adding,  that  the  Georgians  are 
great  Drunkards,  and  that  the  Clergy  get 
drunk  as  well  as  the  Laity. 

Like  People  like  Priest. 

Qualcs  Populus  talis  Sacerdos. 

We  have  taken  care  not  to  forget  Germany. 
Vocabitur  hmc  quoque  votis.  AVhich  we  reserve 
to  the  next  Chapter. 


*  Chevrean,  T.  2.  p.  215. 
f  Tavern.  T.  1.  liv.  3.  ch.  9. 
X  Voyag.  T.  2.  p.  129. 


CHAP.  XVII. 

Of  the  Drunkenness  of  the  Germans. 

THE  Germans  were,  in  all  Times  and  Ages, 
great  Drinkers,  and  in  the  Words  of  one 
of  their  own  Poets. 

"  Illic  nobilitas,  ceterno  nomine  digna 

"  Exhaurire  cados,  siccareque  pocula  long  a* 

worthy  eternal  Fame ! 


"lis  there  a  Piece  of  true  Nobility, 

To  empty  Casks,  and  drink  deep  Goblets  dry. 

To  demonstrate  the  Origin  of  their  Bibacity, 
it   is    absolutely   necessary    to   go   higher   than 
Tacitus,   who,   in  the   Treatise  which  he   com- 
posed in  relation   to  their  Customs  and  Man- 
ners, thus  speaks,  "It  is  no  shame  with  them 
'  to  pass  whole  Days  and  Nights  in  drinking; 
'  but  Quarrellings  are  very  frequent  amongst 
'  them,  as   are   usual    amongst   Folks   in   that 
1  respect,   and    more    often    end    at    Daggers 
'  drawing   than   in   Billingsgate.      It   is,   how- 
'  ever,   in   such   Meetings,    that   Alliances   and 
'  Reconciliations     are     formed.        Here     they 
1  treat  of  the  Election  of  Princes.     In  short, 


*  G.  Brasch.  Inter,  p.  405. 


102   THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS 

"  of  all  Affairs,  of  Peace  and  War.  Those 
"  Opportunities  they  think  most  proper,  inas- 
"  much  as  then  People  shake  off  all  Disguise 
"  of  Thought  and  Reflection,  and  the  Heat 
"  of  Debauch  engages  the  Soul  of  Man  to 
"  Resolutions  the  most  bold  and  hardy.* 

Owen,  our  Country  Man,  has  made  an 
Epitaph  in  Honour  of  these  our  substantial 
Topers,  the  Germans;  the  Sense  of  which  is, 
That  if  Truth  lies  hidden  in  AVine,  they  are 
the  first  People  in  the  World  that  will  find  it 
out.     His  Words  are, 

Si  latet  in  vino  Verum,  ut  Proverbia  dicnnt, 
Invenit  verum  Teuto  vel  inveniet. 

Let  us  see  now  what  Travellers  have  said 
on  this  Subject  of  the  Germans:  And  we  will 
begin  with  M.  Aug.  de  Thou,  an  Eye-witness 
thereof.f  "  There  is,  says  he,  before  Mulhau- 
"  sen,  a  large  Place,  or  Square;  where,  dur- 
"  ing  the  Fair,  assemble  a  prodigious  Number 

*  Diem  noctemque  continuare  nullum  probrum,  crebrae 
ut  inter  vinolentos  rixae,  rare-  conviciis  sepius  cede  &  vul- 
neribua  transiguntur.  Sed  &  de  reconciliandis  invicem 
inimicitiis  &  pangendis  affinitatibus  &  adsciscendis  prin- 
cipibus,  de  pace  denique  ac  bello  plerunque  in  conviviis 
consultant;  tanquam  nullo  magis  tempore  aut  ad  sim- 
plices  cogitationes  patea  animus,  aut  ad  magnas  in 
calescat. 

f  Memoir  de  Thou.  liv.  2.  p.  63. 


THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS    103 

"  of  People,  of  both  Sexes,  and  of  all  Ages; 
"  there  one  may  see  Wives  supporting  their 
"  Husbands,  Daughters  their  Fathers,  totter- 
"  ing  upon  their  Horses  or  Asses,  a  true 
"  Image  of  a  Bacchanal.  The  publick  Houses 
"  are  full  of  Drinkers,  where  the  young  Wo- 
"  men  who  wait,  pour  Wine  into  Goblets,  out 
"of  a  large  Bottle,  with  a  long  Neck,  without 
"  spilling  one  drop.  They  press  you  to  drink 
"  with  Pleasantries  the  most  agreeable  in  the 
"  World.  People  drink  here  continually,  and 
"  return  at  all  Hours  to  do  the  same  Thing 
"  over  again. 

This  pleasant  sight,  so  new  to  M.  de  Thou, 
continues  almost  all  Night.  And  what  is  very 
particular  amongst  such  a  great  concourse  of 
People,  and  such  a  number  of  Drunkards,  every 
thing  passes  without  dispute  and  quarrelling. 

Let  us  now  see  what  the  Duke  de  Rohan  says 
on  this  head,  whose  words  are  these,*  "  From 
"  thence  I  came  to  Trent,  a  place  no  ways 
"  agreeable,  and  famous  for  nothing  but  the 
"last  Council  which  was  held  there;  and  if 
"  it  was  not  that  it  was  half  Italian,  (being 
"  glad  of  coming  out  of  little  Barbanj,  and  a 
"  universal  Tipling-house),  I  would  take  no 
' '  notice  of  it ;  being  well  satisfied,  that  the 
' '  Mathematicians  of  our  times,  can  no  where 


Voyag.  p.  27.  Ed.  1646. 


104    THE  PRAISE  OP  DRUNKENNESS 

"  find  out  the  perpetual  Motion,  so  well  as 
"  here,  where  the  Goblets  of  the  Germans  are 
"  an  evident  Demonstration  of  its  Possibility. 
"  They  think  they  cannot  make  good  Cheer, 
"  nor  permit  Friendship  or  Fraternity,  as  they 
"  call  it,  with  any,  without  giving  the  Seal 
' '  brimful  of  Wine,  to  seal  it  for  Perpetuity. 

M.  Misson,  who  was  also  some  time  in 
Germany,  gives  us  yet  a  larger  description. 
"  The  Germans,  says  he,*  are,  as  you  know, 
"  strange  Drinkers.  There  are  no  people  in 
"  the  world  more  caressing,  more  civil,  more 
"  officious;  but  still  another  Cup.  They  have 
"  terrible  customs  on  that  article  of  Drinking. 
"  Every  thing  is  transacted  over  the  Bottle; 
"  you  can  do  nothing  without  Drinking.  One 
"  can  scarce  speak  three  words  at  a  visit,  but 
"  you  are  astonished  to  see  the  Collation  come 
"  in,  or  at  least  a  good  quantity  of  Wine,  at- 
"  tended  with  Crusts  of  Bread,  cut  into  little 
"  pieces,  upon  a  Plate  with  Salt  and  Pepper, 
"  a  fatal  preparative  for  bad  Drinkers.  I 
"  must  instruct  you  in  the  Laws  they  observe 
"  in  their  Cups;  Laws  sacred  and  inviolable. 
"  You  must  never  drink  without  drinking  some 
"  ones  Health,  which  having  done,  you  must 
"  immediately  present  the  Glass  to  the  party 
"  you  drank  to,  who  must  never  refuse  it,  but 


Voyage  de  Italie,  T.  1.  Let.  9 


THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS    105 

"  drink  it  to  the  last  Drop.  Reflect  a  little, 
"  I  beseech  you,  on  these  Customs,  and  you 
"  will  see  how,  and  by  what  means,  it  is  im- 
"  possible  to  cease  from  drinking.  After  this 
"  manner,  one  shall  never  have  done.  It  is  a 
"  perpetual  Circle  to  drink  after  the  German 

"  Fashion;  it  is  to  drink  for  ever. You 

"  must  likewise  know,  that  the  Glasses  too, 
"  are  respected  in  those  Countries,  as  much  as 
"  the  Wine  is  loved;  they  range  them  all 
"  about  in  Ranks  and  Files;  most  of  their 
"  Rooms  are  wainscotted  up  two  Thirds  of  the 
"  Wall,  and  the  Glasses  are  ranged  all  about, 
"  like  Organ  Pipes,  upon  the  Cornish.  They 
"  begin  with  the  small,  and  end  with  the  large 
"  ones,  which  are  like  Melon  Glasses,  and 
"  must  be  taken  off  at  one  Draught,  when  they 
"  drink  any  health  of  importance. 

Let  us  observe  here,*  "  That  it  was  the 
"  Custom  of  the  antient  Greeks  to  drink  large- 
"  ly  after  Meals;  and,  that  this  Custom  is  now 
"  practised  in  Germany."  This  was  what 
Mneas,  and  the  People  of  his  Train,  used  to 
do,  as  we  learn  from  these  Verses  of  Virgil.'f 

"  Postquam     prima     quies    epulis,    mensceque 

remota, 
"  Crateras  magnas  statuunt  &  vina  coronant. 


*  Chevreana,  T.  2.  p.  188. 
f  iEneid.  lib.  1.  v.  723. 


106    THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS 

After  the  Teeth  had  gain'd  their  first  Repose, 
The  Dishes  ta'en  away,  the  Cloth  remov'd, 

The  rich  Repast  gigantic  Tankards  close, 

Replete  with  Wines,   by    nicest    Tastes    ap- 
prov  'd. 

It  is  the  same  Thing  with  the  Armenians, 
they  never  drink  till  at  the  End  of  their  Meals. 
"  After  they  have  said  Grace,  the  Dishes  are 
"  remov'd,  in  order  to  bring  in  tho  Desert, 
"  and  then  they  prepare  themselves  to  drink 
"  to  excess. 

We  come  now  to  the  Swiss.  Here  follows 
what  Daniel  Eremita,  a  very  learned  man,  who 
published  a  description  of  their  country,  has  said 
to  them.  *  ' '  They  have  the  same  simplicity  in 
'  drinking,  but  they  do  not  keep  the  same  mo- 
'  deration.  Wine  is  what  they  place  their  de- 
'  light  in,  and  they  prefer  it  to  all  things  in  the 
'  world.  At  their  assemblies,  both  for  pleasure 
'  and  business,  or  any  other  affairs,  wine  always 
'  makes  a  party;  with  which,  when  they  have 
'  overloaded  their  stomach  they  discharge  it, 
'  and  set  down  to  it  again,  and  drink  as  they 
'  did  at  first.  They  leave  the  care  of  the  Fa- 
'  mily  to  their  Wives  and  Children,  who  live 
'  with  the  utmost  (Economy,  in  favour  of 
'  their  Husbands,  who  are  continually  at  the 
1  Tavern.      They    talk    with    Glass    in    Hand, 

*  Ed.  8.  p.  411. 


THE  PRAISE  OP  DRUNKENNESS    107 

"  and  please  themselves  in  that  Posture,  to  re- 
' '  count  their  Acts  and  Gests,  and  those  of  their 
"  Ancestors,  as  Examples  to  Posterity.  They 
"  speak  freely  all  they  know,  and  know  not 
"  what  a  Secret  is.  In  short,  this  way  of  life 
"  does  not  only  continue  whole  days  succes- 
"  sively,  but  all  the  time  they  live. 

Nor  have  things  now  taken  another  aspect 
in  Switzerland.  The  Author  of  a  Travel, 
lately  into  that  Country,  tells  us  for  certain, 
that  "  Wine  is  a  singular  attractive,  a  power- 
"  ful  Charm,  against  which,  the  Swiss  can 
"  make  no  manner  of  Resistance.* 

Before  I  close  this  Chapter,  I  shall  take 
notice  of  the  Flemings,  whom  we  ought  to  look 
upon  as  making  part  of  Germany,  who  though 
they  are  surrounded  by  Water,  take  care  never 
to  drink  any,  which  made  Scaliger,  when  in 
Holland,  say  to  Douza. 

"  In  mediis  habitamus  aquis,  quis  credere  possit 
"  Et  tamen  hie  nulla,  Douza,  bibuntur  aquce.'f 

Amidst  the  Waters  here  we  live, 
Yet  who  can  any  Credit  give, 
To  what  I  say,  for,  Douza,  here 
No  Water  Drinkers  e'er  appear. 

Guicciardin,   in   his   Description   of   the   low 


*  Voyag.  de  Rouvier,  p.  89. 
■j-  De  admir.  Holland. 


108    THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS 

Countries,  accuses  the  People  of  drinking  too 
much.  *  Hanno,  says  he,  Poi  per  la  maggior 
parte  quel  vitio  del  here  troppo.  He  adds,  how- 
ever, "  That  they  are  in  some  sort  excusable, 
"  because  the  Air  of  the  Country  being  for 
"  the  most  part  of  the  Year,  humid,  and  apt 
"  to  inspire  Melancholy,  they  could  not,  per- 
"  haps,  make  use  of  a  more  efficacious  remedy 
"  to  expel  this  irksome,  unwholesome  Melan- 
"  choly,  than  Wine,  which,  I  suppose,  was 
"  Horace's  Sentiment,  when  he  said,  With 
"  Wine  drive  aivay  Care.  The  Words  in  the 
"  Original  are,  Ma  sono  in  qualche  parte  scu- 
"  sabili,  per  die  essendo  Varia  del  paese  il  pui 
' '  del  tempo  humida  &  malinconica,  non  potrieno 
"  peraventura  trovar  instromenta  piu  idoneo  a 
"  scacciare  &  oattere  la  malinconia  odiosa  & 
"  mal  sana  die  il  vino,  si  come  pare  che  accerni 
"  Horatio  dicendo.     Vino  pellite  curas. 

But  without  any  farther  talking  of  the  Ger- 
mans, I  shall  end  this  Chapter  with  this  neces- 
sary Remark,  That  one  need  not  go  out  of 
England  for  Examples  of  hard  Drinking,  our 
Country,  God  bless  it,  does  not  come  behind 
any  other  in  this  particular. 


Ed.  Fol.  1567.  p.  29. 


CHAP.  XVIII. 

Of  Nations   that  get  Drunk   with  certain 
Liquors. 


A 


S  every  Country  does  not  produce  "Wine, 
but  according  to  the  Poet.* 


Hie  segetes,  illic  veniunt  fcelicius  Uvce. 

Here    Wheat,    more    happily    there    grows    the 
Grape. 

Those  Nations,  with  whom  there  are  no 
Vines,  have  invented  other  Drinks  to  make 
themselves  Merry.  Plinyf  tells  us,  That  the 
Western  People  got  Drunk  with  certain  Li- 
quors made  with  Fruits ;  and  that  these  Liquors 
have  different  Names  in  Gaul  and  Spain,  tho' 
they  produce  the  same  effect. 

Ammianus  Marcellinus  reports,  That  the 
Gauls  having  no  Wine  in  their  Country,  tho' 
they  are  very  fond  of  it,  contrive  a  great  many 
sorts  of  Liquors,  which  produce  the  same 
effect  as  Wine.  Vini  avidum  genus  adfectans 
ad  vini  similihidinem  multiplices  potus. 

The  Scythians  had  no  Wine,  as  appears  by 


*  Virgil. 

f  Const.  &  Jul.  lib.  16. 


110   THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS 

the  answer  of  Anacharsis,  the  Philosopher, 
who  being  asked,  if  they  had  none  that  played 
on  the  Flute  in  Scythia,  replied,  that  they  had 
not  so  much  as  any  Wine  there.  However, 
for  all  that,  they  got  drunk  with  certain  Liquors 
which  had  the  force  and  strength  of  Wine. 
This  also  we  learn  from  these  Words  of  Virgil. 

"  Ipsi  in  defossis  specubus,  secura  subalta 
"  Otia   agunt    terra,   congestaque   robora    to- 

lasque 
"  Advolvere  focis  idmos,  ignique  dedere. 
"  Hie  noctem  ludo  ducunt,  &  pocula  Iceti 
iX  Fermento,  atqae  acidis  imitantur  vitea  sorbis. 

Secure,  in  quiet  ease,  they  dwell  in  Caves 
Deep  dug  in  earth,  and  to  their  chimnies  roll 
Whole  Oaks,  and  Elms  entire,  which  flames  de- 
vour. 
Here  all  the  night  in  sport  and  merry  glee 
They  pass  and  imitate,  with  acid  service, 
By  Fermentation  vinous  made,  the  Grape. 

The  Thracians  intoxicate  themselves  by  swal- 
lowing the  fumes  of  certain  herbs  which  they 
cast  into  the  fire. 

The  Babylonians,  according  to  Herodotus, 
used  likewise  to  get  drunk,  by  swallowing  the 
fumes  of  certain  herbs  that  they  burned. 

Strabo  reports,  that  the  Indians  made  a  cer- 


THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS    111 

tain  drink  with  Sugar  Canes,  which  made  them 
merry;  very  probably,  not  unlike  what  we  now 
call  Rum. 

Benso,  in  his  History  of  America,  says  the 
same  of  the  inhabitants  of  the  Island  of  Hispa- 
niola,  and  several  other  provinces  of  America. 

Pliny  and  Athenceus  tell  us,  that  the  Egyp- 
tians fuddled  themselves  with  a  drink  made  of 
Barley;  by  this  it  seems  the  liquor  of  Sir  John 
Barley -Corn  is  very  antient. 

Leri*,  in  his  Voyage  to  Brasif,  tells  us,  that 
the  inhabitants  of  that  Country  are  as  great 
drinkers  as  the  Germans,  Flemings,  Lansquenets, 
Swiss:  and  all  those  merry  gentlemen  who  love 
carousing,  and  drink  supernaculum,  ought  to 
agree,  that  they  are  even  with  them.  Their 
drink  is  made  of  certain  roots,  which  they  boil 
and  ferment,  and  is  then  called  by  them  in  their 
language  Ca-ou-in.  The  Author  adds,  "  That 
"  he  has  seen  them  not  only  drink  three  days 
"  and  nights  successively  without  ceasing,  but 
"  that  they  were  so  very  drunk,  that  they  could 
"  swallow  no  more  till  they  had  disgorged, 
"  which  was  in  order  to  begin  again. 

"  There  f  grows  in  the  Eastern  Countries 
"  certain  particular  drugs,  with  which  the  in- 
"  habitants     are    wonderfully     delighted,     and 


•  P.  126.  Ed.  1594. 

f  L  'Emer.  des  Alim.  part  3.  ch.  2. 


112   THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS 

'  which  produce  a  kind  of  drunkenness,  or 
'  agreeable  folly,  which  continues  some  time. 
'  They  are  so  much  accustomed  to  the  use  of 
'  these  drugs,  by  a  long  habit,  that  they  im- 
'  agine  that  life  must  be  very  sad  and  unhappy 
'  without  them.  The  Indians  and  Persians  have 
'  their  Bangue,  the  Egyptians  their  Bola,  and 
'  the  Turks  their  Opium." 

In  relation  to  the  Persians,  Tavernier*  has 
these  words,  viz.  "  They  have  a  sort  of  drink 
"  to  divert  and  make  themselves  merry,  which 
"  they  call  Kohemaar,  made  of  Poppy  seeds 
"  boiled.  They  drink  it  scalding  hot;  and 
"  there  are  particular  houses,  called  Kohemaar 
"  Krone,  where  people  meet,  and  give  a  great 
"  deal  of  pleasure  and  delight  to  those  who  see 
"  the  ridiculous  postures  which  this  kind  of 
"  liquor  makes  them  perform.  Before  it  ope- 
"  rates  they  quarrel  with  one  another,  and  give 
"  abusive  language,  without  coming  to  blows; 
"  afterwards,  when  the  drug  begins  to  have  its 
"  effect,  then  they  also  begin  to  make  peace. 
"  One  compliments  in  a  very  high  degree,  ano- 
"  ther  tells  stories,  but  all  are  extremely  ridi- 
"  culous  both  in  their  words  and  actions." 
And  after  having  spoken  of  other  liquors  that 
they  make  use  of,  he  adds,  "  It  is  difficult  to  find 
"  in  Persia  a  man  that  is  not  addicted  to  some 

*  T.  1.  lib.  5,  eh.  17. 


THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS    113 

"  one  of  these  liquors,  without  which  they  think 
"  they  cannot  live  but  very  unpleasantly." 

I  take  no  notice  here  of  that  admirable  drink 
called  Punch  with  us;  nor  Juniper  water  (vul- 
garly called  Geneva,  a  corruption  from  the 
French  word  Genevre,  which  signifies  the  same 
thing)  nor  that  dram  called  All  Fours,  which 
have  such  wonderful  effects  on  the  wretched 
commonalty. 


CHAP.  XIX. 

Other  Considerations  in  favour  of  Drunkenness. 

DRUNKENNESS  will  (and  ought  to  do 
so)  appear  excusable  to  People  the  most 
sober,  if  they  would  but  make  these  two  Re- 
flections following,  viz. 

I.    That  Drunkards  arc  not  generally  given 
to  Lewdness. 

"  Aristotle  says,  that  too  much  Drinking 
"  makes  one  very  improper  for  the  Acts  of 
"  Venus,  and  gives  his  reasons.  Athenaus  re- 
"  ports  the  same  thing  in  that  passage,  where 
"  he  makes  mention  of  the  Drunkenness  of 
"  Alexander  the  Great,  a  Vice,  says  he,  which, 
"  perhaps,  was  the  Cause  of  his  little  Inclina- 
' '  tion  for  the  Ladies. 

Montaigne*  speaks  very  well  on  this  Article, 
"  These,  says  he,  are  two  Things  which  vigo- 
"  rously  oppose  each  other;  this  weakens  our 
"  Stomach  on  one  Hand;  whereas,  on  the 
' '  other,  Sobriety  serves  to  make  us  more  quaint 
"  and  delicate  in  the  Exercise  of  Love, 

Ovid\  says  much  the  same  Thing. 

*  Essais,  1.  2,  ch.  2. 
f  Do  Eemed.  Amor. 


THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS    115 

"  Vina  parant  animum  veneri,  nisi  plurima  su- 

mas, 
"  Ut  stupcant  multo  corda  sepulta  mero. 

Wine,  not  too  much,   inspires,  and  makes  the 

Mind 
To  the  soft  Joys  of  Venus  strong  inclin'd, 
Which  buried  in  Excess,  unapt  to  Love, 
Stupidly  lies,  and  knows  not  how  to  move. 

II.  That  in  those  Countries,  where  they  do 
not  drink  to  excess,  they  are  very  much 
addicted  to  debauchery. 

It  is  certain,  that  in  hot  Countries,  they 
drink  a  great  deal  less,  than  they  do  in  cold, 
but  in  lieu  of  that,  Lewdness  reigns  much 
more.  Montaigne*  after  having  observed, 
that  they  began  to  drink  less  than  they  used  to 
do,  adds,  "  Does  any  one  think  it  tends  to 
"  Amendment?  No,  indeed,  but,  perhaps,  we 
"  are  much  more  given  to  Whoring,  than  our 
"  Forefathers." 

This  puts  me  in  mind  of  an  Italian,  who 
having  reproached  a  German,  with  the  Drun- 
kennness  of  his  Country,  by  these  Verses,  viz. 

"  Germani  midtos  possunt  tolerare  labores 
"  0  utinam  possint  tarn  tolerare  sitim. 

*  Essais,  1.  2,  ch.  2. 


116    THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS 

The  Germans  (patient)  toil,  inur'd  to  pain, 
0  could  they  but  their  Thirst,  so  well  sustain ! 

The  German  answered  him  extempore,  in 
these  other  two. 

"Ut  nos  vitis  amor,  sic  vos    Venus    improba 

vexat 
"  Est  data  lex  Veneri,  Julia,  nulla  mero. 

As  we  love  Wine,  so  wicked  Venus  you, 
'Twas  this,  not  that,  the  Julian  Edict  knew. 

In  order  to  draw  a  Consequence  from  all 
this,  let  us  speak  once  more  of  Montaigne* 
whose  Words  are,  "  And  if  we  cannot  give 
"  any  Pleasure,  but  what  costs  us  something, 
"  as  the  Antients  maintain,  I  find  this  Vice 
"  costs  the  Conscience  less  than  all  the  rest, 
"  besides,  it  is  in  this  respect,  no  despicable 
"  consideration,  that  a  Man  advanced  in  ho- 
"  nours,  amongst  three  principal  conveniencies 
"  of  Life,  that  he  told  me,  he  yet  enjoy 'd,  he 
"  reckoned  this  for  one. 

After  having  shewn  in  the  foregoing  Chap- 
ters, that  Drunkenness  reigns  all  the  World 
over,  Nulla  in  parte  mundi  cessat  Ebrietas. 
Let  us  see  what  we  may  hence  infer  in  its  fa- 
vour: And  I  ask,  if  the  Agreement  of  so  many 
different  Nations,  to  do  one  and  the  same  thing, 


*  Essais,  liv.  2.  ch.  2. 


THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS    117 

proves  nothing,  and  may  not,  in  some  measure, 
serve  as  an.  Apology  for  Drunkenness?  For  if 
one  considers,  that  the  surprising  variety  of  the 
Humour  and  Temperament  of  Men,  do,  not- 
withstanding, in  no  wise  hinder  them  from 
agreeing  unanimously  in  this  Point,  one  shall 
have  a  very  strong  Temptation  to  believe,  that 
the  desire  of  getting  Drunk,  is  an  innate  Qua- 
lity, and  we  shall  be  confirmed  in  this  Senti- 
ment, after  tasting  experimentally,  the  exqui- 
site sweetness,  caused  by  Drunkenness. 
To  conclude, 

All  drink,  throughout  the  Universe,    'tis  plain, 
The  Moon  drinks  up   the  Sea,  the  Earth  the 

Rain, 
The  Sun  the  Air,  and  ev'ry  Tree,  we  know 
The  Earth's  prolific  Juice  imbibes  to  grow. 
The  Air  sups  up  the  Water  too,  'tis  said, 
Why  then,   my   dearest   Friends,   d'ye    plague 

my  Head, 
And  angry  grow,  because,  dry  Soul,*  I  swill 
New  Wine,  Drink  fit  for  Gods,  and  quaff  my 

fill. 


*  Anima  mea  non  potest  habitare  in  sicco.     S.  Aug. 


CHAP.  XX. 

An  Answer  to  the  Objection,  that  Drunkenness 
causes  infinite  Evils. 

AFTER  having  specified  the  good  Quali- 
ties of  Drunkenness,  let  us  now  answer 
some  frivolous  Objections,  that  may  be  made 
against  what  we  have  here  advanced.  For 
Example,  People  will  not  be  wanting  imme- 
diately to  object,  that  Drunkenness  has  been  the 
cause  of  infinite  Evils. 

To  this  I  answer,  that  it  has  been  only  the 
cause  of  these  Evils,  when  People  have  pushed 
it  too  far,  and  not  observed  the  Rules  they 
ought  to  keep  in  Drinking,  and  which  we 
shall  see  here  prescribed  by  and  by.  For 
where  do  we  find,  that  any  one  of  so  many 
grave  Philosophers,  that  used  to  get  drunk, 
made  any  Disorders?  It  was  for  this  reason, 
that  Chrisippus's  Maid  said,  that  her  Master 
was  drunk  in  the  Hams.  And  'twas  on  this 
very  account,  perhaps,  that  the  Stoics  said  of 
their  Sage,  "  That  he  was,  indeed,  to  be  over- 
"  come  with  Wine,  but  would  not,  however, 
"  be  drunk,  Vi?w  obrutum  iri  non  ebrium  tamen 
"  futurum. 

On  the  other  hand,  without  being  willing  to 


THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS    119 

excuse  those  Disorders  which  Drunkenness  has 
been  the  cause  of,  one  may  say,  nevertheless, 
that  some  of  these  disorders  have  produced  ef- 
fects    highly     advantageous.      "Suppose,     for 
'  example,  that  Lot  had  not  got  drunk,  and 
'  his   two  Daughters   had  not  been   possessed 
'  with  the  furious  desire  of  having  Children, 
'  and  the  fear  of  dying  Maids,  you  ruin,  by 
'  this    means,    whole    Families,    who    bore    a 
'  great  part   in   the   wonderful    events  of   the 
'  Children  of  Israel* 

Their  High  Mightinesses  the  States  of  Hol- 
land, have  eternal  obligations  to  Drunkenness, 
since  to  this  they  owe,  in  some  sort,  the  esta- 
blishment of  their  Republic,  which  was  after 
this  manner,  according  to  Stracla.  fThe  same 
day  that  Brederode,  accompanied  by  above  two 
hundred  Gentlemen,  had  presented  that  famous 
Petition  to  Margaret  of  Parma,  who  then  go- 
verned the  Netherlands,  he  gave  a  magnificent 
Entertainment  in  the  House  of  the  Court  of 
Culenbourg,  there  was  no  want  of  Drinking; 
and  as  they  saw  the  Count  of  Hoocstrate,  who 
by  chance  passed  that  way,  they  began,  with 
a  great  deal  of  Joy,  to  give  one  another  the 
Name  of  Oueux-,%  upon  which,  taking  each  of 

*Lett.  16.  sur  la  Crit.  du  Calvin. 

f  Strada  de  Bello  Belgico,  Part  1.  lib.  5. 

$  The  French  word  for  Beggars. 


120    THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS 

them  altogether  great  Glasses  in  their  Hands, 
they  made  Vows  and  Oaths  to  each  other,  by 
the  Name  of  Gueux,  and  cried  out  with  one 
Voice  and  general  Applause,  Long  Live  the 
Gueux.  After  which,  they  promised  mutual 
Fidelity;  and  the  Prince  of  Orange,  and  the 
Counts  of  Egmont  and  Horn,  coming  to  them, 
they  began  to  drink  again,  and  with  great  Ac- 
clamation, renewed  Vows  and  Wishes  with 
these  new  Comers,  as  they  had  already  done, 
for  the  Gueux.  At  last,  in  the  heat  of  Wine, 
they  took  those  vigorous  Resolutions,  the  ef- 
fects of  which  were  afterwards  seen,  which  was 
the  Liberty  of  the  United  Provinces. 


CHAP.  XXI. 

An  Answer  to   the   Objection,   that   the  Mirth 
which  Wine  inspires,  is  chimerical. 

IT  will  be  objected,  without  doubt,  that  the 
Mirth  which  Wine  inspires,  is  imaginary, 
and  without  any  Foundation,  and  that,  as 
Boileau  has  it. 

"  Rien  n'est  beau  que  le  vrai.    Le  vrai  seul  est 
"  amiable. 

Nothing  so  beautiful  as  what  is  true, 
That  it  is  only  lovely  is  its  Due. 

I  very  willingly  own,  that  this  Joy  and  Mirth 
is  nothing  else  than  the  effect  of  our  Imagina- 
tion. 

Full  well  I'm  satisfied  'tis  nothing  all 
But  a  deceitful  Hope,  less  solid  far, 
A  thousand  times,  than  is  the  moving  Sand; 
But  are  not  all  Things  so  with  wretched  Man? 
All  Things  soon  pass  away  like  rapid  Streams 
Which  hasten  to  the  Sea,  where  lost  for  ever 
In  th'  Ocean's  vast  Abyss  unknown  they  lie. 
Our  wisest  Wishes  and  Desires  are  vain, 
Abstracted  Vanities,  gay  painted  Bubbles, 


122   THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS 

That  break  when  touch 'd  and  vanish  into  Air. 
Love,  Wisdom,  Knowledge,    Riches,    Phantoms 
all. 

But  before  we  thoroughly  refute  this  Ob- 
jection, I  shall  observe  by  the  Way,  That 
Errors  and  Illusions  are  necessary  to  the  World. 
*"  In  general,  indeed,  it  is  true  to  say,  that 
the  World,  as  it  is  now,  cannot  keep  itself 
in  the  same  Condition,  were  not  Men  full  of 
a  Thousand  false  Prejudices,  and  unreason- 
able Passions;  and  if  Philosophy  went  about 
to  make  Men  act  according  to  the  clear  and 
distinct  Ideas  of  Reason,  we  might,  perhaps, 
be  satisfied,  that  Mankind  would  quickly  be 
at  an  end.  Errors,  Passions,  Prejudices, 
and  a  hundred  other  the  like  Faults,  are  as 
a  necessary  Evil  to  the  World.  Men  would 
be  worth  nothing  for  this  World,  were  they 
cured,  and  the  greatest  part  of  the  things 
which  now  take  up  our  Time,  would  be  use- 
less, as  Quintilian  well  knew,  namely,  Elo- 
quence. 

Things  are  in  this  condition,  and  will  not 
easily  change,  and  we  may  wait  long  enough 
for  such  a  happy  Revolution,  before  we  shall 
be  able  to  say  with  Virgil. 

"  Magnus  ab  integro  sceclorum  nascitur  ordo. 


Lett.   16.  sur  la  Crit.  de  Calvin,  p.  516. 


THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS    123 

A  Series  long  of  Ages  now  appear. 
Entirely  new  to  Man,  before  unknown. 

On  the  other  Hand,  *  "  If  you  take  away 
"  from  Man,  every  thing  that  is  chimerical, 
"  what  pleasure  will  you  leave  him?  Pleasures 
"  are  not  things  so  solid,  as  to  permit  us  to 
"  search  them  to  the  bottom;  one  must  only 
"  just  touch  them  and  away.  They  resemble 
"  boggy  and  moorish  Ground,  we  must  run 
"  lightly  over  them,  without  ever  letting  our 
"  Feet  make  the  least  Impression. 

No,  wheresoe'er  we  turn  our  wishing  Eye, 
True  Pleasures  never  can  our  Souls  enjoy. 

Let  us  add,  f"  That  if  we  did  not  help  to 
"  deceive  ourselves,  we  should  never  enjoy  any 
"  pleasure  at  all.  The  most  agreeable  things 
"  in  this  World  are,  in  the  bottom,  so  trivial, 
"  that  they  would  not  much  affect  us,  if  we 
"  made  but  ever  so  little  serious  Reflection  upon 
"  them.  Pleasures  are  not  made  to  be  strictly 
"  examined  into,  and  we  are  obliged  every  day 
"  to  pass  over  a  great  many  things  in  them, 
"  about  which  it  would  not  be  proper  to  make 
"  one  self  uneasy. 

Besides,  $"  Is  not  the  illusion  we  enjoy  as 

*  Fontenelle  Dial,  d  'Elisab.  &  du  d  'Alen^on. 

•j- Dial,  des  Morts  de  Callirh.  &  de  Paulin. 

J  Nov.  Dial,  des  Dieux,  p.  68. 


124    THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS 

"  valuable  as  the  good  we  possess?  M.  Fonte- 
"  nelle,  makes  a  very  excellent  observation 
"  hereupon,  in  these  Verses.* 

"  Souvent  en  s'attachaut  a  des  fantomes  vains 
"  Notre  raison  seduite  avec  plaisir  s'egare. 
"  Elle-meme  jouit  I'oojets  qu'elle  a  fenits. 
"  Et  cette  illusion  pour  quelque  terns  repare 
"  Le   defunt   des  vrais   oiens  que  la  nature 

avare 
"  N'a  pas  accordez  aux  humains. 

Often  enchanted  by  the  'luring  Charms 
Of  Phantoms  gay,  our  reason  all  seduc'd, 
With  pleasure  roams  thro'  endless  Desarts  wild, 
Enjoys  the  objects  which  herself  has  form'd. 
And  this  illusion  for  some  time  repairs 
The  want  of  real  Joys,  which  niggard  Nature 
Never  has  granted  to  unhappy  Man. 

"  Enjoyment,  says  Montaigne,^  and  Posses- 
"  sion,  belong  principally  to  Imagination,  which 
"  embraces  more  eagerly  that  which  it  is  in 
"  pursuit  of,  than  that  which  we  have  in  our 
"  power. 

And  certainly,  one  may  pronounce  them 
happy,  who  thus  amuse  themselves,  and  believe 
themselves  to  be  so.  And  indeed,  when  a  man 
is  so  far  gone  in  this  perswasion,  every  thing 


*  Poesies  Pastor. 
f  Essais,  lib.  3.  ch.  9. 


THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS    125 

that  is  alleged  to  the  contrary,  is  rejected  as  a 
fable. 

But  to  shew  at  present,  the  reality,  if  one  may 
say  so,  of  mere  illusion,  we  need  go  no  farther 
than  the  Poets,  who  are  certainly  the  happiest 
mortals  living  in  that  respect. 

To  instance  no  more,  there's  Mr.  , 

who  would  fain  be  a  Rhimer,  and  that's  his 
folly;  but  tho'  the  poor  man  for  his  insipid 
Verses,  and  improper  Epithets,  richly  deserves 
our  pity,  yet  is  he  wonderfully  pleased  with  his 
Performances,  and  with  a  great  deal  of  tran- 
quillity mounts  up  Parnassus,  in  his  own  con- 
ceit, in  loftier  tracts  than  Virgil  or  Theocritus 
ever  knew.  But  alas !  what  would  become  of 
him,  if  some  audacious  person  should  dare  un- 
bind his  eyes,  and  make  him  see  his  weak  and 
graceless  lines,  which,  however  smoothly  they 
may  run,  are  at  best,  but  exquisitely  dull;  con- 
tain terms  that  have  no  meaning  in  them,  and 
have  no  other  ornament,  but  unintelligible  Jin- 
gle, and  initial  Letters?  How  would  he  curse 
the  day  which  deprived  his  senseless  Soul  of  that 
happy  Error  that  so  much  charmed  his 
thovights,  and  amused  his  imagination? 

What  is  here  said  of  the  Poets,  is  applicable 
to  all  mankind;  and  so  a  man,  whom  any  one 
should  undertake  to  persuade,  that  the  mirth 
and  joy  inspired  by  Wine,  is  chimerical,  would 
do  well  to  answer  him,  after  the  manner  a  cer- 


126    THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS 

tain  Mad-man  did  the  Doctor  that  cured  him. 
The  Story  is  this. 

Once  upon  a  time,  a  certain  Bigot,  otherwise 
a  man  of  Sense,  had  his  Brain  a  little  touched 
with  Whimsies,  and  continually  fancied  he 
heard  the  heavenly  Musick  of  the  blessed  Spi- 
rits. At  last  a  Physician,  very  expert  in  his 
Profession,  cured  him,  either  by  his  skill,  or  by 
chance,  no  matter  which;  but  when  he  came  to 
demand  his  Fees;  for  what?  says  the  other  in  a 
violent  passion,  by  your  damned  Slip-Slops, 
and  hellish  Art,  you  have  robbed  me  of  my  Pa- 
radise, tho'  you  have  cured  me  of  my  Error. 
This  I  borrow  from  Boileau*  as  he  did  from 
II  or  ace. \ 

"  $  There  are,  says  Pere  Bouhours,  writing 
"  to  Bussi  Rabutin,  agreeable  Errors,  which 
"  are  much  more  valuable  than  that  which  the 
"  Spaniards  call  Desewgano,  and  which  might, 
"  be  called  in  our  Language  Disabusement,  if 
"  this  Word,  which  one  of  our  best  Writers 
"  has  ventured  upon,  had  been  received." 

We  shall  conclude  with  M.  de  Sacij,§  "  That 
"it  is  not  always  doing  Mankind  an  agreeable 
"  Service  to  dissipate  their  Illusions."  And 
we  say  of  those  who  taste  those  satisfactions 


*  Satire  4.  M.  le  Vayer. 
f  Lib.  2.  Ep.  2. 
t  Lett  de  Rab.  T.  3.  Lett.  63. 
§  De  1  'Amitie,  p.  2. 


THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS    127 

Wine  inpires,  what  M.  Bayle  says  very  plea- 
santly of  News-Mongers,  who  are  still  in  hopes 
of  what  they  wish  for.  "  They  are,*  says  he, 
"  the  least  unhappy,  whatever  happens.  There 
"  is  a  great  deal  of  Reality  in  their  agreeable 
"  Sentiments,  how  ehimercial  soever  their 
"  Foundation  may  be;  so  that  they  do  not  wil- 
"  lingly  suffer  themselves  to  be  disabused,  and 
"  they  sometimes  say,  when  one  gives  them 
"  Reasons  why  they  should  believe  the  News 
"  that  makes  them  so  joyful,  is  doubtful,  or  ab- 
"  solutely  false.  Why  do  you  envy  us  the  Plea- 
"  sures  we  enjoy  f  Do  not  disturb  our  Enter- 
"  tainment,  or  rob  us  of  what  we  hold  most 
"  dear.  A  Friend  more  opposite  to  Error  than 
"  Charity,  is  a  very  troublesome  Reasoner;  and 
"  if  he  meddles  with  their  Chimeras  they'll  en- 
"  deavour  to  do  him  a  Diskindness. 

We  come  now  to  another  Objection,  and 
that  is,  That  this  joy  inspired  by  Wine  is  but 
of  a  very  short  Continuance;  and  the  Pleasure 
one  tastes  in  so  short  a  space,  dearly  repaid 
with  a  long  and  tedious  Uneasiness.  Ebrietas 
unius  horcB  h Harem  insaniam  longo  temporis 
tedio  pensat. 

I  own  that  it  is  a  very  great  misery,  that  our 
Pleasures  are  so  short ;  and  the  shorter  too,  the 
more   exquisite   they   are.     And,   perhaps,   this 


*  Kep.  aux  quest,  d  'un  Prov.  T.  1.  ch.  20. 


128    THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS 

may  be  a  kindness  to  us,  since  some  are  so  su- 
perlatively so,  that  should  they  continue  a  much 
longer  space,  mankind  could  not  support  them- 
selves under  these  Ecstacies.  But  be  this  as  it 
will,  can  we  make  them  otherwise  than  they 
are?  We  must  therefore  have  Patience,  and 
take  them  as  we  find  them.  In  short,  there  is 
no  present  happiness  in  the  World;  all  we  can 
do,  is  to  be  contented  with  the  present,  not  un- 
easy at  what's  to  come,  but  sweeten  with  an 
Equality  of  Soul,  the  bitter  Miseries  of  Human 
Life. 


CHAP.  XXII. 

An  answer  to  the  Objection,  that  one  loses  one's 
Reason  in  getting  Drunk. 

IT  is  objected  here,  that  Reason  ought  to 
be  the  motive  of  all  our  Actions;  and,  of 
consequence,  that  we  ought  not  voluntarily  to 
lose  it. 

To  this  Objection,  I  answer  several  ways. 

First   and   foremost   then,   I   say,   People   do 

well  to  talk  to  us  so  much  of  Reason,   when 

almost    all    Mankind    acts    without   Reason,    so 

that  it  may  pass  for  a  thing  that  has  no  manner 

of    Existence,    but    in    the    Imagination.      We 

shall  prove  this  from  M.  Bayle.     *"  We  are 

'  defined,   says  he,    a   reasonable   Animal.     A 

'  very  fine  definition  indeed,  when  none  of  us 

1  do  any  thing  but  without  Reason.     I  assure 

'  you,  Sir,  that  one  may  say  of  Reason,  what 

'  Euripides  said  in  the  beginning  of  one  of  his 

'  Tragedies,  and  which  afterwards  was  correc- 

'  ted,   on   account   of  the   Murmurings   of  the 

'  People.     0  Jupiter,  For  of  thee  I  know  no- 

1  thing  but  only  the  Name!    In  relation  to  the 

'  Faculty,  I  am  talking  of,  we  know  nothing 

'  more  of  it  than  that,  so  that  we  may  well 


Lett.  22.  sur  la  Crit.  du  Calv.  p.  756. 


130    THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS 

"  laugh  at  the  Complaints  of  that  Heathen 
"  Philosopher,  who  found  that  Reason  was  a 
"  very  troublesome  present  sent  to  us  by  the 
"  Gods,  for  our  Ruin;  for  he  supposed,  that 
"  Reason  busied  herself  in  our  Affairs,  whereas, 
"  the  truth  of  it  is,  she  never  meddles  in  the 
"  least  with  them.  We  act  nothing  but  with 
"  Prejudice,  by  Instinct,  by  Self-love,  and  the 
"  sudden  starts  of  a  Thousand  Passions,  which 
"  drag  and  turn  our  Reason  as  they  will,  in- 
"  somuch,  that  one  may  most  justly  define  the 
"  principle  which  rules  and  domineers  over  us, 
"  A  Mass  of  Prejudices  and  Passions,  which 
"  knows  how  to  draw  Consequences.  I  remem- 
"  ber  to  have  seen  a  Mau,  who,  having  never 
"  heard  mention  made  of  the  Cotta  of  Cicero, 
"  said  nevertheless,  as  well  as  he,  that  it  would 
"  have  been  much  better,  that  God  had  not 
"  made  us  reasonable,  since  Reason  poisons 
"  all  our  Affairs,  and  makes  us  ingenious  to 
"  afflict  ourselves,  upon  which  a  certain  Person 
"  said  to  him  in  Raillery,  That  he  had.  what  he 
"  desired;  that  he  had  received  so  small  a 
"  Share  of  Reason,  that  it  was  not  worth  his 
"  while  to  complain.  For  my  part,  I  turned 
"  the  thing  otherwise,  that  People  were  much 
"  in  the  wrong,  to  murmur  against  Reason, 
1 '  since  it  is  not  that  which  guides  us ;  and 
"  that  it  is  not  too  possible  it  should,  without 
"  overthrowing   the    Order   which   has    reigned 


THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS    131 

"  so  long  in  the  World.  The  learned  Erasmus, 
"  continued  I,  deserves  the  highest  praise  in 
"  this  respect;  he  has  written,  The  Praise  of 
"  Folly,  wherein  he  shows,  that  she  sheds 
"  every  where  her  Influence,  and  without  her, 
"  the  whole  World  would  in  a  short  time,  be 
"  turned  topsy  turvy.  I  make  no  doubt,  Sir, 
"  but  you  know  the  merit  of  that  work.  The 
"  Author  speaks,  tho'  in  a  merry  manner,  the 
"greatest  truths  in  the  world;  and  I  do  not 
"  know,  whether  he  believed  himself  as  profound 
"  a  philosopher  as  he  really  was,  in  that  inge- 
"  nious  Satire. 

Secondly,  This  is  not  all,  *"  It  is  sometimes 
"  necessary,  for  the  general  good  of  the  world, 
"  to  follow  prejudices,  popular  errors,  and  the 
"  blind  instincts  of  Nature,  rather  than  the  dis- 
"  tinct  ideas  of  Reason."  Mr.  Bayle  extends 
himself  farther  on  this  idea  in  another  place, 
which  I  shall  here  insert  f  "  Errors,"  says  he, 
"  irregular  passions,  and  unreasonable  prejudi- 
"  ces,  are  so  necessary  to  the  world,  to  make  it  a 
"  theatre  of  that  prodigious  diversity  of  events 
"  which  make  one  admire  his  providence.  So 
"  that  he  who  would  reduce  men  to  do  nothing 
"  but  according  to  the  distinct  ideas  of  Reason, 
"  would  ruin  civil  society.    If  man  was  reduced 


*  Lett.  Bur  la  Crit.  du  Calv.  Lett.  16.  p.  504. 
f  Ibid.  p.   535. 


132    THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS 

"  to  this  condition,  he  would  have  no  longer 
"  any  desire  of  glory;  and  having  no  longer 
"  that  desire,  is  it  not  true,  that  then  mankind 
"  would  be  like  ice?  I  say,  he  would  have  no 
"  desire  of  glory,  for  right  reason  shews  us, 
"  that  we  should  not  make  our  happiness  de- 
' '  pend  on  the  judgment  of  other  men ;  and  con- 
"  sequently,  that  we  should  not  toil  and  fatigue 
"  ourselves,  to  make  other  people  say  this,  or 

"  that,  of  us The  earnest  desire  of  be- 

"  ing  praised  after  death,  is  an  instinct  of  mo- 
"  rality  that  God  has  impressed  in  the  mind  of 
"  man,  to  keep  up  society.  And  it  is  certain, 
"  that  earnest  desire  has  been  the  cause  of  the 
"  greatest  events;  and  this  ought  to  instruct  us, 
"  that  the  world  stands  in  need  of  a  great  many 
"  instincts,  which,  examined  according  to  the 
' '  ideas  of  our  reason,  are  ridiculous  and  absurd. 
"  For  there  is  nothing  so  opposite  to  reason,  as 
"  to  torment  ourselves  in  this  life,  that  we  may 
"  be  praised  after  we  are  dead,  since  neither 
"  philosophy,  nor  experience,  nor  faith,  nor 
"  any  thing  whatsoever,  makes  it  appear,  that 
"  the  praises  given  us  after  death  can  do  us  any 
"  good.  It  would  be  a  thing  uneasy  to  the 
"  heart  of  man,  if  we  did  nothing  but  according 
"  to  the  light  of  reason;  and  how  many  designs 
"  would  come  to  nothing  at  the  same  time? 

Thirdly,  besides,  Reason  very  often  serves  for 
nothing  but  to  make  us  wretched.    "  The  hap- 


THE  PRAISE  OP  DRUNKENNESS    133 

"  piness  of  men  is  never  the  work  of  Reason." 
Of  all  our  Evils  Reason  is  often  the  worst;  it 
frightens  us  in  the  full  Career  of  our  Pleasures, 
and  with  importunate  Remorses  comes  to  bri- 
dle our  fleet  desires.  The  horrid  Thing  re- 
serves for  us  most  cruel  and  matchless  Rigors. 
'Tis  like  a  troublesome  Pedant  one  is  forced  to 
hear,  who  always  growls,  but  never  touches  us, 
and  frequently  like  D ,  and  such  like  ve- 
nerable impertinents,  lose  the  time  they  em- 
ploy in  Predication. 

"  *  If  there  be  any  happiness,  says  Fonte- 
1  nelle,  that  Reason  produces,  it  is  like  that  sort 
'  of  Health  which  cannot  be  maintained  but 
'  by  the  Force  of  Physic,  and  which  is  ever 
'  most  feeble  and  uncertain."  And  in  another 
Place  he  cries  out,f  "  Can  we  not  have  found 
'  Sight  without  being  at  the  same  time  wretch- 
'  ed  and  uneasy?  Is  there  any  thing  gay  but 
'  Error?  And  is  Reason  made  for  any  thing 
'  else  but  to  torment  and  kill  us?"  $"  What 
'  Cause  have  not  Men  to  bewail  their  wretched 
'  Condition?  Nature  furnishes  them  but  with 
'  a  very  few  things  that  are  agreeable,  and 
'  their  Reason  teaches  them  how  to  enjoy  them 
1  yet  less. "     §  "  And,  why  has  Nature  in  giv- 


*  Dial,  de  M.  Stuart.  &  P.  Riccio. 
f  Dial,  de  Parmen.  &  de  Theb. 
%  Dial,  de  Alexand.  —  Phryne. 
§  Nouv.  Dial,  des  Dieux,  p.  99. 


134   THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS 

"  ing  us  Passions  which  are  sufficient  to  make 
"  us  happy,  given  us  Reason,  that  will  not  suf- 
"  fer  us  to  be  so? 

'Twas  this  same  troublesome  Reason  that 
made  Sophocles  say,  "  *  It  is  very  sweet  to  live, 
"  but  none  of  your  Wisdom,  away  with  her, 
"  she  spoils  Life. 

Vaunt  less  thy  Reason,  0  unhappy  Man! 
Behold  how  useless  is  this  gift  celestial, 
For  which,  they  say,  thou  should 'st  the  rest  dis- 
dain. 
Feeble  as  thou  wert  in  thy  infant  Days, 
Like   thee   she   moved,   she  totter 'd,    and    was 

weak. 
When  Age  mature  arriv'd,  and  call'd  to  Plea- 
sures, 
Slave  to  thy  Sense,   she   still   was  so   to   thee, 
When  fifty  Winters,  Fate  had  let  thee  count; 
Pregnant   with   thousand   cares  and   worlds   of 

woes, 
The  hateful  issue  in  thy  breast  she  threw, 
And  now  grown  old  thou  loosest  her  for  ever. 

Before  I  end  this  chapter,  let  every  body  take 
notice,  that  if  for  having  spoken  so  much  against 
reason,  any  one  should  say  that  it  is  a  plain 
sign  the  Author  has  none ;  and  that  there  are  a 


Moriae  Encom. 


THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS    135 

great   many   others,   who,   in   the   words   of  M. 
La  Motte*  will  be  apt  to  say, 

"  Heureux  cent   fois  VAuteur    avec    qui    Von 

s'oublie 
"  Qui  nous  off  re  un  charmant  poison, 
"Et  nous  associant  a  sa  douce  folie 
"  Nous  affranchit  de  la  raison. 

Happy  the  Author  whose  bewitching  stile 

Life's  tedious  minutes  can  beguile, 
Makes  us,  with  him,  forget  uneasy  care, 

And  not  remember  what  we  are. 
Who  by  a  charm,  which  no  one  can  withstand, 

Enchanting  poison   can  command, 
Can  make  us  share  his  pleasing  foolery, 

And  from  dull  reason  set  us  free. 

And  I  shall  not  be  wanting  to  answer  in  the 
words  of  the  same  gentleman. 

f  "  Buveur's  briser  le  joug  d'une  raison  trop 

fiere 
"  Eteignez  son  triste  flameau 
"  Dautres      enseignent      Vart     cVaugmente     sa 

lumiere 
"  Mais  Vart  eteindre  est  plus  beau. 


*  La  Motte,  Od.  la  Vania 
tOd.  Thalia. 


136    THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS 

Break,  jolly  topers,  break  th'  ungrateful  chain 
Of  reason,  if  she  too  imperious  grow, 

Of  being  disturb 'd  you  never  need  complain, 
If  you  put  out  her  troublesome  flambeau. 

Others  may  teach  the  art  t'  increase  her  fires, 

To  put  them  out  a  finer  art  requires. 


CHAP.  XXIII. 

An  Answer  to  the  Objection,  that  one  cannot 
trust  a  Man  that  gets  Drunk. 

THERE  is  a  Proverb  amongst  the  Jews, 
*"  Ingrediente  vino  egreditur  secretum." 
As  the  Wine  goes  in,  so  the  Secret  goes  out. 
Seneca  f  makes  the  same  objection.  "  As,  says 
"  he,  new  Wine  bursts  the  Vessel,  and  the 
"  Heat  makes  everything  go  upwards,  so  the 
"  force  of  Wine  is  such,  that  it  brings  to  light, 
"  and  discovers,  what  is  most  secret  and  hid- 
"  den." 

In  answer  to  this  objection,  I  say,  that 
people  who  are  naturally  Secret,  are  not  less 
so  after  drinking.  $  "  And  Bacchus  was  not 
'  said  to  be  the  inventor  of  Wine,  on  account 
'  of  the  liberty  of  his  Tongue,  but  because  he 
'  freed  our  minds  from  disquiet,  and  makes 
'  them  more  firm  and  resolute  in  what  we  un- 
'  dertake." 

Besides,  do  we  not  see  every  day,  people  of 
all  Ranks,  Conditions,  and  Characters,  yet 
drunk,    and   yet   we   trust   them   with   Secrets, 


*  Voyage  de  Rouvie,  p.  497. 

fEp.  83. 

|  Seneca  de  Tranquill. 


138    THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS 

and  it  very  rarely  happens  they  speak  of  them, 
when  they  are  drunk.  Thus,  if  we  consult 
History,  we  shall  learn  from  Seneca*  himself, 
that  the  design  of  killing  Caesar,  was  as  well 
communicated  to  Tullius  Cimber,  who  was  a 
great  Drinker,  as  to  C.  Cassius,  who  drank 
nothing  but  Water.  And  tho'  L.  Piso,  Gover- 
nor of  Rome,  got  frequently  drunk,  he,  not- 
withstanding, excellently  acquitted  himself  of 
his  duty.  Augustus  made  no  manner  of  diffi- 
culty to  give  him  secret  instructions,  bestowing 
on  him  the  Government  of  Thrace,  the  Con- 
quest of  which  he  intirely  completed.  Tiberius, 
before  he  left  Borne,  where  he  was  generally 
hated,  in  order  to  retire  into  the  Campania, 
made  choice  of  Costus,  who  was  extremely  given 
to  Wine,  for  Governor  of  that  City,  to  whom 
he  communicated  such  things  as  he  dared  not 
trust  his  own  Ministers  with. 


Seneca,  Ep.  83. 


CHAP.  XXIV. 

An  Answer  to  the  Objection,  that  Drunkenness 
makes  one  incapable  of  performing  the  Duties 
of  Civil  Life. 

I  DENY    this    absolutely,    and   to    prove    the 
contrary,  I  say,  the  Persians  had  a  custom 
to  deliberate  on  things  the  most  serious,  and  of 
the  greatest  importance,  after  hard  Drinking. 
Tacitus  reports  the  same  thing  of  the  Germans. 
Dampier  assures  us,  that   the  same  custom   is 
practised  with  the  Inhabitants  of  the  Isthmus 
Darien.    And  to  go  higher,  one  finds  in  Homer, 
that  during  the  Siege  of  Troy,  the  Greeks,  in 
Council,  did  eat  and  drink  heartily.     An  evi- 
dent proof,  that  this  objection  is  contrary  to 
experience.     But  to  go   farther,  this  same  ex- 
perience made  the  Antients  look  on  those  who 
could  carry  a  great  deal  of  Wine,  as  persons  of 
a    Genius,    very   much   superior   to    those   who 
could  not  drink  at  all.    On  this  account  it  was, 
that  Cyrus,  in  writing  to  the  Lacedemonians, 
the  reasons  which  rendered  him  more  capable 
of    Government,    than    his    Brother,    amongst 
other  things,  takes  Notice,  that  he  could  drink 
more  Wine  than  he.     And  so  many  fine  pro- 
ductions,   for    which    we    are    obliged    to    the 


140   THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS 

Drunkenness  of  the  Poets,  make  it  evidently 
appear,  that  Wine,  far  from  rendering  us  in- 
capable of  doing  any  thing  that  is  good,  rather 
helps  and  incites  us  to  it.  This  important 
truth,   we   shall   confirm  by  several   examples. 

Plutarch  relates,  that  Philip  King  of  Mace- 
don,  after  having  conquered  the  Athenians, 
made  a  Feast,  at  which  he  got  drunk;  and 
that  all  proud  with  that  happy  success,  he 
nevertheless  did  a  great  many  things  intirely 
ridiculous;  but  being  informed  that  the  Ambas- 
sadors, that  the  Athenians  sent  to  him  to  de- 
sire Peace,  wished  to  see  him,  he  changed  his 
Countenance  all  of  a  sudden,  and  having  heard 
their  Proposals  with  all  possible  attention,  an- 
swered them  with  a  great  deal  of  Justice. 

The  Emperor  Bonosus,  who  Amelian  said 
was  born  not  to  live,  but  to  drink,  acted  always 
with  greater  Prudence  after  drinking,  says 
Flavins  Vopiscus,  after  Onesimus* 

We  have  taken  notice,  in  the  foregoing 
Chapter,  that  L.  Piso,  Governor  of  Rome,  tho' 
he  was  often  drunk,  acquitted  himself,  not- 
withstanding, punctually  of  his  duty. 

■\Christiern,  the  4th  King  of  Denmark,  drank 
like    a    Templer,    and    never    King   was    more 


*  Flav.  Vopisc.  in  vita  Bonos. 

f  Amel.  de  la  Houssai  sur  Taeit.  Ann.  Liv.  11.  ch.  35. 


THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS    141 

laborious,  a  greater  Lover  of  his  Subjects,  or 
more  beloved  by  them. 

*  Scaliger  says,  That  a  German  has  as  much 
reason  when  he  is  drunk,  as  when  he  has 
drank  nothing.  Non  minus  sapit  Germanus 
ebrius  quam  sobrius. 

f  Montaigne  speaks  in  his  Essays,  of  a  great 
Lord  of  his  time,  who,  tho'  he  drank  every 
day,  a  prodigious  quantity  of  Wine,  was,  ne- 
vertheless, equally  careful  in  his  affairs.  Ac- 
cording to  which,  that  which  Cicero  says,  is 
not  generally  true,  viz.  "  that  one  must  never 
"  expect  prudence  from  a  Man  that  is  always 
"  drunk."  Nee  enim  ab  Jwmine  nunquam  sob- 
rio  postulanda  prudentia.% 

Another  Proof  that  Drunkenness  does  not 
render  us  incapable  of  doing  any  thing  that  is 
good,  is,  that  it  inspires  People  with  Courage, 
and  even  makes  the  Coward  valiant.  Ad  pre- 
lia  trudit  inertem.  Experience  confirms  this 
Truth.  "  We  see,  says  Montaigne,§  that  our 
"  Germans,  tho'  drowned  in  Wine,  remember 
"  their  Post,  the  Word,  and  their  Rank. 

We  read  in  Spartien,  that  a  certain  Gene- 
ral, having  been  vanquished  by  the  Saracens, 


*  Sealigeriana,  p.  169. 
f  L.  2.  ch.  2. 
X  Orat.  2.  Philip. 
§  Essais,  1.  2.  ch.  2. 


142    THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS 

his  Soldiers  laid  all  the  blame  of  their  Defeat 
on  their  want  of  Wine. 

The  Soldiers  of  the  Army  of  Pescennius 
Niger,  pressed  earnestly  for  Wine,  undoubt- 
edly to  make  them  fight  the  better;  but  he  re- 
fused them  in  these  Words,  You  have  the  Nile, 
said  he,  and  do  you  ask  for  Wine?  In  imita- 
tion, I  suppose,  of  the  Emperor  Augustus,* 
who,  when  the  People  complained  of  the  dear- 
ness  and  scarcity  of  Wine,  said  to  them,  My 
Son-in  Law  Agrippa,  has  preserved  you  from 
Thirst,  by  the  Canals  he  has  made  for  you. 

By  what  has  been  said,  it  plainly  appears, 
that  Wine  is  so  far  from  hindering  a  Man  from 
performing  the  Duties  of  Life,  that  it  rather 
forwards  him,  and  is  an  admirable  ingredient 
in  all  States  and  Conditions,  both  of  Peace 
and  War,  which  made  Horace^  thus  bespeak 
the  God  of  Wine. 

"  Quanquam   choreis  aptior  &  jocis 
"  Ludoque  dictus,  noil  sat  idoneus 
"  Pugnis  ferebaris,  sed  idem 
"  Pads  eras  mediusque  Belli. 

Tho'  thou  more  apt  for  Love  than  furious  War, 
And  gay  Desires  to  move,  thy  chief  est  Care,' 
Yet  War,  and  sweetest  pleasures,  you  can  join, 
Both  Mars  and  Venus  are  Devotes  to  Wine. 


*  Sueton.  in  Vit.  August. 
f  Lib.  2.  Od.  19. 


CHAP.  XXV. 

Burlesque,  ridiculous,  and  out-of-the-Way 
Thoughts,  against  Drunkenness. 

IT  is  reported,  that  Gerson  should  say,  that 
there  was  no  difference  between  a  Man's 
killing  himself  at  one  Stroke,  or  to  procure 
Death  by  several,  in  getting  Drunk. 

Some  body  has  burlesqued  this  Verse  of 
Ovid,* 

Vina  parant  amnios,  faciuntque  coloribus  aptos. 

And  thus  changed  it. 

Vina  parant  asinos,  faciuntque  furoribus  aptos. 

f  Cyneas  alluding  to  those  high  Trees,  to 
which  they  used  to  fasten  the  Vines,  said  one 
Day,  discoursing  on  Wine,  that  it  was  not 
without  reason,  that  his  Mother  was  hanged 
upon  so  high  a  Gibbet. 

X  ' '  The  diversion  that  People  took  hereto- 
"  fore,  in  making  one  another  drunk,  appeared 
"  more  heinous  to  St.  Augustine,  than  an 
"  Assassination,  for    he    maintained,  that  those 


*  Sphinx  Theol.  p.  682. 

f  Diver,  cur.  T.  1.  p.  141. 

X  Rep.  des  Lett.  Jan.  1687.  Art.  1. 


144   THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS 

who  made  any  one  drunk,   did  him  greater 

injury,  than  if  they  had  given  him  a  Stab 

with   a  Dagger. 

*  "  A  Greek  Physician  wrote  once  a  Letter 

to   Alexander,   in   which   he   begged   him    to 

remember,    that    every   time    that   he    drank 

Wine,  he  drank  the  pure  Blood  of  the  Earth, 

and  that  he  must  not  abuse  it. 

f  ' '  Some  Poets   say,   that  it  was  the  Blood 

of  the  Gods,  wounded  in  their  Battle  with 

the  Giants. 

% "  The   Sevcrians   in   St.   Epiphanius,   hold, 

that  it  was  engendered  by  a  Serpent,  and  it 

is  for  that  reason  that  the  Vine  is  so  strong. 

And    the    Encratites,   in   the   same   Author, 

imagine  to  themselves,  that  it  was  the  Gall 

of  the  Devil.    • 

"  Noah§    in    an    hour    of    drunkenness,    says 

St.  Jerom,  let  his  body  be  seen  naked,  which 

he  had  kept  covered  for  six  hundred  years." 


*  Androcydes. 

f  Entret.  de  Venture,  &  de  Costar,  Lett.  29. 

$  Lib.  1.  Heres.  47. 

§  Ep.  ad  Ocean. 


CHAP.  XXVI. 
A  ridiculous  Aversion  that  some  have  to  Wine. 

AN  aversion  to   Wine   is  a  thing  not   very 
common;   and  there   are  but  a  very  few 
but  will  say  with  Catullus. 

"  At  vos  quo  lubet,  hinc  abite  lymphce 
"  Vini  pernicies. 

Pernicious  Water,  bane  to  Wine,  begone. 

One  should  certainly  be  very  much  in  the 
wrong  to  put  in  the  number  of  those  who  had 
an  Aversion  to  Wine,  the  Duke  of  Clarence. 
His  Brother  Edward  the  Fourth,  prejudiced 
with  the  Predictions  of  Merlin,  as  if  they  fore- 
told, that  one  Day,  that  Duke  should  usurp  the 
Crown  from  his  Children,  resolved  to  put  him 
to  Death,  he  only  gave  him  the  liberty  to  chuse 
what  Death  he  would  die  of.  The  Duke  being 
willing  to  die  a  merry  Death,  chose  to  be 
drowned  in  a  Butt  of  Malmesey.  Not  unlike 
him  on  whom  this  Epigram  was  made. 

"  *  In  cyatho  vini  pleno  cum  musca  periret, 
"  Sic  ait  Oeneus,   sponte  perire  velim. 


*Eem.  sur  Babel.  T.  4.  eh.  93. 


146    THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS 

In  a  full  Glass  of  Wine  expir'd  a  Fly, 
So,  said  Oeneus,  would  I  freely  die. 

But  let  us  come  in  earnest  to  those  who  have 
really  had  an  Antipathy  to  Wine.  Herbelet* 
in  his  Bibliotheque  Orientale,  says,  that  there 
are  some  Mussulmans  so  superstitious,  that  they 
will  not  call  Wine  by  its  true  Name,  which  is 
Schamr  and  Nedibh;  and  that  there  are  some 
Princes  amongst  them  that  have  forbidden  the 
mentioning  of  it,  by  express  Laws.  The  Rea- 
son of  all  this  is,  the  Prohibition  of  Mahomet 
to  his  Followers,  which  enjoyns  them  not  to 
drink  Wine.  The  occasion  of  which  Prohibi- 
tion is  as  follows.  "  fThey  say,  that  passing 
' '  one  day  thro '  a.  Village,  and  seeing  the  People 
"  in  the  Mirth  of  Wine  embracing  and  kissing 
"  one  another,  and  making  a  Thousand  Protes- 
"  tations  of  Friendship,  he  was  so  charmed  with 
"  the  Sight,  that  he  blest  the  Wine  as  the  best 
"  thing  in  the  World.  But  that,  at  his  return, 
"  observing  the  same  place  full  of  Blood,  and 
"  having  been  informed,  that  the  same  Men 
"  whom  he  had  seen  before  so  merry,  had,  at 
"  last  changed  their  mirth  into  rage,  and  been 
"  fighting  with  their  swords,  he  recalled  his 
"  benediction,  and  cursed  wine  for  ever,  on  ac- 
"  count  of  the  bad  effects  it  produced." 


*Page  777. 

f  Du  Mont.  Voyag.  T.  3.  Let.  5. 


THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS    147 

It  is  one  of  the  chief  Commandments  amongst 
the  Siameze,  to  drink  no  wine,  nor  any  liquor 
that  will  procure  drunkenness.* 

f  ' '  Drunkenness  is  detested  in  most  parts  of 
"  hot  Countries.  It  is  looked  upon  there  as 
"  infamous.  The  greatest  affront  you  can  give 
"  a  Spaniard,  is  to  call  him  Drunkard.  I  have 
"  been  assured,  continues  M.  Bayle,  a  Servant, 
"  if  his  master  should  call  him  so,  might  bring 
"  his  Action  at  Law  against  him,  and  recover 
"  damages,  tho'  any  other  name  he'll  suffer  very 
"  patiently,  and  without  any  right  of  complaint 
"  of  being  injured  in  his  reputation,  as  Rogue, 
"  Hang-dog,  B ,  &c." 

Empedocles,  we  may  well  conclude,  loved  not 
wine,  which  he  called,  Water  putrified  in  Wood. 

X  Amongst  the  Locrians,  Seleucus  had  such 
an  aversion  to  wine,  that  he  forbad  any  one  to 
drink  it  under  pain  of  Death,  or  even  give  it  to 
the  sick. 

Apollonius  Thyanaius  never  drank  any  Wine, 
no  more  than  St.  Fulgentius,  Bishop,  8.  Ste- 
phen King  of  Poland,  and  Cardinal  Emeri. 

§  "  The  Severians,  Disciples  of  Severus,  in 
"  the  time  of  Pope  Sothcrns,  condemned  abso- 
"  lutely  Wine,  as  a  creature  of  the  Devil." 

*  Chaumont  Voyag.  de  Siam. 
f  Bayle  Diet.  T.  2.  p.  1266. 
t  JEMan,  lib.  2.  ch.  33. 
§  Du  Mont.  Voyag.  T.  3.  Lit.  5. 


148    THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS 

*  The  Emperor  Frederic  the  Third,  seeing 
his  Wife  barren,  consulted  the  Physicians  upon 
the  case,  who  told  him,  that  if  the  Empress 
would  drink  wine  she  might  be  fruitful.  But 
he  told  them,  like  a  simpleton  as  he  was,  that 
he  had  rather  his  Wife  should  be  barren  and 
sober,  than  be  fruitful  and  drink  Wine.  And 
the  Empress  being  informed  of  the  wise  answer 
of  the  Imperial  Ninny-Hammer  her  Husband, 
said  full  as  wisely,  that  if  she  was  to  be  put  to 
her  choice,  to  drink  Wine  or  die  she  should 
make  no  manner  of  hesitation,  but  prefer  death. 

Be  nimia  Sapientia  libera  nos  Domine. 


*  Bee.  choise  d  'Hist. 


CHAP.  XXVII. 

Rigorous  Laws  against  Wine  and  Drunkenness. 

IT  is  easy  to  imagine,  that  Princes,  who  did 
not  love  Wine  themselves,  would  make 
very  rigorous  Laws  against  Drunkenness,  and 
fall  into  that  Fault  which  Horace  speaks  of. 

Dum  vitant  stulti  vitia  in  contraria  currunt. 

But  this  Maxim,  Nullum  violentum  durabile, 
has  been  verified  a  great  many  times,  upon 
this  subject  of  Drunkenness,  for  all  the  Laws 
made  against  it  have  not  long  subsisted. 

*Pentheus,  King  of  Thebes,  endeavored  to 
extirpate  entirely  the  Custom  of  getting  Drunk, 
but  he  did  not  find  his  Account  in  it,  for  he 
was  very  ill  treated  by  his  Subjects  for  his 
pains. 

f  Lycurgus,  King  of  Thrace,  commanded  all 
the  Vines  of  the  Country  to  be  cut  up,  for 
which  he  was  justly  punished  by  Bacchus.  He 
also  made  Laws  against  Drunkenness,  which 
one  may  reckon  amongst  the  bad  ones  that  he 
instituted,     As, 


*  Sphinx  Theol.  669. 
f  Hist.  7  Sap. 


150    THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS 

I.  The  using  Women  in  common. 

II.  The  Nudity  of  young  Women  in  certain 
solemn  Festivals. 

*  "  Pittacus,  one  of  the  wise  Men  of  Greece, 
"  commanded,  that  he  who  committed  a  fault, 
"  when  he  was  drunk,  should  suffer  double 
"  Punishment.  And  amongst  the  Laws  of 
"  Solon,  there  was  one,  which  condemned  to 
"  Death  the  chief  Magistrate,  if  he  got  Drunk. 
"  Amongst  the  Indians,  who  only  just  touch 
"  Wine  in  the  Ceremonies  of  their  Sacrifices, 
"  the  Law  commands,  that  the  Women  who 
"  killed  one  of  their  Kings,  should  get  drunk, 
"  and  marry  his  Successor. 

f  The  Athenians  had  also  very  severe  Laws 
against  those  that  should  get  drunk;  but  one 
may  say,  these  Laws  resembled  those  of  Draco, 
which  were  written  rather  with  Blood  than  Ink. 

We  come  now  to  the  Turks.  Sir  Paul 
Bicaut,%  tells  us  several  particulars  on  this 
Head.  Amurath,  says  he,  resolved  in  the 
Year  1634,  to  forbid  entirely  the  use  of  Wine. 
He  put  out  a  severe  Edict,  which  commanded 
all  the  Houses  where  they  sold  Wine  to  be 
razed,  the  Barrels  where  ever  they  should  be 
found,  to  be  staved,  and  the  Wine  to  be  let 


*Chevreana,  T.   1.  p.  217. 

f  Hist.  7  Sap. 

|  See  his  Turkish  Hist. 


THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS    151 

out  into  the  Streets.  And  that  he  might  truly 
be  satisfied  his  orders  were  obeyed,  he  frequent- 
ly disguised  himself,  and  walked  in  that  manner 
about  the  City;  and  when  he  found  any  one 
carrying  wine,  he  sent  him  to  prison,  and  had 
him  bastinadoed  almost  to  death.  One  day  he 
met  in  the  streets  a  poor  deaf  man,  who  not 
hearing  the  noise  usually  made  at  the  approach 
of  the  Sultan,  did  not  soon  enough  avoid  a 
Prince  whose  presence  was  so  fatal.  This  ne- 
gligence cost  him  his  life.  He  was  strangled 
by  order  of  the  Grand  Seignior,  who  command- 
ed his  body  to  be  cast  into  the  Street.  But  this 
great  severity  did  not  last  long,  and  all  things 
returned  to  their  former  condition. 

However,  matters  took  again  another  turn 
under  the  Reign  of  Mahomet  the  IVth.  who 
in  1670  resolved  to  forbid  all  the  Soldiery  the 
use  of  Wine.  The  terrible  seditions  that  liquor 
had  formerly  raised  were  remembered,  and 
especially,  that  which  happened  under  Maho- 
met the  Third,  who  had  his  Seraglio  forced  by 
a  great  multitude  of  Soldiers  full  of  Wine,  and 
whose  fury  he  could  not  free  himself  from,  but 
by  sacrificing  his  principal  favourites.  An 
Edict  was  published,  to  prohibit  entirely  the 
use  of  Wine,  and  to  command  all  those  who 
had  any  in  their  houses,  to  send  it  out  of  Town. 
The  same  extended  all  over  the  empire.  The 
Sultan  condemned  to  Death  those  who  should 


152    THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS 

violate  this  decree,  in  which  he  spoke  of  Wine 
as  a  liquor  infernal,  invented  by  the  Devil  to 
destroy  the  Souls  of  Men,  to  disturb  their  rea- 
son, and  put.  States  into  combustion.  This  was 
rigorously  put  in  execution,  and  to  that  extre- 
mity, that  it  cost  the  Ambassador  of  England, 
and  the  Christian  Merchants  of  Constantinople 
great  solicitation,  and  large  sums  of  money,  to 
get  leave  to  make  only  as  much  wine  as  would 
suffice  for  their  own  families.  At  Smyrna,  the 
Officers  of  the  Grand  Seignior  had  not  the  same 
indulgence  for  the  Christians,  who  were  one 
whole  year  without  wine ;  and  it  was  with  great 
difficulty  they  got  leave  to  import  it  from  the 
Isles  of  the  Archipelago,  and  other  places,  not 
comprized  in  that  prohibition.  For  this  prohi- 
bition reached  only  those  places  where  there 
were  Mosques.  Besides  all  this,  they  made  every 
Friday  Sermons  stuffed  full  of  declamations 
against  those  who  should  drink  it.  In  short, 
this  Edict  was  so  severe,  that  Wine  seemed  to 
be  banished  for  ever  the  States  of  the  Grand 
Seignior.  But  in  about  a  year's  time  its  seve- 
rity was  somewhat  remitted.  The  Ambassa- 
dors, and  other  Christians  had  leave  to  make 
Wine  within  themselves,  and  about  a  year  after 
that,  the  indulgence  for  Wine  was  general,  the 
Taverns  were  opened,  and  at  this  day  that 
liquor  is  as  common  as  it  was  before. 


CHAP.    XXVIII. 

Rules  to  be  observed  in  getting  Drunk.     I.  Not 
too  often.     II.  In  good  Company. 

TO  avoid  the  disorders  that  Drunkenness 
might  cause,  here  are  some  Rules  that 
ought  to  be  observed  in  this  important  affair  of 
getting  Drunk;  for,  according  to  Pliny,  the 
Art  of  getting  Drunk,  has  its  Laws. 

H(ec  ars  suis  legibus  constat. 

I.  The  first,  and  principal  of  these,  is  not 
to  get  drunk  too  often.  This  is  what  *  Seneca 
recommends  very  much.  "  You  must  not, 
"  says  he,  do  it  often,  for  fear  it  grow  into  a 
"  Habit;  'tis  but  only  sometimes,  you  should 
"  make  your  spirits  gay  in  banishing  gloomy 
"  sobriety." 

And  if  any  person  objects,  that  if  one  gets 
drunk  sometimes,  one  shall  do  it  often.  I 
deny  the  consequence,  and  say  in  the  Words 
of  the  Philosopher,  an  axiom  held  by  both 
Universities,  that 

Ab  actu  ad  liabitum  non  valet  consequentia. 


*  De  Tranquillitate. 


154    THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS 

II.  Second  Rule.  One  must  not  get  drunk 
but  in  good  Company.  That  is  to  say,  with 
good  Friends,  people  of  wit,  honour,  and 
good  humour,  and  where  there  is  good  Wine. 
For  example,  a  Man  in  former  times  would 
have  done  very  ill  to  get  drunk  with  Helioga- 
balus,  whose  historian  *  reports,  that  after  hav- 
ing made  his  friends  drunk,  he  used  to  shut 
them  up  in  an  apartment,  and  at  night  let  loose 
upon  them  Lions,  Leopards,  and  Tygers,  which 
always  tore  to  pieces  some  of  them.  On  the 
other  Hand,  the  best  Wine  in  the  World  will 
taste  very  bad  in  bad  Company.  'Tis  there- 
fore, that  Martial  reproaches  one,  that  he 
spoiled  his  good  Wine  with  his  silly  babling. 

Verbis  mucida  vina  fads. 


*  ^liua  Lamprid.  in  Vit.  Heliogab. 


CHAP.  XXIX. 
Third  Rule,  With  good  Wine. 

WHEN  one  has  a  mind  to  get  drunk, 
one  should  make  choice  of  good  wine, 
and  not  drink  bad,  which  is  prejudicial  to 
health.  For  example,  green  wine  is  very  bad; 
this  *Guilleaume  Cretin,  a  great  punster,  has 
expressed  in  these  Verses,  which,  I  own,  I  am 
not  able  to  put  into  English. 

"  Par  ce  vin  verds  Atropos  a  trop  os 
"  Des  corps  humains  ruez  envers  en  vers 
"  Dont  un  quidam  apre  aux  pots  a  propos 
"  A  fort  blame  les  tours  pervers  en  vers. 

Good  wine,  on  the  contrary,  has  very  good 
effects.  Erasmus  f  preserved  himself  from  the 
plague,  by  drinking  a  glass  of  Burgundy,  at  a 
proper  season. 

You  see  now  the  efficacy  of  good  wine,  which, 
to  be  in  its  perfection,  the  adepts  in  the  Free 
Schools  of  Liber  Pater  say,  must  have  these 
four  properties,  and  please  these  four  senses; 
the  taste  by  its  savour,  the  smell  by  its  flavour, 


*  Kem.  sur  Eabel.  T.  3.  p.  39. 
f  Journ.  des  Scav.  June,   1706. 


156    THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS 

the  sight  by  its  clean  and  bright  colour,  and 
the  ear  by  the  fame  of  the  Country  where  it 
grows.  Old  wine  was  looked  upon  to  be  the 
best  by  the  Antients. 

A  beauty,  when  advanc'd  in  age, 
No  more  her  lovers  can  engage, 
But  wine,  the  rare  advantage,  knows, 
It  pleases  more,  more  old  it  grows. 

And  were  they  never  so  old  themselves, 
they  would  still,  if  possible,  have  the  wine 
older  than  they  were.  Nee  cuiquam  adeo  longa 
erat  vita,  ut  non  ante  se  genita  potaret*  Which 
these  words  of  Seneca,]  also  confirm,  "  why  at 
"  your  houses  do  you  drink  wine  older  than 
"  your  self?  Cur  apud  te  vinum  apud  te  vet- 
"  ustius  bibitur." 

"  De  sinuessanis  venerunt  Massiea  prcelis: 
"  Condita  quo  quazris  consule?  nxdlus  erat. 

At  present,  the  fame  of  the  best  wine  in 
Europe,  is  reckoned  to  be,  that  of  Monte  Fia- 
scone,  two  days  journey  from  Borne.  Here  it 
was  a  German  Abbot  killed  himself  by  drinking 
too  much  of  this  delicious  creature.  The  story 
is  this,  and  it  is  related  in  Lassell's  Travels. 

A  certain  German  Abbot,  travelling  to  Borne, 

*  Plin. 

f  De  Vit.  beat.  ch.  17. 


THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS    157 

ordered  his  Servant  to  ride  before  him,  and 
when  he  found  the  best  wine,  to  chalk  upon  the 
Door  of  the  Inn,  (in  order  to  save  time)  the 
Word  EST.  Coming  to  Monte  Fiascone,  he 
found  it  so  excellent,  that  he  put  down,  Est, 
Est,  Est,  which  the  Abbot  finding  true,  drank 
so  plentifully  of  it,  that  he  went  no  farther  on 
his  journey,  but  lies  buried,  they  say,  in  the 
Cathedral  Church,  with  his  Epitaph,  written 
by  his  Servant,  the  Purveyor. 

Est,  Est,  Est, 

& 

Propter  nimium  Est, 

Herus  mens  Dominus  Abbas 

mortuus  Est. 

The  wine  called  Lachrymal  Christi,  or  the 
Tears  of  Christ,  is  a  most  delicious  wine.  At 
least  a  Master  of  Arts  of  the  University  of 
Cologn,  thought  so,  who  going  also  to  Rome, 
drank  at  the  same  place,  pretty  heartily  of  it, 
and  out  of  the  abundance  of  his  heart,  cried 
out,  H; 

TJtinam  Christ  us  lachrymatus  fuisset  in  nostra 
Patria. 

I  wish  Christ  had  shed  Tears  in  our  Country. 


158    THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS 

M.  Ho f man  believes,  that  Rhenish  wine  is 
the  best  of  all  wines  for  one's  health. 

There  grows  also  most  excellent  wines  in 
Frayxce,  such  as  Champagne. 

*  Wenceslaus,  King  of  Bohemia  and  the 
Romans,  being  come  into  France,  on  account 
of  some  Negotiations  with  Charles  the  6th, 
arrived  at  Rheims,  in  the  Month  of  March, 
1397,  when  he  was  in  that  City,  he  found  the 
wine  so  good,  that  he  got  drunk  more  than 
once;  and  being  one  day  in  that  condition, 
that  he  could  not  enter  into  any  serious  dis- 
courses, he  rather  choose  to  grant  what  was 
asked  of  him,  than  leave  off  drinking. 

The  wines  of  Burgundy  must  not  be  for- 
gotten, which  some  prefer  to  Champagne. 
"  Baudius  called  Vin  de  Beaulne,  Vinum  Deo- 
"  rum  the  wine  of  the  Gods." 

The  wines  of  Ai,  are  also  very  excellent. 
S.  EvremontX  says,  that  Leo  the  10th,  Charles 
the  5th,  Francis  the  1st,  and  Hen.  8th,  King 
of  England,  did  not  think  it  below  their  Dig- 
nity, amongst  the  most  important  affairs  of 
State,  to  take  care  to  have  the  wines  of  Ai. 
Henry  TV.  caused  himself  to  be  stiled  Lord  of 
Ai,  and  Gonesse. 


*  Journ.  de  Sqav.  June,  1706. 
f  Patimana,  p.  44. 
X  Lett.  S.  Evrem. 


THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS    159 

But  I  shall  desire  rny  readers  here  to  ob- 
serve two  things,  First,  That  artificial  wines, 
and  many  other  liquors,  containing  a  great 
deal  of  gross  viscous  matter,  excite  a  Drunken- 
ness, more  long  and  dangerous,  than  that 
which  is  produced  by  ordinary  wines.  Another 
thing  is,  never  to  get  drunk  with  Brandy, 
Spirits,  and  Strong  Waters.  Patin*  says 
very  pleasantly,  that  these  are  sugar 'd  Poisons, 
which  surely  kill :  they  give  life  to  those  who 
sell  them,  and  death  to  those  who  use  them. 


Vign.  Marvill,  T.  2.  p.  7. 


CHAP.  XXX. 

Fourth  Rule,  At  convenient  Times. 

THO'  one  must  not  get  drunk  every  day, 
one  may,  notwithstanding,  on  certain  oc- 
casions. One  must  sometimes  unbend  the 
mind. 

Necum  semper  arcum  tendit  Apollo. 

And  when  a  Man  puts  on  the  air  of  a  Philo- 
sopher, 'tis  then  he  turns  Fool  in  affecting  to 
be  wise. 

There  is  a  time  for  all  things,  and  so  there  is 
in  getting  drunk,  that  is,  getting  drunk  with 
decency  and  decorum ;  and  there  are  some  times 
which  are  not  convenient  to  do  so.  As  for  ex- 
ample (for  I  love  to  illustrate  what  I  advance) 
it  does  not  suit  with  decorum  for  a  Judge  to  be 
drunk  on  the  Bench;  nor  a  Crier  in  the  Court 

exercising  his   Office    [hiccup,   ki Book] 

a  Parson  in  the  Pulpit;  an  Experimental  Philo- 
sopher in  shewing  of  his  Gimcracks;  nor  a 
Free-Mason  on  the  top  of  a  Church  Steeple. 

But  it  suits  very  well  with  strict  Decorum, 
to  get  drunk  at  a  public  rejoicing  after  a  signal 
Victory. 


THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS     161 

When  the  proud  Gaul  sustained  an  overthrow 
By  the  immortal  MARLBOROUGH, 
Ever  invincible !  then  you  and  I, 
My  Thirsis,  shar'd  the  common  joy. 
Blenheim   and  Eameillies   were  then  our  song, 
The  Day  tho'  short,  the  Night  was  long, 
Till  both  with  mighty  Claret  glow'd, 
And  tipsy,   to   our  Beds   were   show'd. 

We  may  also  very  decently  get  drunk  with  a 
Friend  we  have  not  seen  a  long  while. 

Here   'tis !  0  welcome,  Flask  divine, 

How  bright  does  thy  vermillion  shine ! 

Thou  charming  native  of  Dijon* 

At  thy  approach  my  cares  are  flown, 

Sad  Melancholy  is  no  more, 

Which  rack'd  and  plagu'd  my  soul  before. 

Whether  thy   influence   incites, 

(Sweet  influence)  to  soft  delights; 

Or  else  doth  other  measures  keep, 

And  gently  urge  to  peaceful  sleep. 

0  may'st  thou  still  such  streams  bestow, 

Still  with  such  ruddy  torrents  flow. 

Damon,  this  Bottle  is  your  due, 

And  more  I  have  in  store  for  you, 

Under  the  sun  the  faithfullest  friend : 

I've  kept  them  for  no  other  end. 

Drink  then  a  bumper,  'tis  a  folly, 

Dear  Damon,  to  be  melancholy. 

*  Dijon,  chief  City  in  Burgundy. 


162    THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS 

However  rigorous  the  Roman  Laws  were 
against  drunkenness,  they  permitted  it  never- 
theless on  their  Festivals  •,  witness  what  a  young 
Man  said  to  his  Father  in  presence  of  the  Peo- 
ple.* "  No,  Father,"  says  he,  "I  have  no 
' c  reason  to  be  ashamed  for  having  taken  a  little 
"  more  wine  than  ordinary  at  a  feast  with  my 
"  companions."  Non  est  res  qua  embescam, 
Pater  si  die  festo  inter  cequales  largiore  vino  fui 
usus. 

The  Persian  Soldiers,  who  otherwise  lived 
very  soberly,  were  permitted  to  get  drunk  once 
a  year.f 

In  Georgia,  he  who  did  not  get  quite  drunk 
at  their  principal  Holidays,  as  at  Easter  and 
Christmas,  was  not  looked  upon  to  be  a  Chris- 
tian, and  ought  to  be  excommunicated.  $So 
that,  according  to  this,  getting  drunk  at  certain 
convenient  times  amongst  these  Christians,  was 
so  far  from  being  unlawful,  that  a  man  was  not 
looked  upon  to  be  orthodox  without  he  did  so. 
Getting  drunk  is  therefore  very  Orthodox. 


*  Tit.  Liv.  lib.  4.  ch.  14. 

f  Alex.  ab.  Alex.  lib.  2.  ch.  11. 

f  Voyag.  de  Chard.  T.  2.  129. 


CHAP.  XXXI. 
Fifth  Rule,  To  force  no  one  to  drink. 

IT  is  very  ridiculous  and  unreasonable  to 
force  any  one  to  drink,  because  the  taking 
away  Liberty  spoils  Company,  the  Benefit  of 
which  cannot  subsist  without  Freedom.  Be- 
sides, every  Man's  Capacity  of  drinking  is  not 
the  same;  one  shall  be  able  to  drink  a  Gallon, 
and  another  a  Pint;  the  latter  therefore,  by 
drinking  a  Pint,  has  drank  as  much  as  the  for- 
mer when  he  has  taken  off  his  Gallon,  because 

they  both  have  drank  as  they  can,  and  

Ferdinando  No  Man  can  do  more  than 

he  can  do.  Let  every  Man  therefore  have  the 
Liberty  to  drink  as  he  pleases,  without  being 
tied  up  to  the  same  laws  of  drinking.  I  am  of 
the  opinion  in  this  matter  with  brother  Horace. 

Prout  ciuq;  libide  est 


Siccat  inequales  calices  conviva  solutus 
Legibus  insanis,  sen  quis  capit  acria  fortis 
Pocula,  sen  modicis  humescit  laetius  

We  learn  from  history,  that  there  was  an  an- 
tient  law  amongst  the  Persians,  that  forbad  any 


164    THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS 

one  to  force  another  to  drink.     The  Lacedemo- 
nians also  had  that  landable  custom. 

Charlemagne  also  made  a  law,  that  prohibit- 
ed forcing  any  one  to  drink. 

Mr.  Bayle  reports  a  very  pleasant  revenge 
that  M.  Peyren  gave  to  Raphael  Thorius,  a 
very  learned  person,  who  would  force  him  to 
drink,  which  take  as  follows.  *  "  M.  Peyren, 
"  dining  at  London  with  several  persons  of 
"  learning,  could  not  be  discharged  from  drink- 
"  ing  a  health  that  Dr.  Thorius  toasted.  The 
"  Glass  was  of  a  prodigious  size,  which  M.  Pey- 
"  ren,  for  that  reason,  a  long  while  refused, 
"  and  alleged  a  thousand  reasons,  but  all  in 
1 '  vain :  He  must  empty  the  Glass.  Before  he 
"  did  it  he  made  this  agreement  with  his  anta- 
"  gonist,  that  he  should  drink  a.  health  after- 
' '  wards  that  he  should  toast  to  him ;  which  be- 
"  ing  consented  to,  he  took  off  the  Bumper, 
1 '  and  filled  the  glass  full  of  Water,  and  drank 
"it  off  to  the  Doctor,  who  thereupon  was 
"thunder-struck,  but  seeing  he  could  not  get 
"  off,  sighed  deeply,  and  lifted  the  Glass  a 
"  thousand  times  to  his  lips,  and  as  often  drew 
' '  it  back  again :  He  called  to  his  assistance  all 
"  the  quaint  sayings  of  the  Greek  and  Latin 
"  poets,  and  was  almost  the  whole  day  drinking 
"  that  cursed  Bumper." 


Diction,  p.  2875.  Art.  Thor. 


THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS    165 

This  is  not  much  unlike  what  M.  Chevreau 
reports  of  Marigni,  who,  *  ' '  after  having  dined 
' '  at  one  of  the  best  eating  houses  in  Frankfort, 
"  with  six  or  seven  persons  of  quality,  was  call- 
"  ed  to  the  sideboard,  where  one  of  them  began 
"  the  Emperor's  health.  This  he  must  drink, 
"  and  as  he  foresaw  very  well,  that  this  extra- 
"  vagance  would  be  attended  with  others,  he 
"  ordered  three  or  four  great  pieces  of  bread  to 
"  be  brought  to  him,  and  having  eaten  half  of 
"  one  to  the  health  of  the  King  of  France,  he 
"  gave  the  other  half  to  the  other,  who  took  it, 
"  indeed,  but  would  not  so  much  as  put  it  to 
"  his  mouth.  The  company  surprised  at  so  un- 
' '  expected  a  novelty,  let  him  alone  without  any 
"  contradiction." 

Nevertheless,  one  should  be  very  diligent  in 
observing  this  rule,  which  is,  That  when  we 
find  ourselves  in  the  company  of  people  that 
drink,  and  would  not  run  those  lengths  they 
are  going  to  do,  to  retire ;  and  this  was  a  stand- 
ing law  amongst  the  Greeks  in  their  festivals, 
and  ought  to  be  as  unalterable  as  the  laws  of 
the  Medes  and  Persians,  viz. 

Drink,  or  go  about  your  business. 


*  Chevrjeana,  T.  2.  p.  188. 


CHAP.  XXXII. 

Sixth  Rule.  Not  to  push  Drunkenness  too  far. 

IT  is  certain,  that  to  do  well,  we  ought  con- 
tinually to  have  an  eye  to  this  maxim  of 
Horace,  viz.  Est  modus  in  rebus.  And  the 
Ne  quid  nimis  of  Terence.  But  especially,  in 
this  grand  and  most  important  affair  of  Drunk- 
enness. Seneca  very  well  distinguishes  two 
sorts  of  Drunkenness,  one  which  entirely  buries 
our  Reason;  and  the  other,  which  only  diverts 
Melancholy  and  Chagrin.  The  last  we  believe 
to  be  very  lawful :  But  we  would  have  it  go  far- 
ther, even  so  far,  as  not  only  to  divert,  but  to 
drive  away  our  cares  entirely,  or  else  not  to  get 
drunk  at  all.  That  which  is  between  these,  if 
any  such  there  can  be,  does  an  injury,  accord- 
ing to  the  Poet. 

Aut  nulla  Ebrietas,  aut  tanta  sit  ut  tibi  curas 
Eripiat,  si  quce  est  inter  utramque  nocet. 

After  this  manner  would  we  have  People  use 
the  Juice  of  the  Grape;  that  is,  to  go  so  far, 
as  to  make  our  Hearts  merry,  gay,  and  spright- 
ly, and  so  as  to  forget  our  cares. 

It  would  be  here  useless  to  shew,  by  a  great 
many   examples,   the   Disorders   that  Drunken- 


THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS    167 

ness  has  caused,  when  pushed  too  far,  because 
it  was  never  the  intention  of  this  work,  but  to 
divert,  (as  Wine  was  designed  to  do,)  and 
make  merry,  I  shall  therefore  conclude  the 
whole  with  an  Ode  to  Bacchus,  as  follows: 

ODE  TO  BACCHUS 
I. 

LET'S    sing    the    Glories    of    the    God    of 
Wine, 

May  his  immortal  Praise 
Be  the  eternal  Object  of  our  Song, 
And  sweetest  Symphonies;  may  ev'ry  Tongue 

And  throat  sonorous,  vocal  Music  raise, 
And  ev'ry  grateful  Instrument  combine 
To  celebrate,  great  God,  thy  Power  Divine. 
Let  other  Poets  to  the  World  relate, 
Of  Troy,  the  hard,  unhappy  Fate; 

And  in  immortal  Song  rehearse, 
Purpled  with  streams  of  Blood,  the  Phrygian 

Plain ; 
The  glorious  His 'try  of  Achilles  slain, 

And  th'  odious  Memory  of  Pelop's  Sons 
revive  in  Verse. 

II. 

God  of  the  Grape,  thou  potent  Boy, 
Thou  only  Object  of  our  cordial  Vows, 
To  thee  alone  I  consecrate  my  Heart, 


168    THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS 

Ready  to  follow  thee  in  ev  'ry  Part : 
Thy  influence  Sweet  Mirth  bestows, 

For  thee  alone  I'd  live  and  die  in  Scenes  of 
Joy. 
Thy  Bounty  all  our  Wishes  still  prevents; 
Thy  wond'rous  Sweetness  calms  to  soft  Repose 
Our  wild  Regrets  and  restless  Woes, 
And  richly  ev'ry  craving  Mind  contents. 
Without  thee  Venus  has  no  Charms; 
You,  Constancy  to  am'rous  Souls  impart, 
And  Hopes  bestow  to  each  despairing  Heart, 

III. 

But,   what  involuntary   Transports  roll, 
And  seize,  at  once,  my  agitated  Soul ! 
Into  what  sacred  Vale !  what  silent  Wood ! 
(I  speak  not  by  the  Vulgar  understood.) 
Am  I,  0  God!  0  wondrous  Deity! 
Ravished :  brimful  of  thy  Divinity  and  Thee ! 
To  my  (once  Infidel)  believing  Eyes 
Bacchus   unveils  entire   his   sacred   Mysteries. 
Movements  confus'd  of  Joy  and  Fear 
Hurry  me  I  know  not  where. 

With  boldness  all  Divine  the  God  inspires; 
With  what  a  pleasing  Fury  am  I  fill  VI ! 

Such  raging  Fires 
Never  the  Menadcs  in   Tltracian  Caves  beheld. 

IV. 

Descend,   0  Mother-Queen  of  Love, 


THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS    169 

Leave  a  while  the  realms  above ; 

With  your  gay  presence  grace  the  Feast 

Of  that  great  God,  who  bears  a  boundless  Sway, 

Who  conquer 'd  Climates  where  first  rose  the 

Day. 
Descend,  0  Mother-Queen  of  Love, 
At  rich  Repasts  an  ever  welcome  guest; 

But  0  ,  too  long  you  stay, 

Already  young  Amyntor  brisk  and  gay 

His  lovely  Doris  o'er  the  plain  pursues: 
The  sparkling  Juice   at  Sylvan  Nymphs  com- 
mand 
Richly  distills  from  their  ambrosial  Hand, 

And  old  Silenus  copiously  bedews. 


Hence,  ye  profane, 

I  hate  ye  all,  fly,  quit  the  Field, 
My  ready  Soul  gives  way 
To   those   gay   Movements   this  important   day 

Inspires,  so  to  the  Conq'ror  willing  Captives 
yield. 
Come  faithful  followers  of  Bacchus'  train, 
{Bacchus,   most  lovely  of  the   Gods) 
Enter  these  bless 'd  abodes. 
On  high  his  verdant  Banners  rear, 
And  quick  the  festival  prepare. 
Reach  me  my  Lute,  a  proper  Air 


170    THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS 

The  Chords  shall  sound;  the  trembling  Chords 

obey, 
And  join  to  celebrate  this  glorious  day. 

VI. 

But  'midst  the  transports  of  a  pleasing  rage, 
Let's  banish  ever  hence, 
By  a  blind  Vapour  rais'd,  and  vain  pretence, 

Those   loud    seditious   clamours   that    engage 

Only  inhuman,  brutish  Souls, 
By  barb'rous  Scythians  only  understood, 
Who  cruelly  their  flowing  Bowls 

At  banquets  intermix  with  streams  of  blood. 
Dreadful,  preposterous  merriment! 
Our  hands  all  gaily  innocent, 
Ought  ne'er  in  such  confusion  bear  a  part, 
Polluted  with  a  savage  Centaur's  mortal  dart. 

VII. 

From  this  sweet  innocent  repast, 

(Too  exquisite,  alas!  to  last) 

Let's  ever  banish  the  rude  din  of  Arms, 

Frightful  Bellona,   and  her  dread   alarms. 

The  dire  confusions  of  pernicious  war, 

The  Satyrs,  Fauns,  and  Bacchus,  all  abhor. 

Curs'd  be  those  sanguinary  mortals,   who 
Of  reeking  blood  with  crimson  tides 

The  sacred  mysteries  imbrue 
Of  our  great  God  who  over  peace  presides. 


THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS    171 
VIII. 

But  if  I  must  wage  war, 
If  so  necessity  commands, 
Follow,  my  friends,  advance  your  Hands, 

Let  us  commence  the  pleasing  jar. 
With  wreaths  of  Ivy  be  our  Temples  bound, 
Hark!  to  Arms,  to  Arms,  they  sound, 
Th'  Alarm  to  Battle  calls, 
Lend  me  your  formidable  Thyrse  ye  Bacchanals. 

Double  your  Strokes.     Bold bolder  yet, 

'Tis   done How    many    rivals    conquer 'd 

lie? 

How  many  hardy  combatants  submit? 

0  Son  of  Jupiter,  thy  deity, 

And  Sovereign  Power,  we  own,  and  aid  di- 
vine: 
Nothing  but  heaps  of  jolly  Topers  slain 

1  see  extended  on  the  plain, 

Floating  in  ruddy  streams  of  reeking  Wine. 

IX. 

Io  Victoria  to  our  King, 

To  Bacchus  songs  of  triumph  let  us  sing ; 

His  great  immortal  name 

Let  us  aloud  to  distant  worlds  proclaim, 

Io  Victoria  to  our  King, 

To  Bacchus  grateful  strains  belong; 

O !  may  his  glories  live  in  endless  song, 

The  vanquish 'd  wel'tring  on  the  sand, 


172    THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS 

One  health  from  us  their  conqu'ror  demand. 

Fill  me  a  Bumper.     Trumpet  sound, 
Second  my  voice,  loud,  louder  yet, 
Sound  our  exploits,  and  their  defeat, 

Who  quiet,  undisturb'd,  possess  the  ground. 
Io  Victoria  to  our  King, 
To  Bacchus,  songs  of  triumph  let  us  sing. 

To  this  great  work  now  finished  (God  be 
thanked)  I  subscribe  as  usual  in  the  like  Cases 
of  Books,  for  I  love  decorum,  and  have  an  ut- 
ter aversion  to  particularity,  prolixity,  and  cir- 
cumlocution. I  say,  to  make  short,  I  sub- 
scribe as  usual,  &c.  in  the  like  Cases,  &c.  for  I 
love,  &c.  and  have  an  aversion,  &c.  the  univer- 
sally famous  and  most  noted  name  which  is  sub- 
scribed to  all  Books  by  what  name  or  titles  dig- 
nified or  distinguished:  Or  of  what  sort,  spe- 
cies, size,  dimension,  or  magnitude  soever, 
pamphletary,  or  voluminous;  whether  they 
be  first  and  foremost,  plays,  either  comical, 
tragical,  comi-tragical,  tragi-comical,  or  pasto- 
ral ;  godly,  or  prophane  songs,  or  ballads; 
sermons,  high  or  low,  Popish  or  Protestant, 
disenting,  independent,  enthusiastical,  brownis- 
tical,  heterodox  or  orthodox;  Philadelphian, 
Muggletonian,  Sacheverelian,  or  Bangorian, 
Quaking,  Rhapsodical,  Prophetical,  or  Non- 
sensical, Legends  golden  or  plain;  Breviaries, 
Graduate,     Missals,     Pontificals,     Ceremonials, 


THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS     173 

Antiphonaries,  Statutes,  Spelling  Books.  Or, 
secondly  and  lastly,  Tracts,  Treatises,  Essays; 
Pandects,  Codes,  Institutes;  Primers,  Ro- 
saries, Romances;  Travels,  Synods,  History 
Books;  Digests,  Decretals,  Lives;  Commenta- 
ries Anagogical,  Allegorical  or  Trop ©logical ; 
Journals,  Expositions,  Vocabularies,  Pilgrim- 
ages, Manuals,  Indexes,  Common  or  Expur- 
gatorial ;  Almanacks,  Bulls,  Constitutions,  or 
Lottery  Books,  viz.  i.  e.  namely,  to  wit,  or  that 
is  to  say, 

FINIS, 

Which  being  interpreted  is, 
The    E  N  D. 


POSTSCRIPT. 

HAVING  received  the  following  Letter 
from  a  merry  friend,  wherein  are  some 
(not  unpleasant)  Remarks,  on  the  foregoing 
Treatise,  I  thought  fit  to  send  it  to  the  Press, 
which  the  Reader,  as  he  is  at  liberty  either  to 
read,  or  let  alone,  so  it  is  the  same  thing  to  me, 
whether  he  does  read  it,  or  let  it  alone. 

To  the  renowned  Boniface  Oinophilus  de 
Monte  Fiascone,  A.  B.  C.  Author  of  the  most 
inimitable  (and  non-pareil)  Treatise,  Ebrietatis 
Encomium,  to  be  left  with  that  Mirror  of  priva- 
tive perspicuity,  Signor  Edemondo  Curluccio, 
at  the  Bible  and  Dial  over  against  Catherine- 
street  in  the  Strand. 

Right    Trusty,   and  iv ell-beloved,   I   greet   you 
well, 

HAVING  perused  (at  the  Booksellers,  who, 
showed  me  the  sheets)  your  Ebrietatis 
Encomium,  all  through,  even  unto  Finis,  or  the 
End,  I  own  I  was  not  a  little  diverted  thereat. 
But  as  I  never  flatter  any  body,  so  my  friends 
may  least  of  all  expect  I  should  begin  with 
them.  I  must,  therefore,  be  frank  and  free  with 
you,  most  renowned,  and  never-to-be-forgotten 
Boniface,  post  nullos  memorande  sodales,  and 


THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS    175 

tell  you,  that  you  have  omitted  several  things 
very  material,  and  highly  conducible  to  the 
elucidation,  or  illustration  (chuse  you  whether) 
of  your  agreeable  subject.  But  perhaps  they 
either  did  not  occur  to  your  memory ;  or,  which 
is  the  same  thing  (quoad  Lcctorem)  you  were 
entirely  ignorant  of  them,  but  which  take  as 
follow. 

First  and  foremost,  amongst  your  Philoso- 
phers you  have  taken  no  notice  of  the  stupend- 
ous Des  Cartes,  with  his  wonderful  system  of 
whirlpools  (Vortices)  and  particles  cubic,  conic, 
striate,  oblong,  globular,  hooked,  crooked, 
spiral  and  anguilear:  For  who  the  devil  but  a 
mere  tipsey,  giddy  Brains,  could  have  dished 
up  such  a  confounded  Hotch-potch  and  Galli- 
matias  of  whimsical  rotations,  or  fancied  that 
the  whole  Earth  whirl 'd  round  like  a  town-top, 
had  not  Vinorum  materia  subtilis,  the  circling 
Effluvia  of  Liber  Pater  abundantly  invaded  his 
capital  regions. 

So  have  I  seen  in  Days  of  Yore  a  Dame 
At  Winchester,  who  seventy  winters  knew, 
Not  more  nor  less,  my  mistress  then  yclept, 
Hight  Margaret,  deceas'd  long  since  I  trow, 
Whose  fate  I  thus  bemoan 'd  in  song  sublime. 

She's  gone,  alas!  the  beauteous  nymph  is 
dead, 
Dead  to  my  hopes,  and  all  my  eager  wishes : 


176    THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS 

Such  is  the  state  of  poor  unhappy  man, 
All  things  soon  pass  away,  nought  permanent, 
That  rolls  beneath  the  Vortex  of  the  Moon. 
So  when  we've  screw 'd  up  to  the  highest  Peg* 
Our  ample  lines  of  future  happiness, 
Some    disappointments   dire,    or    chance    disas- 
trous, 
Snaps  the  extended  Chords.     0 !  then  farewel, 
No  more  shall  visual  ray  of  form  acute 
Affect  her  wondrous  mien.     Farewel  those  lips 
Of  Sapphire  tincture,  gums  of  Crocus  die 
Freed   from  th'   ungrateful   load   of  cumbrous 

teeth. 
Mantle  farewell,  of  Grogram  brown  compos 'd, 
Studded  with  silver  clasp  in  number  plural : 
With  jacket  short,  so  famous,  tory  red, 
Not  hemm'd,  but  bound  about  with  good  gal- 
loon 
Of  deepest  Mazarine  (delightful  hue!) 
Farewell    (I    sighing    speak)     those     non-such 

shoes 
Of  obfusc  colour  (heel  of  form  cylindrous) 
In  Loves  true  Knot  of  verdant  Ferrit  tied. 

But  oh!  farewell,  a  long  and  last  farewell, 
To  large  Ampull  with  vital  water  fraught, 
Wherein  the  Effluvia  soft  and  delicate 
Of  dulcet  anniseed   (not  Coriander) 
In  its  capacious  rim  of  form  anguillar 


You  must  remember  my  Mrs's.  name  was  Margaret. 


THE  PRAISE  OP  DRUNKENNESS     177 

Whirl  in  sweet  Vortex.    Hence  it  was  observed, 
The  subtile  matter,  when  in  throat  retir'd, 
Kept  still  its  roulant  quality,  and  oft 
Would  mount  in  circling  spires  to  Pericranium 
Of  she-philosopher,  when  in  elbow  chair, 
Deep   and   profound,   would  the  grave  matron 

reve, 
And    learnedly    pronounce    (like    great    Rena- 

TUS*) 

With  equal  verity  the  world  turns  round. 

Second}  11  and  lastmost,  you  should  have  add- 
ed at  the  end  of  the  Philosophers  chapter,  the 
song  of  the  Tippling  Philosophers,  which  I  send 
you  here  inclosed. 

The  bookseller  to  whom  I  mentioned  this, 
fancied  truly,  that  you  might  think  it  too  mean 
and  trifling  to  insert.  But  without  troubling 
myself  to  know,  whether  this  be  your  sentiment, 
or  whether  he  spoke  this  of  his  own  head,  I 
shall  trouble  myself  to  tell  you,  as  this  song  is 
taken  from  an  excellent  French,  one,  which  you 
may  find  in  a  very  famous  Bookf,  and  which 
(to  follow  your  method)  you  may  know  by  the 
note  at  the  bottom.  The  song  (whether  you 
have  ever  seen  it,  or  not,  I  neither  know,  nor 
do  I  care)  is  as  follows,  and  will  go  with  the 
same  tune  as  the  English  (if  I  am  not  mis- 
taken.) 

*  Des  Cartes 's  Christian  name. 

f  Fureteriana,  p.  205. 


CHANSON  a  BOIRE. 
I. 

J  Echerche  en  vin  la  verite 

Si  le  vin  n'aide  a  ma  foiblesse. 
Toute  la  docte  antiquite 

Dans  le  vin  puisa  la  sagesse. 
Oui  ce  par  le  bon  vin  que  le  bon  sens  eclate 
J'en  atteste  Hypocrate, 
Qui  dit  qu'il  faut  a  chaque  mois 
Du  moins  s'enyvrer  une  fois. 

II. 

Socrate  cet  homme  discret 

Qui  toute  la  terre  revere, 
Alloit  manger  au  Cabaret 

Quand  sa  femme  etoit  en  colere. 
Pouvons-nous  mieux  faire  que  d'imiter  Socrate 
Et  de  Suivre  Hypocrate, 
Qui  dit,  &c. 

III. 

Platon  est  nomme  le  divin 

Farce  qu'tl  etoit  magnifique 
Et  qu'il  regala  de  son  vin 

La  cabale  philosophique. 
8a  table  fut  toujours  splendide  &  delicate 


THE  PRAISE  OP  DRUNKENNESS    179 

II  suivit  Hypocrate, 
Qui  dit,  &c. 

IV. 

Aristotle  buvoit  autant 

Et  nous  avo?is  lieu  de  le  croire 
De  ce  qu'  Alexandre  le  grand 

Son  disciple  aimoii  tant  a  boire. 
Qu'il   degeula    cent   fois   sur   les    bords    de    V 

Euphrate 
En  suivant  Hypocrate, 
Qui  dit,  &c. 

V. 

L'ou  veut  que  Diogene  aimoit  I'eau, 

Mais  il  n'eut  point  cette  folic 
II  so  logea  dans  un  tonneau 

Pour  sentir  le  gout  de  la  lie. 
Et  pour  mieux  boire  au  pot,  il  jetta  la  sa  jatte 
Et  tint  pour  Hypocrate, 
Qui  dit,  &c. 

VI. 

Democrite  pres  de  sa  fin, 

Par  une  invention  jolie, 
En  flairant  seulement  le  vin, 

De  trois  jour  prolongua  sa  vie. 
Le  vin  retarde  plus  la  mort,  qu'il  ne  la  hate 
Temoin  notre  Hypocrate, 
Qui  dit,  &c. 


180    THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS 
VII. 

Heraclite  toujours  etoit 

En  pleurs  a  ce  que  dit  V  histoire, 
Mais  ce  que  le  vin  lui  fortoit 

Par  les  yeux  d  force  de  boire. 
Par  ce  remede  seul  il  guerissoit  sa  rate 
Comme  ordonne  Hypocrate, 
Qui  dit,  &c. 

VIII. 

Epicure  sans  contredit 

De  bons  buveurs  est  le  urai  pere, 
Et  sa  morale  nous  induit 

Au  plaisir,  a  la  bonne  cliere. 
En  vain  I'homme  ici  bas  d'un  autre  bien  se 

flatte : 
Suivons  done  Hypocrate, 
Qui  dit,  &c. 

IX. 

Esope  quelque  fois  la  nuit, 

De  complot  avec  la  servante 
Chalumoit  sans  faire  de  brute 

Les  tonneaux  de  son  maitre  Xante. 
II  en  eut  mis  dix  pots  sous  sa  grosse  Omoplate, 
II  suivit  Hypocrate, 
Qui  dit,  &c. 


THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS    181 
X. 

Galen,  ce  fameux  docteur 

En  traittant  du  jus  de  la  vigne, 
Bit  qu'il  faur  defendre  le  cceur 

Contre  la  qualite,  maligne 
Qui  trouble  nos  humeurs,  les  altere  &  les  gate 
Et  rapparte  Hypocrate, 
Qui  dit,  &c. 


THE 

TIPLING   PHILOSOPHERS. 
I. 

DIOGENES  surly  and  proud, 

Who  snarl  'd  at  the  Macedon  Youth, 
Delighted  in  Wine  that  was  good, 

Because  in  good  Wine  there  is  Truth; 
But  growing  as  poor  as  a  Job, 

Unable  to  purchase  a  Flask, 
He  chose  for  his  Mansion  a  Tub, 

And  liv'd  by  the  Scent  of  the  Cask. 

II. 

Heraclitus  ne'er  wou'd  deny, 

To  tipple  and  cherish  his  Heart, 
And  when  he  was  Maudlin  he'd  cry, 

Because  he  had  empty 'd  his  Quart: 
Tho'  some  are  so  foolish  to  think, 

He  wept  at  Mens  Folly  and  Vice, 
'Twas  only  his  Fashion  to  drink, 

Till  the  Liquor  flow'd  out  of  his  Eyes. 

III. 

Democritits  always  was  glad, 

Of  a  Bumper  to  chear  up  his  Soul, 
And  wou'd  laugh  like  a  Man  that  was  mad, 


THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS    183 

When  over  a  good  flowing  Bowl. 
As  long  as  his  Cellar  was  stor'd, 

The  Liquor  he'd  merrily  quaff, 
And  when  he  was  Drunk  as  a  Lord 

At  those  that  were  Sober  he'd  laugh. 

IV. 

Copernicus  too  like  the  rest, 

Believ'd  there  was  Wisdom  in  Wine, 
And  thought  that  a  Cup  of  the  Best 

Made  Reason  the  better  to  shine. 
With  Wine  he'd  replenish  his  Veins, 

And  make  his  Philosophy  reel, 
Then  fancy 'd  the  World,  like  his  Brains, 

Turn'd  round  like  a  Chariot  AVheel. 


Aristotle  that  Master  of  Arts, 

Had  been  but  a  Dunce  without  Wine, 
And  what  we  ascribe  to  his  Parts, 

Is  due  to  the  Juice  of  the  Vine. 
His  Belly,  most  Writers  agree, 

Was  as  big  as  a  watering  Trough, 
He  therefore  leap'd  into  the  Sea, 

Because  he'd  have  Liquor  enough. 

VI. 

Old  Plato  that  learned  Divine, 

He  fondly  to  Wisdom  was  prone, 
But  had  it  not  been  for  good  Wine, 


184    THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS 

His  Merits  had  never  been  known : 
By  Wine  we  are  generous  made, 

It  furnishes  Fancy  with  Wings, 
Without  it  we  ne'er  shou'd  have  had 

Philosophers,  Poets,  or  Kings. 

Thirdly  and  Lastly,  I  wish  in  Chap.  23.  in 
your  Answers  to  the  Objection,  That  one  can- 
not trust  a  Man  that  gets  drunk,  you  had  been 
pleased  to  have  taken  Notice  of  the  Taciturnity 
and  Continency  of  the  right  Worshipful  the 
Free  Masons  in  this  Respect.  For  tho'  otherwise 
they  are  free  enough  of  Speech,  yet  I  do  as- 
sure you,  as  to  Secrets,  tho'  some  of  them  love 
the  Creature  very  heartily,  and  carouse  abund- 
antly, yet  has  it  never  been  known,  tho'  never 
so  fuddled  (for  Free  Masons  will  get  fuddled) 
that  they  ever  discovered  any  of  their  Secrets. 
This  is  irresistible,  irrefragable,  irrefutable,  or 
if  you  will,  to  speak  (norunt  dialectici)  in 
stylo  infinito,  non-resistible,  non-refragable,  and 
non-refutable,  and,  indeed,  is  my  Argumentum 
palmare  Scotisticum. 

But  and,  Fourthly,  also,  and  Finally,  you 
will  give  me  leave  to  remark  to  you,  That  in 
relation  to  St.  Boniface's  Cup,  which  you  take 
Notice  of  Chap.  XI.  p.  50.  I.  6.  I  do  assure 
you,  Sir,  The  Practice  was  some  Years  ago,  to 
my  certain  Knowledge,  much  in  vogue  (and,  as 
I    am    credibly    informed,    is    still    wonderfully 


THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS    185 

Catholic)   and,  by  the  bye,  take  the  following 
Relation. 

In  the  beginning  of  the  last  Wars,  when  I 
was  very  young,  I  had  the  Misfortune  to  be 
Prisoner  in  Luxemburg,  and  not  too  civilly 
treated  by  the  Governor,  the  morose  Count 
Dautel.  Close  Confinement  (tho'  in  the  Post- 
Master's  House)  with  the  unusual  Smell  of  the 
Stoves  (for  it  was  in  the  cold  Month  of  March) 
made  me  very  ill,  and  worse,  in  all  probability 
should  have  been,  had  I  not  obtained  the  Lib- 
erty of  the  Town,  which,  after  many  fruitless 
Solicitations,  I  despaired,  from  the  ill-natured 
Governor,  nor  should  ever  have  had,  were  it 
not  by  the  pressing  Instance  of  Father  Cripps, 
a  German  Franciscan  Friar,  of  the  Convent  of 
Luxembourg,  whom  they  called  there  Heer* 
Cripps,  being  Confessor  to  the  Governor,  and 
having  been  once  sent  on  a  Message  of  Moment 
from  him  to  the  King  of  Spain,  Philip  the  5th, 
now  reigning. 

This  Father  was  really  a  good  Man,  and  a 
Man  of  Honour,  him  I  gained  by  the  good  Na- 
ture of  the  Post-Master,  whose  Son  was  then  in 
his  Noviceship,  in  the  Noviciate  of  their  Order 
at    Ulflingen.      I    need    not   tell    you,    that   by 

*  Heer,  in  High  Dutch,  is  the  same  as  Monsieur  in 
French,  and  is  given  to  Persons  of  the  highest  Distinction. 


186    THE  PRAISE  OP  DRUNKENNESS 

Noviceship  is  meant  that  Year  of  Probation, 
which  those  who  have  a  Mind  to  enter  into  any 
Religious  Order  in  the  Church  of  Borne,  must 
pass  thro',  before  they  can  be  professed,  or  take 
their  Vows.  This  you,  who  have  been  Abroad, 
must  know  as  well  as  I. 

This  good  Father,  with  much  ado,  obtained 
what  I  desired  from  the  Governor,  who  he  said 
was,  Homo  mirabilis  in  negotiis  suis,  which,  by 
the  sequel  of  his  Discourse,  I  understood  sig- 
nified, a  very  strange  Man  iu  his  Affairs.  Grat- 
itude obliged  me  to  invite  this  Reverend  Father 
to  a  Glass  of  Rhenish,  the  Wine  of  the  Country, 
which  he  frankly  accepted  of  in  the  afternoon, 
and,  indeed,  drank  very  plentifully,  more  Ger- 
manorum,  as  you  have  described.  But  tho'  he 
would  drink  largely  as  well  as  his  Companion, 
yet  I  must  own,  that  in  none  of  the  many  merry 
Bouts  we  had  together  (for  he  visited  me  very 
often  afterwards,  as  I  did  him,  I  never  saw 
him  so  far  advanced  as  to  loose  his  Reason)  he 
never  failed  a  large  Glass  brimful  to  St.  Boni- 
face, which  he  drank  to  the  pious  Memory  of 
the  good  Father,  ad  piam  memoriam  boni  pa- 
tris,  and  sometimes  only  to  the  good  Father, 
ad  bonum  patrem.  I  found  afterwards  the 
same  laudable  Custom  of  St.  Boniface's  Cup  in 
the  Low  Countries,  France  and  Italy,  &c.  among 
the  Religious. 


THE  PRAISE  OP  DRUNKENNESS    187 

And  now,  before  I  subscribe  myself,  Sir, 

Your  most  obedient,  &c. 

give  me  leave  to  tell  you,  that  the  French  Re- 
ligious, who  do  not  speak  much  Latin,  drink 
Healths  in  their  own  Language.  But  I  was 
surprised,  when  I  heard  in  a  certain  Monastery 
every  one  of  the  Fathers  drink  a  full  Glass  to 
each  other  in  these  Words,  a  Bumper,  as  I 
thought.  I  am  obliged  to  your  Reverence 
(Reverend  Father,  said  I  to  the  Procurator, 
who  sat  next  me,  and  drank  to  me  in  the  same 
Words)  in  drinking  to  our  Country  Language, 
you  do  me  a  great  deal  of  Honour.  It  may  be 
your  Country  Phrase,  said  the  Prior  to  me, 
very  gravely,  for  what  I  know;  your  Country 
Men  make  use  of  a  great  many  of  our  Words, 
but  the  Thing  itself,  let  the  Word  (or  vox 
significans)  be  what  it  will,  the  Thing  (or  res 
significata)  is  very  laudable,  and  every  one 
will  practice,  who  has  any  respect  for  the  Sa- 
cred See,  Holy  Church,  and  the  good  of  his 
own  Soul.  Did  you  never  hear  of  the  Indulg- 
ences that  the  good  Father,  Holy  Pope  St. 
Boniface,  has  granted  to  such  as  drink  his  Cup, 
and  which  we  have  just  now  piously  done?  I 
ask  your  Reverence's  Pardon,  Reverend  Father, 
said  I,  I  thought  we  had  only  been  drinking 
a  Bumper  to  one  another.  Seulement  au  bon 
perel  replied  he  a  little  warmly  (for  the  Con- 


188    THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS 

versation  was  all  in  French,  and  which  Word 
I  till  then  mistook  for  a  Bumper.)  Why,  that 
is  all,  said  he,  mais  (continued  he)  c'etoit  au 
bon  pere  St.  Boniface.  You  see,  Sir,  the  double 
Entendre*,  and  that  drinking  of  Bumpers, 
which  some  Precisians  have  ignorantly  called 
Profane,  is  a  Practice  very  Orthodox  and 
Catholic. 

Heigh  Church  militant,  rare  Church  militant, 
dainty  Church  militant,  01 

Dub.  Dub.  Dub.  Dub  a  dub.  Dub.  Dub. 

Tan.  Tan.  Tan.  Tan.  tara  rara  ra. 

Adieu,  mon  tres-cher, 

Votre  ami  tres-affectione 

& 

Valet  bien-humble 
May  1,  1723, 
From   my    Garret   in 
Bandy   legged   Walk. 

F.  Sans-terre. 


*  The  Transition  from  au  bon  pere,  which  is  pure 
French  to  a  Bumper,  is  very  natiwal  and  definitely  more 
so,  than  that  Golden  Pippen  should  be  derived  from 
Cooper,  which  was  said  to  be  effected,  in  process  of  Time, 
after  this  manner,  Cooper,  Hooper,  Roper,  Diaper,  Nap- 
kin, Pipkin,  King  Pepin,  Golden  Pippin. 


THE  PRAISE  OF  DRUNKENNESS     189 
P.  S.  I  paid  the  Waterman  Six  Pence. 
FINIS. 
OMISS. 

PAGE  141.  I.  13.  after  Cylindrous  read  Worn  only  up 
Bays  Non-ferial. 


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